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It goes to 11

Mia has learned to count to 11. I didn't teach her, she seems to have learned while I was in the hospital. I have spent the past several months trying to teach Mia to count to ten, and she has been steadfastly refusing to go past three. It isn't that I really care if she can count to ten, but she's been reciting the entire alphabet for months now and I figured that if she could master 26 letters, ten numbers should be a breeze. But no, Mia's idea of counting was 1, 2, 3, 9. And then, a couple of weeks ago, she made it to four. 1, 2, 3, 4. That was it, nothing more to see here. Except that suddenly, the kid goes all the way to 11. Do you think she decided that big sisters know how to count?

* * * * *

My stomach is pretty gross these days. It isn't flabby... yet, but only because I haven't lost enough weight for it to really start to sag. But it is a bit... wrinkly, and the skin is rough and feels more like dead weight than skin and I am not entirely optimistic about what it is going to look like when all is said and done. This morning, while looking in the mirror and trying not to notice that my incision is still so swollen that you can tell it is swollen even when I am fully clothed (ew, gross), the barest thought of a tummy tuck crossed my mind. This is highly unlikely to happen, not because I am opposed to plastic surgery but because the only two things that really make me squeamish are IVs and surgery, and I can't imagine volunteering for either one. But if I were going to consider it, I think a tummy tuck may now be at the top of my hypothetical list. The rest of the list would be getting some boobs (not massive boobs, but slightly more boobs than I have boobs) and straightening my pug nose and removing the mole.

And then I got to wondering, what's on your hypothetical plastic surgery list? No bashing yourselves, please, that would get really tedious. Just, if you were going to do it, what are the top two or three things that you would do?

Comments (81)

I've told my husband in the past that if I were going to get plastic surgery, I would get my boobs lifted after I'm done with the baby-making phase of my lift. Later on I would get a neck lift because all of the women in my family seem to get the whole turkey neck thing as they get older, and I'd like to not have to deal with that if possible.

I would get a neck. I believe they call it mini-lypo right under your chin. No matter how thin I've been in the last 15 years - no neck.

And a boob lift. Four kids will do that to you.

The skin on your stomach will bounce back quite a bit more. Give it time.

A tummy tuck and a boob lift.

Boob job. Thats about it.

I'm with you on the tummy tuck. My pregnancy added 100lbs to my small frame. I've lost it all, and then some, and it. is. not. pretty. It hangs when I bend over! (I just threw up in my mouth a little). Number two would be a boob job. I am a nearly 29 year old woman sporting a training bra since the "nearly A" cups don't fit. I don't want the surgery though. I just want someone to wave a wand and make it happen. The thought of the needles and knifes and messing with the skin....ewww.

Yeah, your tummy will improve from the wrinkles in some more time.

Boobs - I've thought about that one for years, though it sends a negative message to my children so it'll never (likely) happen.
Chin, maybe, since I'm getting sick of the extra one.

I would have lipo from my thighs. No matter how much weight I lose, they are always big. 2nd would be tummy tuck.

I'd have (and probably will have at some point) a unilateral body lift. It's the surgery to get rid of extra skin after major weight loss. I'd have my boobs lifted at the same time because they've never pointed the way they should.

Unrelated to weight loss though, I'd have a nose job. I've got a pretty big honker.

My nose could use a re-do, and while you're cutting, if you could tuck back that luggage under my eyes, that'd be just swell (no pun intended).

Hypothetical wish list?

--nose job...just a bit smaller.
--boob job...also a bit smaller--bigger isn't always all it's cracked up to be.
--tummy tuck.

not too bad. which is good since I stand 0 chance of any of these procedures.

I would like some "slightly more than what I have" boobs too. I'll never do it. Thank goodness for Victoria Secret !

Reduction...can't stand the DD's anymore. I want perky little B's! This is going to be my 40th day present to myself (only a couple short years left to lose some weight!)

My son also pretty much refuses to learn his numbers despite knowing the alphabet and singing his ABCs on a regular basis. He also says 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 then eleven-teen... what is that exactly? I do not know.

