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Quick internet poll:

How many consecutive times do you answer the same question before you start spouting bullshit? Say, for example, that the question of the day is "Mommy, where did the dinosaurs go?" How many rounds do you do on extinction and evolution and fossils before you just say "Target, babe. The dinosaurs went to Target."?

Comments (32)

You mean they're an answer that isn't, "Call your father and ask him?" :)

Five.

I give it five rounds before I tell her that the dinosaurs went to Target.

Oh hell, I mess with them the first time.

My four year-old son: Mom, why do boys have nipples?

Me: To nurse kittens.

Let the teachers straigten 'em out later. In the meantime, entertain yourself.

Twice, then I make up an elaborate story as to where the dinosaurs went. Such as, they went out for hot dogs and crossed the street without asking their mother and got lost. They tried to ask a nice police officer, but they didn't know their address so they had to join the circus and live the life of a hobo.

Are yuo talking about a question Mia asked or Chris? LOL. Seriously I have to do the same thing with my husband,

HIM:"Don't you think the Red Sox will win the World Series again this year?"
ME: "Honey it is only June?"
HIM: "Yea, but don't you think the Red Sox will win the World Series again this year?"
ME: "I don't know"
HIM: "Yea, but don't you think the Red Sox will win the World Series again this year?"
ME:"Of COURSE they will."

Three I give it three times before I spout bullshit or whatever he wants to hear - whatever comes first!

It is never ending. . . Once on a walk with my four year old (I was pregnant with #2), he was on his question roll. . . one after another after another. Finally, after the 100th or so "why is the sky blue?" question, I said, "I'm sorry, I guess I just don't know." His response? "For a grown up, you sure don't know very much!"

Didn't even give me credit for the first 100 I did answer!!

I don't have a good answer for you because Bridget is not quite that vocal yet. But I love your answer. And Lisa V's as well.

I start when I need to be amused.

Also, my favorite answer to any version of WHY is "just to see of you'd ask me that question... and hey! it worked!"

But I think I'm going to steal your Target line.

Oh, I drive kid's crazy. I let them have one or two questions, give them the right answers but if they continue I just turn the question back on them. "Wow. That's a great question! Where do YOU think they went to? You're a smart girl I bet you have a FANTASTIC answer!" That's usually met by a blank stare for a second or two and then they would start babbling away and if I needed them to go away for a second I'd give them a crayon and paper with a "That's so interesting! I bet you can draw me a really cool picture of that!"

What I learned a long time ago is that it's the tone that matters. To adults you sound like you're high on crack but to kids? Total distraction and they forget whatever the hell they were driving me crazy about. :D Mean but effective.

My grampa told me that ice cream give dogs worms so I never fed ice cream to dogs and tried to stop anyone who did, so, you know, the dogs wouldn't get worms.

Until I was 47 YEARS OLD and my husband asked "why does it give dogs worms and not people?"

If my grampa weren't dead and done several decades already I would definitely throttle him for that...

So...of course I did amuse myself with my kids, too... it's in the parenting contract that you are allowed to. Honest. Check for yourself on page 127.

My daughter is three and I got tired of telling her I don't know who the people are in magazines, so now I just make up names. "Mama, who's this?" Oh, thats Karen, thats Cindy, and that lady is Roberta.

I'm totally taking notes on how to torture my future children ;-)

Problem is, as soon as you answer Target, they get all smat on you and you becom the idiot! Hang in there, mom!

Problem is, as soon as you answer Target, they get all smart on you and you become the idiot! Hang in there, mom!

I think 10 is my limit.

I answer everything with "the dinosaurs (or whatever) went bye byes." He is satisfied with that. He will repeat it 200 times, like Rain Man, but at least he's not asking me where they went.

I answer everything with "the dinosaurs (or whatever) went bye byes." He is satisfied with that. He will repeat it 200 times, like Rain Man, but at least he's not asking me where they went.

I'm gonna go with 2...

I say 3. Three real answers followed by whatever it takes to shut them up. My 3yo kept asking where Daddy goes in the mornings. I got tired of saying "work" because that would be followed by "why does Daddy go to work?" which would be followed by "to bring home the bacon", followed by "why does daddy bring home the bacon?" followed by "because he wants to", "why does he want to?", and finally "because, Mommy said so."

I never know the answer so I start with the BS.

"Mom, how much does a giraffe's head weigh?"

"About twice as much as yours. Go in the bathroom and weigh your head, and then we'll double it."

I'm not a parent, but . . . what do you do if she then insists on a visit to Target to see the dinosaurs. And what if you take the opportunity to do a little shopping and she gets upset at having been to Target and finding no dinosaurs?

I guess I have the mind a toddler.

From now on, my answer to EVERYTHING is going to be "to nurse kittens."

'bout five rounds.

Three. Then I go to my room and give MYSELF a time out.

Two. Sometimes less, if I'm feeling creative.

Four. My limit is four. After that magic always seems to explain everything.

I like the Target answer but in my case it is flawed. Mila would be wanting to know when we were going to Target to see the dinosaurs, and when tomorrow was, and how many looooongs is twenty four hours, and what are their names so she can draw them a picture and how do you spell Dinosaur, and what does a "d" look like and OH! can I use my NEW paper mommy!?! You get the point right!?

I used to have a lot more patience for this kind of thing. Then it became an every day occurence. Now my limit is three. Yesterday, the questions came after she purposefully smashed a small bug on the back deck.
"Mommy, where'd the bug go?"
You smashed him. He's spread all over your finger.
"Mommy, where'd the bug go?"
You smashed him, honey. He's gone.
"Mommy, where'd the bug go?"
He went under the deck to play with the bunnies.
"Okay."

When Harley was your daughter's age it was 3 or 4 times. Now, I find myself loosing patience after 1-2 times. I find myself constantly telling him to use his computer. He won't and he feels that I'm the walking information booth.

I'm actually surprised that you don't immediately say, 'Target' or 'Sears' or 'Chucky Cheese'.

Try "where do YOU think the dinosaurs went?" after a few times. (Do I really want my daughter to start talking?)

I am usually good for about 5 times then I start asking where they think the answer should be. Their answers are usually much better than mine.

Just wait until Owen is old enough to ask questions. Then you can just tell him to ask Mia.

My brother's way of dealing with my nephew's questions was to answer them for awhile, and when he finally tired of that, saying, no matter the question, "Because it's not a baloney sandwich." Which was the cue to nephew that Q&A session was over.

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So the Fish Said...

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