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Photo essay, sort of

Hey, I'm averaging four minutes of free time a day here, you'll take what you can get. Chris has taken to emailing me periodically throughout the day to see "how things are going." What he really wants to know is which, if any, of the children I currently have duct taped to the washing machine in the basement.

Mia's outfit today:

I dig the shoes. I think this is the exact same outfit my grandma used to wear to play shuffleboard on a cruise. Actually, Mia is about the same height as my grandma.

This is what I bought today.

That just seems a bit extreme, doesn't it? I mean, all that stuff barely fit into the back of my SUV. (To be fair, there was a double stroller back there too.) (And it's a very small SUV.)

These are Mia's dinosaurs.

Although I just noticed that the baby triceratops is missing. And really, they are Michael's dinosaurs, which I bought for his birthday lo these many months ago and then chickened out of attending his birthday party with a weeks-old infant tied to my chest so they sat in my coat closet until Mia decided she wanted to be a paleontologist and I gave them to her in hopes of stopping the whining for five minutes. Sorry Michael, I owe you a birthday gift.

I was a little worried how she would respond to the teeth and the claws and the general "I'm gonna tear off your skin and pick my fangs with your bones" attitudes of the bigger dinosaurs, but she doesn't seem to have noticed. Mia's dinosaurs all lie down together to rest and then come give me kisses and yesterday she asked if I would breastfeed them because they were hungry. Hello, gender stereotypes in action, nice to see you.

Some guy just came to my door trying to sell me meat out of his truck. Which a) door to door meat? Really? And b) ha ha, vegetarian, sucker!

And now if you will excuse me, Mia is screaming her curly little head off at the injustice of being duct taped to the dryer confined to her room for quiet time and I have to go get her before she wakes up poor Owen who has decided that teething is incompatible with sleep and therefore desperately needs every minute of nap he can get. She did tell me this morning that I should let Owen sit in his "Bimbo" though, so I suppose I will keep her.

Comments (29)

love, LOVE the "shuffleboard" outfit. Hilarious.

Wow Beth. That's a whole lotta parmesan cheese.

I totally get your concern about the dinosaurs. I was going to post a picture of my daughter's Loving Family dolls. Somehow we ended up with two mommies and one daddy. How do you explain polygamy to a four year old?

Ha! Shuffleboard outfit! Same height as grandma!

Also, I hate shopping trips like that- you spend over 100 bucks and all you have to show for it is 6 months worth of tampons and tide. GAH.

She's so cute with her attitude and hair! (The attitude is less cute to you, I'm sure...) And parmesan and chocolate syrup - you're so ready for the apocalypse now ;)

I was so confused when I read that post. I was like, those look like Michael's dinosaurs. But we haven't seen Beth in forever, how would she know he had those dinosaurs? Did I post a picture of those?

And then I read more and realized you bought Michael those dinosaurs. Thank you. But don't feel bad, b/c he has them! He has every dinosaur on the planet. he and Mia will have so much fun playing dinosaurs.

You're so lucky that Mia wears clothes -- and such a stylish dresser at that! We have a streaker and when she does where clothes it's usually the same shirt two days in a row.

That's a lot of chocolate syrup. Can I come over?

That shuffleboard comment literally had milk coming out of my nose! I'm still giggling about it.
The fact that you made it out of the house and actually bought things with two kids is amazing to me. And the fact that you remembered to pick up the diapers is doubly impressive. I bet we've gone to Target to pick up diapers five times and we we pull into the driveway, we both say "guess what we forgot?" And we only have one!

I have the sniffles, so I could totally use one of those packs of tissues right now. I wouldn't turn away the chocolate syrup either, though.

Goodness, teething already? That little guy is very advanced!

I guess today was a Costco day? Mia is precious - outfit and all. Sorry about the teething. I gets better in about 1.5 years.

Look how long Mia's hair is! Wow! And I do love the outfit. My next cruise that's what I'm wearing!

Oh, GOD. I thought it was only in my small Southern town that men sold meat out of the back of their trucks!

Owen is already in size 3 diapers? The same size my almost-9-month-old wears? Holy breastmilk, Batman.

I love it when the meat people come to my door and try to sell me steak and then I say, "I don't eat red meat" and they look at me like I just sprouted horns. Even if I was a meat-loving-kind-o-gal, there are certain things you don't buy out of the back of a truck.

So what do you do with all that parmesan cheese and chocolate sauce?

Shuffleboard outfit = funny
Nursing dinosaurs, though?? Freaking hy-larious! You are doing fabulously well for someone who is not sleeping much and has to shop at Costco, where it's not possible to buy less than 100 of anything.

Very funny, like everyone else said, but am I the only one dying to know what double stroller you have that would fit in the trunck with all that stuff? My SUV is definitely NOT small and there is no way I could've crammed all that in with our double stroller. If you are so inclined would you please share about your double stroller??

Elizabeth loves dinosaurs too! They have some good ones at Target for like $2 each: they're plastic, but SOFT plastic so they don't KILL YOU if you step on them. She gives them rides in a pink stroller.

So if we came over for dinner, the menu is Parmesan cheese, Peanut Butter and Hershey's chocolate sauce? Yum, sounds delicious to me! With a cruise show by Mia. Dinner and a show!

I've decided that the best way for me to deal with my job is to buy a bunch of figurines from the craft store (they have the best) and then arrange them according to my mood. However, as I was telling The BFF about this Saturday at A.C. Moore, I mistakenly picked up a brontosaurus and said, "LEAVE ME ALONE OR I WILL EAT YOU!" while waving it around menacingly. Something tells me my coworkers won't feel so threatened by a veggie dinosaur.

The meat guy came to my house a while back, only I um... BOUGHT the meat. In my defense, I was so thrown buy the whole guy selling meat out of his truck in my driveway that I couldn't come up with a reason NOT to buy it. Also, I couldn't get in touch with my husband to GIVE me a reason not to buy it. Also, I will never do it again, because NEXT TIME I will say we are vegetarian (we aren't, but thanks for the reason). I am now prepared.

So..might I inquire about the excess amount of Parmesan cheese/

that is a LOT of Parmesan cheese. wow. lol

My 2-year-old daughter brushes her scary T. Rex's teeth. Her dinos have excellent dental care. And they're quite snuggly, too.

I am late on commenting so my "what do you make with four jars of parmesean cheese and two bottles of hershey's syrup" comment won't seem so funny now.

But, I bet you could get the hershey's out of the shuffleboard outfit with that oxyclean.

See...you were very practical.

Oh, and I am glad to know that I am not the only one filling the landfills and ruining the planet with my preference for disposable diapers.

Geesh...all of these green people around here...it is enough to make a girl eat parmesean cheese by the gallon.

Door-to-door meat? That is so, so scary.

Yeah, I'm gonna need the story behind the cheese.

The three year old in me loves Mia's whites shoes and wants my own pair.

Aw yeah. My Grandma totally had those shoes too. Also in black.

She's adorable. (so was Grandma)

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So the Fish Said...

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