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Panic, anyone?

Um, I'm having a baby this year. The whole "next year" thing has, so far, made it all seem rather remote, but I no longer have that mental barrier between me and a life trapped in the house with two screaming children all by myself 12 hours a day. I am not entirely ready for this, especially since Mia has decided that she only does bedtime with two solid hours of near-constant mommy-intervention and I have no idea how I am going to manage that with a newborn attached to my boobs. I suspect we'll just let her stay up until midnight every night and haul her up to bed once she collapses on the couch, totally overloaded from eating and watching whatever she wants because we just need her to chill.

However, I did manage to wash, fold and put away the first six months or so worth of baby clothes, sheets, towels, blankets, and whatnot and raised the crib and found a mobile and bought almost all of the six or so things that I needed for this kid and did not receive for free from generous family and incredibly generous friends. There's still nothing on the walls in the nursery, but at least the walls are no longer pink and there is furniture and a crib. Of course, the mattress is propped up against the wall waiting for me to iron and install the dust ruffle, which knowing how much I hate ironing will probably happen when this kid is four months old. Mia didn't sleep in her crib at all for the first six months, so I'm not all that worried.

I am worried that this kid still doesn't have a name. I told Chris I was not giving birth until we have a name, so if we don't decide by the time I go into labor, we are going with whatever I decide in the car on the way to the hospital.

I also procured myself two sets of hospital-appropriate pajamas, which was absolutely necessary since my usual pajamas are a shirt that has officially become more holes than fabric (which I am sure Chris will steal and burn someday soon, such is his hatred of that shirt, which I stole from him in the first place many years ago) and a pair of formerly black, now gray yoga pants with an ever-growing hole in the ass. My new jammies are two sets of pants/hoodie combos, of which I cannot even hope to zip the jacket, but I am optimistic that once the parasite is removed I'll have better luck.

Speaking of evicting the parasite, on Sunday I gave serious thought to calling my OB and telling her to screw this VBAC thing because I wanted to be strapped to her operating table the absolute soonest she would agree to take this baby. The sheer fact of being pregnant was so painful that I spent the entire day fighting the urge to collapse into a puddle of pitiful tears. Moving hurt. Not moving hurt. Breathing hurt. I couldn't imagine enduring six weeks of that. Fortunately, Monday was a little better, even with nearly passing out in the middle of a facial. I cashed in the birthday gift certificate from Chris and it was mostly lovely and I even bought some things which I ordinarily never do because they are expensive and I am cheap but I had the money and couldn't do anything else with it so whatever. However, about halfway through it occurred to me that I wasn't feeling entirely well and literally my very next thought was hey, I am about to either pass out or vomit or both. I managed not to do either, but I did have to spend some time convincing the aesthetician not to call 911.

And hey, does anybody know what an aesthetician does during that middle part of the facial when they have smeared crap on your face and covered your eyes and then say they are going to step out for a minute? I used to think they went and saw another client, but now I suspect that they either head down to the break room and shoot up, or just pretend to leave and really stand silently in the corner watching to see whether you pick your nose while they are gone.

Wait, I was talking about something else. Oh yes, by Tuesday I was back to just being mildly uncomfortable all the time and bearable pain when doing crazy things like moving and inhaling, so I am optimistic that Sunday was a fluke that won't be repeating itself daily for the next six weeks.

Jeez. Take me back down to only one blog and I go all crazy with the typey-type.

Comments (39)

Wow! Am I the first to comment?

Those last few weeks of pregnancy so royally suck and are painful, that the pain your body is in after giving birth seems to be nothing in comparison. You'll feel so much better in about 6 weeks. Mia will slowly adapt to being a big sister, the good thing is in the beginning babies don't have a regular bedtime so you'll be able to slowly ease Mia into developing a new bedtime routine with Daddy.

Good luck with the VBAC, my fingers (and toes) are crossed for you!

