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Bright side, I suppose

Owen picked up a little cold last week and passed it to Mia over the weekend. By yesterday she was mostly recovered, but did have some lingering congestion and occasional cough. I felt confident that she was healthy enough and not contagious so I sent her off to her preschool, but I was concerned that her stuffy nose would immediately brand me as the mom who sends her sick kid off to school. I suppose then it could almost be seen as fortunate that she cried the entire time, therefore providing a perfectly legitimate alibi for that stuffy nose.

My god it was awful. It will get better though, right? Tell me it will.

Comments (35)

Oh honey, I am so sorry. That just stinks, as if there weren't enough reservations about the whole thing to begin with. Yes it will get better, she will come home begging for more. I took mine to her registration last night and she cried....when it was time to leave. This is year two for her though. Hang in there!

I know this is one of those situations where you want, nay beg to be lied to, but I assure you, I am telling the truth when I say it WILL GET BETTER.

Buck Up Mommy. Sloppy internet hugs. :-)

If I kept mine home every time they had a lingering cough they'd never be at school. Five kids plus reactive airway equals at least one kid coughing on any given day from September through March.

Hang in there.

I'm sure there are rules about when you can bring your sick child in, and I don't think I've ever heard sniffles! Some kids always have them, mine does. He brought home a cold from preschool last week, which he passed on to me and his baby sister, but which he only had for like 12 hours. ANYWAY. He never has gone anywhere, like not even the nursery at the Y because he cried so much and it is going much, MUCH better for us and I know it will for you, too. It's hard to let them go but it's all part of this whack-ass job.

Yes it will get better. A good friend of mine spent every day at school moving closer and closer to the door until she could sneak out the door without her kid noticing/caring. And after a couple of weeks? He loved school. LOVED it.

Oh but in the mean time it's a heart breaker. Also sending you sloppy internet hugs.

Yes, it'll get better. Although I admit to tears the day I dropped her off at college too!

That just sucks -- so sorry that this was how her first day (and yours) played out.

gets better. don't let it stress you out!!

it will get better! she (and you) just need time to adjust. promise, it will get easier. *smooch*

yes, it gets better.
But when they run off and dont even say goodbye? That breaks your heart just as bad.
Stupid heart.

Aw, that's just heartbreaking! Hopefully she'll be back to her usual self and adjust quickly.

Michael cried the first day too, and he has been in daycare pt since he was 6 months old. the 2nd day he walking in w/out a problem. It will get better. And, if it doesn't, there is no rule that says she has to go this year. She could go next year, or in jan.

It absolutely *will* get better, although I'm so sorry you had to see her upset. We've lucked out this year at school; none of our kindergarteners have had real upsetting days yet. It's so hard to see them so very upset.
Give her a little time. This might be her year to go to preschool, or like some others have mentioned she might just need a little more time before she's ready.

It will get better! Absolutely. Any day now she'll notice all the cool stuff going on around her and get wrapped up in it and have a ball. Promise. I'd try talking about it alot. I mean alot alot. That always helps my munchkin transition. Being aware way ahead of time that it's coming. He doesn't like surprises unless they come covered in chocolate. : )

Yep, it will get better. give it a week (or maybe a few) but it'll be over soon!

You made the right call. Kids will ALWAYS have little sniffles or some other "ailment" that an overbearing parent might use as an excuse to keep 'em home from school. But at some point, they have to go out, even if they're merely 97% healthy on that particular day.

I always tell myself "manyana" when I think I'm worrying too much. At some point, we just have to let them go a little.

Hard, I know!

IT GETS BETTER. Trust me on this. My daughter (almost 3) is the ultimate princess of separation anxiety and if SHE can do the drop off at school thing, I have no doubt that Mia will be able to handle it remarkably well very soon.
I know you don't like unsolicited advice, but I'm going to do it anyway because I could have avoided a lot of miserable drop-offs had I thought of it sooner.
One thing that helped us tremendously was when she started to get nervous walking down the hall toward her room, we talked about all the fun things we were going to do when I picked her up at 2:00. Somehow getting her to think PAST the school day and having something to look forward to helped her understand that the separation was temporary. We saw a lot fewer tears after that.


I don't know. I made mine wait until they were old enough to draft a petition and get 1,000 crayola signatures on it before I'd send them. But I think I am sending my almost 3 year old to preschool, and now I'm scared to death.

Let US know if it gets better, okay?

I promise you it does.

The early days can be SO ROUGH. And then it gets to be normal for everyone, and it's just the thrill of having someone else do fun messy projects with her while you go do something else.

OH yes its gets easier. Wait until she is waving and smiling and telling you to leave. Its always hard the first few times. Hang in there!!!

