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Questions I get all the damned time, and the answers thereto:

Is Mia's hair naturally curly?
Are there seriously people who curl their 2-year-old's hair every day? Those people need hobbies. Mia will barely allow me to brush her hair, I can't imagine trying to do anything fancy to it. The curls are all hers.

When did Mia's hair get so long?
Last summer.

Why are you a vegetarian?
I'm not. I eat some salmon, tuna and crab and occasionally other kinds of fish.

Then why do you claim to be vegetarian, you lying bitch?
It's just easier than explaining that I don't eat meat or poultry or most kinds of seafood but do eat some seafood, dairy and eggs. Nobody really cares all that much. Well, most people don't care all that much.

Is Mia vegetarian?
By default, yes. Mia has about 6 acceptable foods right now, and none of those is meat. I've offered her meat, chicken and fish and will continue to do so occasionally but will not be the least bit upset if she never takes to it.

But don't you know that you are endangering her health and development by not feeding her hamburgers every day?
What can I say, I'm a horrible mother.

What are you going to do if/when the Hotty Pediatrician reads your blog?
I think that is highly unlikely since the only person (other than my husband) who knows both my url and the identity of the Hotty Pediatrician doesn't hate me that much (shout out to Laura, yo), the internet is a big place so the chances of him stumbling upon me are pretty small, and while he certainly has enough information to google his way here, I am quite certain he isn't that interested in my life. But if it did happen, I would hope he has a good sense of humor. Oh, and probably also hope for the ground to swallow me whole.

When are you going to post a picture of the Hotty Pediatrician?
Two weeks from never.

Where did you get those cool cloth diapers Owen wears?
Costco. Owen wears Pampers.

Is Mia potty training?
Emphatically not.

How's the poop thing going?
I don't want to talk about it.

How much does Owen weigh?
He's gaining about a pound a week, so let's call it 14 pounds or so right now.

What are you feeding that kid?
Breast milk. I was born too late, could have had an amazing career as a wet nurse.

Don't you want to have more kids since yours are so cute?
Nope. Well, maybe, if you are offering to pay for braces and college. But even then, nope.

Can I have your address so I can send you cookies/a baby gift/a nice package of bubonic plague?

What's Mia doing for preschool?
Two days a week at the church up the street.

But you hate church.
Not at all. I'm not religious and I object to many of the things done in the name of religion, but church was always a positive experience for me and I would be happy for my kids to have that same experience.

How are you so thin after having your second kid 6 weeks ago?
Shut up, you dirty liar. I'm 15 pounds up and the massive stash of Easter candy in my kitchen is not helping that situation at all. As of yesterday I was cleared to hit the treadmill though, so wish me luck. (I was also cleared for sex, but am more excited about the treadmill. No offense to my husband, naturally, blame it on the stomach so flabby that I am forced to avoid going outside on breezy days lest it get to blowing around and knock the toddler to the ground.

Did I miss any?

Comments (26)

Great questions and answers!!

People who would curl a 2 year olds hair on a regular basis scare me. LOL

Amelia is also a vegetarian by default, although we do eat some meat around here. I think it's a 2-3 year old thing. :-)

And the reader's mind is calm once again... ;)

Okay, I'm thinking that some of your readers aren't too observant. I knew all those answers. Shoot. Does that make me a blog stalker? LOL!
Anyway, Beth, you do look great and even though you say you are 15 pounds up, I sure can't tell.

It is good to know all of these things.

Now, next we want to know, how is Mia liking preschool?! The questions never end with us, your caring, nosy blog readers...

You do look great!
Hope i look as good after i have a baby!
Pol x

Any crush I might have had on my OB was killed when he cleared me for sex only 4 weeks after my second c-section. In front of my husband. I was sooo not ready. But I wasn't looking forward to the treadmill then either...

What? Pampers is making cloth diapers now? That one took me an alarmingly long time to figure out... More coffee! Stat!

My daughter was born with a whole lot of black hair, which started to grow out light brown within a few months. She looked like she had a bad dye-job, sure, but I was dismayed by the number of people who asked me if I dyed her hair. Yeah, like I've got nothing better to do with my time than put chemicals in my newborn's hair...