I would get the dark circles under my eyes done (How I would do that I do not know but I would love to get rid of them and they are TOTALLY genetic...)

Also, I think if I nurse anywhere near as long as I did with #1 (20 months) I would get a boob lift because my god they will be dragging on the floor ;)

But like you I think 'huh that would be neat but it looks painful and why oh why would I willingly undergo that??'

Don't hate me, but...nothing. *hides*

Of course...I'm only 23 and things are still where they are supposed to be. So talk to me in ten years. But if I absolutely HAD to have anything done, I'd get some more boobs, maybe go up to a B cup.

BOOBS! not big boobs just better than A cup, after nursing 3 kids boobs, yes, I need some new boobs.

I would definitely have my neck fat sucked out. and maybe a boob lift

There is only one thing I have honestly considered having changed about me, and that's my teeth. I would love, love, love to have straight, white teeth. I missed out on braces in my youth, and have longed for pretty pearly whites ever since.

I would get all fat sucked out of my thighs,hips and butt.

if I had time or money, then boobs.

That would be great...

Yay for 11!

My hypothetical plastic surgery would probably be the "flatten the sticking out ears" surgery.

You have a lovely nose, so shut up. Also, stop being a mole racist.

I'd probably get my nose done. Maybe get a mole looked at.

Your site STILL doesnt remember my personal info! :( (and yours is the only one!)

1. You MUST give your belly more time to recover.
Did you know that it takes a full year for your body to go back to normal after having a baby?
You havent even given your belly enough time for initial shrinkage.

2. You will still look SMASHINGLY HOTT after the naturally-ocurring shrinkage. Chris and Hotty Pediatrician will have a huge fight, I predict.

3. I would opt for the hypothetical tummy tuck. Because its been over 2 years for me and things are still a bit...loose. And I'd get a boob lift, they got a little flatter after the baby...

4. I hope you're feeling well! Did you name Owen after your pretend celebrity boyfriend???


You are barely out of the hospital! Of course it looks horrible. It took a long time for the skin on my stomach to regain feeling--it just felt sort of...rubbery, or something. My stomach still isn't back to normal even though my last baby is one month older than Mia but I haven't worked on it very hard. But it is a thousand times better than the week after the baby. Plastic surgery? I don't know. Boobs, no way--with age I think smaller is better but of course, someone that has done it might completely recommend it. Tummy tucks look good on Extreme Makeover but the recuperation time and the thought of surgery for that makes me queasy. I'd hire a trainer first and go on a diet and see what happened. Maybe someday I'll spend a few thousand and have my nose done to perfection.

I would get wrist implants. Because no one ever aspired to bony chicken wrists. :)

Boob reduction and hair removal. How great would it be to never have to shave your legs again?

well umm nothing yet but I told my boyfriend that lipo should be included in a c-section procedure!

Boobs. For sure. Not anything outrageous. But after I had R, they shrank to an A cup. And that's being generous.

I might consider a nose job. They say your nose never stops growing, and I am proof of that. And it isn't headed in a good direction.

After that, I'd have a good portion of fat taken out of my ass. Because then, with a boob job, I might actually be somewhat proportional. Now I look like a weeble.

I was lucky to be able to have my "dream" surgery - a breast reduction - in 2006. The have been too big since I got 'em 18 years ago. I had planned on having the surgery after college, but then I met my husband (who's 10 years older), so waiting a few years to make breastfeeding easier was something I was willing to do. They are by no means small now, but they removed a total of 2.6 pounds, and I now I am a 34D. And, perky for the first time in my life. I have had 2 major spinal surgeries (1994, 1995), so the breast reduction surgery was a breeze. Really. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Well, I've already had my boobs done. I went from an A to a C in 1998 and I still love them.

The only other thing I would do is orthodontics and whitening, which I don't even consider "plastic surgery."

Oh, and hair removal. Definitely hair removal. I hate shaving.

1) Teeth straightened (Should have worn that friggin' retainer!)