I know you may have been a tad sarcastic, but really? the whole leave the kid to pass out whenever and hope she amuses herself with tv while a tiny human is attached you is really the way to go. Because afterall, Chris will get to leave in the morning. And you may actually want to keep your hair instead of pulling it out.

I feel for you, even with not having a child already to worry about. When midnight rolled around and I realized that this was not only the year but the month I am due to have this baby I slightly panicked. Okay, I really panicked. But I know in the end it will be worth it. And if it means I will have my ribs to myself again then it is definitely worth it, because they are so uncomfortable these days that sleeping is almost a thing of the distant past.

See, this is why mothers amaze and terrify me. I don't know how you do it, but you appear to do it quite well (and don't blow that off, missy :P)
You and Chris love Mia and Wally So Very Much, and I truly believe that is the most important thing. You'll be okay :) I just really hope all the hurting ends soon! (At least with the VBAC you won't have to recover from surgery!)

You were probably feeling like that because you were on your back. With my twins that is how I felt from month 5 if I was on my back!

I am doing a VBAC too this time (I think/hope) we should talk about it sometime.

Beth-
I had 2 c-sections within 18 months of each other and was scared to death of how I would handle a 2nd child, yet wanting to NOT be pregnant for one more second.

Someone once said that being pregnant with a toddler is infinitely harder than having a newborn with a toiler and it is TRUE! There are hard days, and easy days. Nursing time is sacred yet challenging as your heart breaks for the "left out" sibling. But,you will manage that part- you just do! TV will be your savior!

Your first child rocks your whole world into a spin and your second just joins in the fun.

YOU CAN DO IT! It will all fall together and you will think- huh, I just made it through that!

Plus the baby weight FLIES off with all the running around you'll be doing :-)

Jolie

Relax. You will think of a name.

I'm with Tuesday. I felt like that most of the time during my pregnancy. Once he comes out you will be able to breathe just fine. You just won't be able to sleep.

Sweetie, Jolie said it all.
"Your first child rocks your whole world into a spin and your second just joins in the fun."
It's so true and you will be great! I just know.
Remember too, you can always go in and plead with your OB if it really gets bad. But give it all a try.
And you know what? Mia will be great because she will love the baby and want to be a good big sister. Not every day, but most!

I'm sorry that you are in pain ! Does Mia tell the fetus to be nice to you ?

As for the name, I was really disapointed in us as readers that we gave you 1200 suggestions but we are sheep and doubled so many that you only got 300 ! Sorry Beth, we should do better for you.

My esthetician eats her lunch during that break. Or possible shoots up. She has gotten a lot skinnier over the last year.

I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable. I remember those days well... the whole, "get this thing out of me NOW"... good thing that goes away, um, eventually, right?

Here's to a Happy 2008 and lots of joy for you and your family.

Ah, the last few weeks of pregnancy! Nature's way of making you look forward to labour! You will be fine and the baby will be fine and Mia will be fine but you know that, don't you? Looking forward to lots of long, wordy posts over here now!

Good luck with the pregnancy wind-down... take advantage of the time you have to enjoy just being with Mia, and to do a few things for yourself. (Although, maybe a pedicure rather than a flat-on-your-back facial would be a better idea!)

Once your new little man arrives, I'm betting that things will be easier than you think. I have a feeling that Mia will love to "help", which makes it easier to manage two children at once. My Princess "helped" with everything - changing diapers, breastfeeding (yes!), laundry, dressing the baby... You name it, she did it. It made the transition much easier for her, I think.

Just wait till the first time Mia sits down on the couch next to you while you're breastfeeding, lifts her shirt, and puts her dolly to her "boobie". Trust me, it will happen. (And you'll laugh, take photos, and share them with us!)

Oh, it is so nice to have all of you back!

The night before you had Mia, I had a dream that you named the baby Mia. I have a weird sort of...ummm, intuition about things related to babies sometimes. It's a little freaky. Sometimes it's a little off though too -- I had a dream that my old piano teacher's son named a baby the French words for "Whistle Stop."