"blame it on the stomach so flabby that I am forced to avoid going outside on breezy days lest it get to blowing around and knock the toddler to the ground."

That has to be the funniest thing I've read in ages. The vision that created in my mind is hilarious!!

Hope you guys had a great Easter!

Call yourself a vegaquarian. That's what I do. It either makes them laugh or confuses them into silence. Either way: win/win.

i love when people ask my friend if she dyes her redhead's hair. as if.

Love your blog, don't comment often. I am the mom of a curly haired redhead. Can't tell you the number of times I've been asked if I perm her hair or dye it. She is now almost 14 and no one asks any more -- when it would be a shade more logical (not really). People are sometimes so odd...

Okay, I'll bite.

Favorite adult beverage?

Like Laura, my mom was constantly asked if she permed my naturally curly hair when I was a baby/toddler--what are people thinking?!

So Mia's poop issue it's a hold it in, don't let it out or the world will end issue correct? You're probably sick of advice but...My oldest (11/03/04) had that issue as he was too afraid to poop bc it (poop) had been hard & it hurt to come out. He then began the process of holding it for DAYS until he was writhing around on the floor. We used babylax (enima) a couple of times but didn't want to start a "trend" plus my son called them "butt binkies" (I GUESS they kind of look like a binky...if you squint or something & they are placed in a round hole but dear god don't talk about butt binkies at school...then my husband tried to talk him into letting us give him an enima & called it an anal superhero...seriously like that kind of talk at preschool isn't going to get me a visit to the school's director's office!) ANYHOO talked to the dr & they said that he had started a bad cycle & we should try an over the counter product called Miralax. You add it to any liquid, even milk. It took about 2-3 days to start working & they want him on it for about 2 mos but it's made such a HUGE difference. He's not afraid to poop any more & is "officially" potty trained (before this he had only pooped in the potty about 10 times over the course of 3 mos, he wd ask to poop in a diaper). SO HAPPY.

Oh & I think you look great & you have beautiful kids!!

I totally feel you about the curls. People ask us all the time if we curl our daughters hair. I could never imagine my kid letting me a curling iron or rollers even near her!

Nothing witty to say, just chiming in to say I loved this post.

dude. that is so weird. i was just thinking today about you posting some thing like this. cue twilight zone music...

maybe it is some sort of newborn sleep deprivation esp. except molly girl is not so newbornish anymore (she says as the octobaby bounces off her lap, swinging merrily from her arm...)

also, good answers.

We're not exactly vegetarians, but my kid (nearly 6) has never been that into meat. Legumes are a protein that we both enjoy. Most of the time, I'm just thankful she eats. Anything.

We're not exactly vegetarians, but my kid (nearly 6) has never been that into meat. Legumes are a protein that we both enjoy. Most of the time, I'm just thankful she eats. Anything.

No fair. The one question that I had in my mind for you was the poop one. I was wondering abt that the last couple of days...

I would like to think you made up some of those questions, but I know I would be wrong. :-)

How do you maintain your sense of humor?

laughing too hard for this early at the tummy flying in the wind thing! got the same this sista but the way you say it sounds so funny!

No questions, just wanted to say I'm thrilled that Mia isn't potty training yet...because neither are my two, and they're a few days older than Mia. Perhaps we could call Pampers and get a serious group discount????

Owen...scrumptuous, btw. :)

We almost have the same diet, though I don't eat dairy because Lisa has a cow milk intolerance (like her brother, but he got over it).

No potty training here either. Tim has been showing some interest.. but actually doing it? Not so much.

Okay, I've got to know. After all the talk about hottie Pediatrician, I'm wondering ... I grew up near where you live, and my 6th grade boyfriend is now a ped., and for a number of my friends. Satisfy my curiosity: are hottie Pediatrician's initials BR?

I love that people ask you this stuff. And I'm surprised they do, although I'm not sure why...I get some pretty weird ones to.

Gotta love the internet.

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So the Fish Said...

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