2) Boobs! Not "look at my huge tits" boobs, but a non saggy c, indeed!

3) Laser hair removal on every inch of my body, snas head and brows

I'm sure I'll be agreeing on the tummy tuck after this pregnancy thing - and maybe some lipo on the thighs?

My mom was telling me that in one of the South American counties, the majority of births are C-section and most women get a little tummy tuck done at the same time. Genius!

I'd get the girls a lift but that's it. Wait, does cosmetic dentistry count? Cuz I'd have a new mouth if it does.

Definitely a tummy tuck! Possibly a nose job, not sure on that one. Sometimes I'm happy with it, but when I look at pictures of me, its the first thing I notice. It's not horrendous or anything.. its not a huge honker or crooked.. it's just positioned weird... or something. I dunno, the thought of someone cutting on my face or having to endure nose bleeds pretty much freaks me out!!

Number one would definitely be a tummy tuck. I'd also get my boobs hoisted back up to their proper position. And I'm with js on the whole "magical wand waving to get it all done" thing.

When I'm done with the whole baby-making process, I would not hesitate to get a tummy tuck. The only thing that makes me uneasy is the price.

I also have an underbite that I really hate. But the tummy tuck is the first thing.

But really - your nose??? I think your nose is perfectly beautiful!

I would want gastric bypass or lapband. Then I would want all the surgeries you have to get when you lose 100+ pounds to get rid of all the loose skin.

And lasik eye surgery. But I'm totally fine with my face and nose.

Maybe we can go in and get a tummy tuck/boob job buy one get one free.

Keep the nose. I think your nose is super cute.

Okay here goes.
1. Liposuction of both hips.
2. Dermabrasion to get rid of the age spots tht I have gotten. (I am not old!)
3. A nose job to make my nose a tad thinner.
But all of this won't happen because actually I don't believe in plastic surgery, it's my vain self that does.

Tummy tuck, definitely. It's only the price that keeps me from doing it: I'm not nervous about surgery.

Tummy tucked. Boobs lifted. Lipo sucked.

OMG. TUMMY TUCK. Two babies that were more like small horses than infants and two c-sections have ravaged my belly. I'm not sure that even plastic surgery could fix it but all the control top granny panties in the world can't hide the floppy, saggy belly! For everything else, there's a padded push-up bra! (Ok, not EVERYTHING else.)

I'm with Carrisa, because all this stupid weight doesn't want to go away the old fashioned way. (Granted, I also suck at the old fashioned way.) And then, if the weight loss doesn't do it, I want my boobs lifted and the batwings GONE.

Liposuction on my thighs, because I would really love for them not to touch each other, and maybe more of a butt since I am pretty flat in that area. Other than that, I have no real complaints. I bet you look hott, Beth, even after surgery and a newborn/toddler household. :)

no no no. no I can't do it. not even hypothetically. ew. no. what I have is what I'm keeping, saggy boobs and all (thanks kids).

I'm with spacecase... I'd have my teeth straight and perfect.
Also, a tummy tuck. But that's only if you're forcing me to think of things :)

Before kids I was all, "no way!", but now? Tummy tuck. I can't stand the flab. It doesn't go away! I am truely considering it.

Boob reduction, definitely. Not too much, but just enough so that I don't get stuck inside dresses in changing rooms.


I'd have it tomorrow if we could afford it.

Breast reduction. I'd like to be a C again. Oh! To be able to shop at Victoria's Secret again...Or better yet, Target. Sigh.

Have you seen this site: It has some really beautiful pictures of the bodies of mothers. It really, really made me feel better about my post-baby body.

Well since it is hypothetical I want a 4-inch leg extension procedure. Something about being 5'9" seems good to me. Perhaps it is the theory that I get to eat more and still stay skinny. I don't know.

Oh, and love your Spinal Tap reference.

1. Tummy tuck
2. Breast reduction
3. Full body lipo ... do they do that?

I do like the idea of leg extensions, however.

Tummy tuck, and I haven't even had a baby yet!

