Welcome to my Alternate Due Date! If you trust sonogram #3, this baby is due this very day. If you trust sonogram #2, he's due on Sunday, and if you trust sonogram #1 he is entitled to inhabit my uterus until next Friday. We hate sonogram #1, we never invite him to parties. I've still got nothing over here, but I am planning to take Mia to visit the Hotty Pediatrician this morning to discuss (yet again) the Poop Issue, so the smart money is on my water breaking as soon as he enters the room. Because that would be hott and give us something to laugh about for years to come. And by "us" I obviously mean you and me, because I would be forced to never see him again as long as I live. Sure sure, medical professional, seen it all before, but it would just ruin all the fun, don't you think?
I cleaned three bathrooms yesterday, including the floors which I tend to pretend that I forgot about. Not, you understand, because I feel this child needs some sort of pristine environment to come home to, germs make you tough, but because I was hoping a little toilet scrubbing would shake him out of there. No such luck. But at least I got to admire the nice clean bathroom each of the six times I got up to pee last night. I also ate a spicy curry for lunch and spent two hours with a friend who has recently sent two women rushing for labor and delivery (to deliver babies, not just for jollies) and none of it did anything for me.
And I've been saying all along that I wasn't in a rush, no hurry, no need for this child to be born early, but I would like to retract that. I don't know how some of you go weeks and weeks past your due dates, but I am done being pregnant. Finished. Over it. Time to get out of there, little man. I'll give you a cookie.