Anyway, I say this to offer my intuitive baby naming services if need be. If you go into labor, I'll go to sleep and dream the baby's name! Does that sound like a plan?

Got four..11,10,6 and 5...Pregnancy is so not a natural state of being...Everything will get done as it needs to be...Priorities shift a bit and letting your newly walking 14 mth old play in the toilet because you just got the new baby latched on doesnt seem so bad really...right?..right? Crap.

I remember that "GET THIS OUT OF ME" feeling during the last weeks of pregnancy. He was 9lb9oz when he was born - he was a big load to carry around!

However, I also remember feeling, when he was about a week old, that he was a LOT easier to look after when he was still inside me and what WAS I thinking by wanting him out?!

Y'know, being on the far side of the first year of a second baby I can say with confidence that you'll definately manage with Mia and The Little Man. Mia's sleeping habits will improve - either from her own change or that you'll learn to put the door knob lock on the inside of her room and let her "adjust" to a specific bedtime. That sounds cruel but trust me that you'll get over it. There are *so* many things that just stop being an issue when you've two very different gravitational forces pulling you and things that you used to worry about will become "well, I can't do this so what's the next easiest option?"... not always the best option, but the easiest. You get to start being the Meany Mommy. You also get to be the Mommy most in demand for hugs and kisses and help and play, so it evens out.

For a name, I suggest writing down all the names you like on separate scraps of paper and while Chris drives to the hospital you pull them out of your purse one at a time and if it's right the first time, great, if not you'll know and keep digging.

aw, Bethie! I could never quite make up my mind wether those last weeks of agony were my body falling apart or a really clever psychological thing it was doing to make sure I found the transition through to no long being pregnant really easy.

oh and you and mia and small docked person will all survive tv/different bedtimes/whatever. Honest.

I don't know what VBAC is, but is it too early to start with the epidurals?

See, if you can do the pregnancy thing AND entertain Mia all day, then you can definitely do the newborn thing!!! My second pregnancy sounds EXACTLY like yours -- I couldn't MOVE! But, it was HOT HOT summer, and I had no excuse to stay in and on my couch. It SUCKED. You'll be SO relieved when baby comes! You won't sleep much, but you'll be able to bend down and pick things up again! I STILL (3 months later) can't believe I can pick things up without anyone's help!!!

I'm going to really miss the other blog, which I read a lot, even if I didn't comment (because as a baby-less woman, I didn't think my advice would really be that, well, helpful and no one likes the woman who gives advice based on how she's raising her dog). So the more typing over here, the better. You're one of the best.

Hey I am sorry you are in so much pain. There is a chance you could deliver early. My boy stayed 2 weeks past due date and my girl was born 4 weeks early, so ... you never know you could get lucky and have Wally a little early.
Love
D

Man I am so with you on the how-can-I-possibly-go-through-several-more-weeks-of-this front. I want my lungs back. I want to experience five straight minutes without having an internal organ treated like a soccer ball. I want to eat something without re-experiencing it in burning Alien acid form an hour later. I want to sleep on my damn stomach. ETC ETC ETC.

I don't know what freaks me out more, the prospect of staying pregnant, or the notion that this kid is eventually going to be *outside* my body.

Usually that's the clay mask.

Hang in there. I remember how awful I felt during those last few weeks. Pregnancy SUCKS for me during the beginning and end. The rest is fine. Reading this brings it all back, but makes me wonder why we want to do it all over again! And the whole taking care of a toddler with a newborn attached to your boobs thing...that scares me, too, but I bet you will do GREAT at it. It will all work out. I know that sounds cheesy, but it will.

I can't imagine how it must feel to be adding another child to the mix, but then again since I'm not yet a mother, I can't even imagine having one yet! :) I wish you the best of luck with everything, including name choosing, and look forward to reading about yoru journey to motherhood again.

I almost passed out during a facial too! Seriously, with my last pregnancy I suddenly felt very woozy and had to step outside of the room for about thirty seconds. I felt like a total wimp. It happened a second time during a forty-two week ultrasound. Something about being on my back for a long time (insert copulation joke here).