Well, seeing as how I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant it's hard to say. I'm certain that a tummy tuck is first and foremost. Not sure what the boobs are going to look like after this child and another year or so of nursing. But sure aren't going to improve! So yeah, a boob lift would be nice. I've always been busty so I really don't want any MORE boob. What I'd like is for my boobs to relocate to their 21 year-old location. I know I have a little bit of fat under my chin that gives me a double chin in photos sometimes and I HATE it. Both my parents have it so it's only getting worse. I'd like that shit sucked right on out of there, thank you very much.

Wow. That's kinda a lot. Well, it's hypothetical and will likely never happen. My husband isn't so keen on me going under the knife "just for kicks". Frankly, I'm not so keen on that myself.

BTW...saw more pics of you on Chris' blog and you look beautiful!

I once babysat for a kid who would count to ten and then switch to elf, teen, teen, was cute.

I would get my stubbornly fat thighs lipo-ed. I have really strong legs, but this dumb layer of fat on top of the muscle that won't go away. Then maybe the tummy tuck, because who wouldn't want a really flat tummy.

I think you have a nice nose.

The only thing I would seriously consider right now would be a breast reduction/lift. Big boobs aren't all they're cracked up to be!! :)

You can have some of my boobs. They scare me and I'd love to reduce them. Top of my list.

After that, a little tummy tuck would be acceptable. Other than those, I'm fairly happy with what I got.

you can try wrapping your stomach. in most cultures after a woman gives birth they wrap the stomach to help the uturus and everything else go back to the right shape quicker and the like.

here's a site thats american

ignore the sappy lameness. they're product seems pretty good.

inner thigh and tummy liposuction. and maybe eyelid surgery.

Not your traditional answer, but I've had many surgeries in my life, and several have left unattractive scars (think feeding tube) that I would love to get 'fixed' so that they go away.

After having twins I would definitely get a tummy tuck. The saggy belly is not pretty. I would then maybe get some lipo on my hippo thighs. I do have little boobies, but I don't think I would get a boob job.

Breast reduction and lift since I currently resemble an eighty year old woman, lipo for the butt and thighs (running can only do so much) and botox for the wrinkles on my forehead. The third one could happen soon if I get over my fear of needles. Frown lines are not good at 36 years old!

I'd do the turkey-neck repair. It's genetic, and I already have it, and I'm not even 40 yet, for heaven's sake! Also, a boob lift. And a tummy tuck and some liposuction.

In reality, I would never do any of it. I hate needles, I hate surgery, and I can't imagine going under the knife for vanity's there ya go. ;)

Also? Your skin will tighten up quite a lot in the next few weeks. Remember, you had a second CS ~ it's always harder to heal the second time. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

nose, tummy and boobs for sure....anything to get me out of a A-

Breast reduction and lift for sure! One of my friends had it done and she looks awesome! She looks like she lost 20 lbs!

I had an eyelid lift a few years ago. My eyelids were so droopy that I looked drunk all the time. It was totally worth having black eyes for two weeks!

My sisters and I are all about this. I have the same issue as you with the I.V. and surgery fears.

BUT...I would love lipo on the saddlebags and a tummy tuck and lipo on the under arm boobs I sport since kids. I don't want a lift or anything b/c I like shopping for bras. Seriously.

And then, well, I've started to view my body as a scrap book. I've grown attached to my appendectomy scars and tummy stretch marks. They tell a story about what this body has done. So, maybe I'll keep the saggy belly and fatty thighs. I earned them.

Let's see...lap banding, boob reduction, tummy tuck. yep, in that order because once the stomach banding happened, the weight would come off and the boobs would need to be perked up and the tummy would need to go away.

This is not necessarily so I can be supermodel beautiful, merely to live a healthy, productive life not limited in my movements. Okay, so supermodel beautiful wouldn't be too bad...

Something, anything, to make my forehead smaller. I don't even know if they actually *do* that, but since this is all hypothetical, I can say what I want. :)

Botox for wrinkles, esp around my lips...i'm only 30 but can see it coming up
Lipo for my thighs.
Tummy tuck is something I could do with, but feel too scared about.

