Being 39 weeks pregnant is about as much fun as you would expect. I spend all of my time tracking any possibly new symptoms or sensations and wondering hey, is this it? Is this going to turn into labor? The fetus was swishing around in slightly unusual ways last night and I was feeling even more ouchy than usual, so I had myself half convinced that I would be in labor by morning. The result, of course, was that I am still well and fully pregnant but was unable to sleep most of the night. (For fear that I would miss it, apparently.)
And man oh man. I have a firm policy to never discuss my family here (other than Chris and Mia, of course, but I never tell you anything about them that they wouldn't tell you themselves) but my mother is driving me up the wall. She emails me several times a day and calls and yesterday sent an email that just said "anything happening?" I am torn between responding with "Oh yeah, I had the baby three days ago. Didn't I tell you?" or "Well, during my last cervical self-exam I noticed that I was slightly more effaced than I was three hours ago." And I know she's just excited and eager and whatever and I am trying so hard not to be bitchy (hence venting to the internet rather than to her), but I am still a full week from my due date and oh my god I do not need to be fielding eight inquiries a day from her for the next week. My second favorite mom-comment from yesterday was "Just think, if you had wanted a second c-section, you could have had the baby today!" Yeah, thanks.
And here ends the bitching about my mother, because yes clearly I am ungrateful and horrible to be so unkind about her genuine concern. Argh.
Now just in the interest of full disclosure, I have a bit of a confession to make. If I don't go into labor and end up keeping my date with my scheduled c-section, I will be a bit disappointed. I really do want at least the opportunity to try it the other way, for an assortment of good and valid reasons. But at the same time, I think I would be ever so slightly hugely relieved to make it to the 11th and go oh well, gave it a good shot, now where's that scalpel? I mean, there are a couple of ways in which I believe a vaginal delivery may be preferable in my situation to a c-section, but having already done the c-section thing it is a hell of a lot less scary to contemplate. I guess in the final analysis, I'm not overly happy with any of my options for getting this baby out and it is a damned good thing that having him in there is starting to be so miserable or I may have considered just keeping him.