If you don't feel comfortable sending her to preschool, don't send her! My firstborn went (because I felt like I was a bad mom if I didn't send him), my second-born did not (because I said screw the so-called experts). My second-born is much better behaved than my first, much more socially well-adjusted, and is doing better in school. He learned to read before entering Kindergarten, and my oldest son didn't learn until halfway through first grade. I regret not keeping my oldest at home longer.

The other thing I'd like to point out is that my grandparents' generation, the ones that went through the Depression and WW2, the ones called "The Greatest Generation", did NOT go to preschool! And they survived and thrived wonderfully! They accomplished so much!

My point is, follow your gut instincts. As a mom, you have wonderful, built-in instincts that will guide you every step of the way. Mine have, and the only times I have been wrong was when I DIDN'T listen to my gut. If your instinct (or feelings or whatever you want to call them) says not to send her to preschool, don't send her.

As a preschool teacher, I can attest it will get better. The best advice I can give is set a goodbye routine that you follow each time you drop her off at school. For example one mom gives three kisses and three hugs and then off she goes. It will help the transition for her to know the SAME THING happens every time she goes to school. Some of our kids take longer than others to get used to it, but I've never seen a kid not get used to drop off.

When I took my youngest to preschool, she wasn't happy. She happened to come down with the stomach flu, at school, during the first week. When it came time for her to go back she was hysterical. She associated throwing up with school and was not going to go. The teacher told me that some kids just don't do well in preschool. I kept her home but I was worried about kindergarten.
She wasn't thrilled about kindergarten, but she managed to go and is about to go to college later this month.
I have the funniest video of her talking on the phone to her dad, telling him that she had actually gone to kindergarten and survived. She asks him at one point if she has to go "everyday, EVERYDAY?!?!?" Like, isn't going just once enough?

Oh dear, yes it will get better. Totally what Lizzle said. For Iris, what worked (and we still use it now, occasionally, 3 years later) is me saying "Mommy always comes back" (there is even a pretty good book with that title, or close to it). She cried every day for 4 days, and then that was it, but she still wanted me to say the magic words before I could leave. Whatever kind of routine you can create, and ask Mia for input maybe, will be invaluable.
hang in there!!!

There will be a day (in the not so distant future) where she will run in there and not even look back at you. It WILL get better just you wait and see, but boy does it suck waiting for that to happen. Hang in there!

as a nursery nurse I can say that it happens all the time!!!! sometimes children that are normally perfectly happy at nursery/pre school, can just decide they want to have a full blown scream setion... apparently just to make there parent feel bad as often as soon as the parent leaves... there fine! typical....
anyway, like many people have said, it is a case of hanging in there, she just needs to get used to the new people and suroundings and get to grips with the idea that it is great fun, and you will be back to get her!
I know it sucks now but hang in there soon you will be struggling to prise her away from all her new friends and all the good fun shes having!

Good luck!

It gets better. I promise.

I had a whole big thing typed out, but it comes down to this. It will get better. Give it a little time. And keep a little stash of chocolate to fortify yourself until it does.

I had a whole big thing typed out, but it comes down to this. It will get better. Give it a little time. And keep a little stash of chocolate to fortify yourself until it does.

It will get so much better. My child couldn't wait to go to kindergarten (he was already in preschool at the time), and never looked back. But despite my being 48 yrs old, I vividly recall that the entire year of first grade (I didn't go to preschool or kindergarten), I would occasionally cry to the point of losing my breath. Mind you, I was the youngest of my brothers and sister, and when they all went off to school, it was just me and my mom. I didn't want to go to school! But it got better, although I'll have to tell you, I didn't adjust well, until maybe around the 3rd grade. But Mia's situation is much different -- she's been primed and readied for the learning experience, and her adjustment will be swift, I predict.

Yes, it will get better.

She is the perfect age to figure out really quickly how much cooler all her school friends are than you. Think about that neighbor girl she apparently worships! (Who had the Bratz party, right?? LOL.)

I mean, if your gut says that both you and she are actually not ready, then listen to your gut. But if you think you are both ready, no matter the reasons (for Mia: social experience? academia? worldliness?, for you: sanity? bonding with Owen? worldliness?), then you should totally trust that it will get much better very soon.

my daughter cried so hard she threw up the first day of preschool last year. and then, sooner than i expected, i could leave her with not only no vomit, but no tears. and she had a great year. i suspect this year will go more smoothly but still be an adjustment for her - that's just her personality. i'm sure mia will adjust too.

oh sure, probably. It'll just feel like forever until it does (like the no sleeping issue)


I promise it will shortly be much better. A few weeks tops. Every child is different, but she needs to adjust, get used to the routine and get comfortable with her teacher and the other kids. It's all very new to her.

Hi there,

I am a preschool director and I can say without a doubt, it will get better. In fact, we fully expect children to cry during the first few days of school. It is absolutely natural. I can't tell you how many children I have seen cry at the start of school and by the end, they are running the place. I honestly think it is so much harder on the parents. Hang in there and know you are not alone!

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