Ok really, how much do you people want to know about my cervix?
I ask because I have my 36 week OB visit this morning, which we all know marks my triumphant return to the stirrups, and is also when people generally start telling you about centimeters and percentages whether you want to hear about it or not. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I just don't feel that you and I have that sort of relationship, and things have been going really well with us lately and I hate to mess it up by suddenly forcing you to withstand biological details of a part of my anatomy that even my own husband is highly unlikely to encounter. (And I was going to make a joke about my husband and my cervix, but then decided that even that joke was more than you needed to know, so I've removed it.)
Here's what I'm thinking. I'll go to my appointment, and my OB will violate me and then pronounce that I am somewhere between "steel trap" and "crowning" and then I will come back and report directly to all of you. But I will report using only Magic 8-Ball-ese. Which I have already Wikipedia'd and therefore have before me the complete list of original Magic 8-Ball responses from which to select. Granted, this will not give you much in the way of actual information as to whether I am close to going into labor or not, but the details wouldn't give you any actual information either as it is all basically moot and just gives us pregnant ladies something to do in the last few weeks.
Anyway, wish me luck as I am seeing the OB that often keeps me waiting for 2 hours and am taking Mia with me. Yeah, I expect it to be just as much fun as it sounds.