P.S. Just today I was marveling at how much energy I have post-pregnancy vs. my sluggish behavior previously. I feel infinitely better -- keep that in mind as you round the bend. Oh also, newborns generally sleep A LOT. It's great.

Babies! YAY! This time last year I was just as miserable as you are now. I hope unnamed baby, parasite, quits giving you troubles!

So you wanted more than anything to give us another belly picture so that we can ooh and aah at how almost ready you are to have this baby?

You wanted to punch me in the face instead for suggesting it?

(I'd probably pick Option B if I were you, too. :P)

there are not nearly enough belly shots this pregnancy, Beth. just saying. :)

Sorry I've been out of touch. Picked up a nasty cold two days after Christmas. Couldn't see to read or type.

I'm glad you had a good Christmas and New Year.

I have nothing inspiring to contribute except to remind you of what you already know. That little boy is not going to care what is or isn't on the nursery walls.

Take care of yourself. The last month or so is a real pain even for someone like me who could squat, give birth, and go plow the lower 40. Disgusting, isn't it.

Oh Beth. I'm sorry you are hurting but you have to know that you have the support of thousands of us out here in Internet land. You are a great mom and you are only going to get greater when Chris, Jr. comes along.

What? Yeah, I'm pulling for Chris, Jr. for fetus' name. LOL

Hang in there, girl!

"evicting the parasite"

don't feel bad. my sister didn't name my nephew until he was 8 hours old. the family sat in the cafeteria of the hospital trying to name the baby. he was thisclose to being named "enzo" after one of his father's favorite italian race car drivers.

I feel for you. The last few weeks of pregnancy really suck ass. Having some experience of birth and looking after a newborn is both a blessing AND a curse.

Two things that helped me, that might help you, is that I lowered my already-low standards for things like housework and balanced eating, and I made efforts to spend quality time with my older kid. So I made efforts to do something special with him, even if it was just something small. Made efforts to say yes when he asked me to play Pokemon for the nth freaking time.

I did not say yes to him all the time. But saying yes made me feel much better about later saying no, for 10 minutes while I had a shower, or tried to stuff some food in my own gaping maw.

Fwiw, I found having a second both harder than I'd expected, and easier. I knew that she wouldn't be exactly the same as he was (erm, I mean beyond the obvious gender differences!!!!) but I still stupidly expected that she'd be really similar in terms of sleeping and eating etc. Which was wrong!

However, even when I expected one thing and she gave me another, it was easier because I'd done it before and felt confident. I didn't get fazed as easily. It was a lot easier to look beyond this current horrible phase (ear infection, teething, whatever) and *know* that it would end. It was a lot easier to *know* that yes, she would go to sleep eventually (even if I passed out before her).

It was difficult to juggle both kids at times, and still is, of course. Not so much now, but at that point it was really hard to work out how I'd manage to get him to sleep and then her, or vice versa, and still get some sleep myself (my husband was present & willing, but both kids wanted me).

Anyway, I don't pretend to know exactly what you're going through, but I understand a lot of it, and I sympathise. Hope it all goes as smoothly as possible.

I would give you a hug, but I don't think we could considering our (I'm assuming here) big bellies.

I'm worried about the new born attached to boobs while toddler wants attention too.


I'm thinking the TV we normally tend to avoid will just have to help us out.


No name yet? Oh dear. Why not stick with Wally? Walter? :) Hang in there! Just a few more weeks until he quickly and painlessly pops out.

So since I have not yet started trying for baby #2 and because it takes me 2348937 months to get pregnant I know that I will most definitely not be having a baby in 2008.

Not sure how I feel about that.
Hrmm...

Well, as an aesthetician, i can tell you that most go out to smoke or nosh down in the the break room...BUT what they should do is massage your hands or shoulders:) You need to tell your aesthetician that you've been schooled:) And sorry you were feeling bad.

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