Tummy tuck and a nose job. I didn't even
have to think about this one.

Too easy. Breast reduction.

(my definition of sexy lingerie is a bra with only 3 sets of hooks on my back.)

Lipo would pretty much sum it all up! I'm actually fairly impressed with my post-baby body (and the fact that it pumped out almost 20 lbs of baby and kept almost the same shape!) but even excersize can't rid me of certain "problem areas". I just try to imagine myself in a country other than the US where my extra 10 lbs are "hot". I'll never be a Victoria's Secret model, but hey, whatever!

Also, I've been on vaca since the beginning of Feb. and just saw your post! Owen! My suggestion! YAY! (not that I think I held all the weight in the descision but hell, my daughter IS Milabean!). Congrat's and BRAVO!!!! You are my hero!

I've known since I was in my teens that I would eventually need to have the girls reduced and re-hung. After using the jugs for their intended purpose for a couple of years, it may take a crane to hoist them back to their original location :). As long as I'm under...a tummy tuck and whatever it takes to rid me of the hereditary double chin.

The reality is that I am a big freaking chicken when it comes to anesthesia. Thank God for Spanx and good bras!

I would have:
boob lift - so my nipples don't point at my toes
laser hair removal - of all places I don't want hair
tummy tuck - after I loose my weight that I want, it will have to be tucked somewhere, I just know I am going to be one of those ladies who has enough skin to use as a blanket when they loose weight in my stomach. *shudder*

hypothetical eh?
* boob lift (my son wonders what those 'things' on my TUMMY are! OMG)
* butt reduction (do they do those?)
But, I'm okay with it all... as long as I'm fully clothed! LOL...

Probably nothing for now (I've already had my 'hypothetical' done....but no need to go into that!) but my fiance and I have already agreed that after all the kids have been had, he'll spring for the 'rejuvenation' of my body.
What a sweetheart.

The one thing I would like to have done is a boob lift. After 4 kids - well lets just say its not pretty.

Tim counts from 1 to 10, but he skips 3 to 7 :)

I'd do something about the scar I have above my belly button (children, do not get you belly button pierced! :)

And perhaps a boob lift when I'm done nursing. To make them look less like tea bags :)

Today, Son number 3 (aged four)
'I'm mending my old Optimus Prime (a transformer toy). Do you know how old he is? He is SO old. He's TWEN-TEEN!!!'

I hasten to add he's been able to count to 100 for a year or so!

I'm honestly not bothered about plastic surgery - I need to tone up my stomach but am content to do that with stomach crunches.
I could probably use a boob lift - always had big boobs and had 5 kids so they droop - but will never have one. I just wear a bra all the time!

I know exactly what I would do. First I would get laser hair removal. I desperately want to never have to shave. Ever. Again! Then it would be a lift for the ladies. They are rather floopy. I need them no bigger, just more ummm... upright? dense? Youthful! I want them less Mom-ish and more youthful. Finally I'd go with the tummy tuck. Two kids sure wreak havok on the waist. I don't have flab there any more, just excess wrinkly skin that no amount of exercising or dieting can touch.

I don't have a fear of surgery. I have a fear of getting evicted from my house because I bought boobs instead of paying the mortgage. Otherwise I'd be all about a full remodel. I love me and in truth, I love my body. But that doesn't mean it couldn't use a little sprucing up, don't ya think?

the stomach will get better, i promise. it is worse initially than the first time around, and will never look quite like right after Mia, but it will get better. i'm 10 weeks post-partum and it's just now getting back to softer, not as saggy-ish. for some reason it takes longer for the skin to return to normal the second time...

ummm...not hypothetical...will definitely be going for the boob lift/reduction and tummy tuck when my next child is weaned and i've lost the baby weight! (i'm due in june)

my sister works for a plastic surgeon so i already have my price quote! :)

Boobs (get some and lift it all back to where it was 16 years ago),
suck out the stuff under my butt and lift that sucker up too,
and save up for a face lift down the road.

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So the Fish Said...

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