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Twinge

We are done making babies. Totally finished. No doubt about it. And while I do sometimes think to myself that we could manage just one more little baby, because they are so small and sleep most of the time anyway and maybe we should just barely consider... I quickly snap back to the reality that while babies are nice I absolutely do not want three children. And when I mention these moments of wonder to Chris, he kindly reminds me about the miserable 24 hours that followed Owen's birth and I quickly switch from "just barely maybe" to "no way in hell am I doing that again." It is decided, I am happy with the decision, and over the moon with the two kids we have. I don't want another baby.

But then I finally get around to packing up the co-sleeper that has been sitting disassembled in the corner of my bedroom for months, and I think, I should sell this. It was pretty expensive, I bet I could get a good price for it. And I start pondering the pros and cons of Ebay (expensive shipping) and Craig's List (giving possibly sketchy people your home address) and consignment shops (take a cut of the money) and deciding which is the best option. And while I am deciding, I instead pack the co-sleeper into the back of a closet, because I am not quite ready to part with it.

These little twinges go away, right? Or am I going to have that co-sleeper in the closet for the next ten years?

Comments (50)

heh. You should give it to swistle.

I had my baby stuff for a little over 2 years before I was able to part with it.

Huh, I wish I knew! I still have them! But we have gotten rid of most of the stuff as R grows out of it. I figure why have it hang around for a "what if" - I know we would def. not do anything for 4 to 5 years anyway, so if it does happen in some future time, I would just have to re-buy it. But anyway, we are done, I mean I am pretty sure we are done, like 90% sure... 2 boys, they are great, right...maybe 80-20% sure...

I think it's personal. I gave away, sold, or got otherwise got rid off all of Michael's stuff before he turned one. We knew we were only having one and I have a very small house.

Now that we have considered having another one I feel like an idiot. But, still what would I have done with it for all these years.

i sold mine on craigslist the day by first grew out out if it!

when madam (who is the youngest of five) graduates into a bed in a year or so, I'm looking at having to make a desicion about the cot. About the gorgeus (if battered and very simple) white painted wooden cot, that was second hand from a lovely local family run shop - the dad kindly delivered AND put it up for me - I was a new mother and knew NOTHING! I bought it for eldest boy and they've ALL been in it...

not looking forward to that :(

Luckily (for them, and me, I guess), all my friends are currently having babies, though I was among the first. So, I'm just doling my shit out. Need a swing? Here ya' go. Need an infant car seat and extra base for the second car? Here ya' go? Need an exersaucer/jumperoo/babyatomcollider? Here ya' go. Seriously, we got so much stuff from our oh-so generous family that we're trying to outfit the Southeast with baby stuff. So that's my strategy; I "loan" it until further needed. If The Boy turns out to be an only child, I'll just pass things along again.
I understand the urge to sell things, but because of the hassles you mentioned, it makes me feel better just to pass things on to friends that I know need them. (And also, then, I don't have to worry about storing those things. Win, win!)

When we were still undecided we gave the stuff to my sibblings. That way it was in the family, getting good use and I could get it back if needed. The crib is about to have it's 5th cousin of our son's sleep in it. That to me is pretty special in a way I never thought it would be.

I'm guessing that they go away some day but I still have twinges, and my baby is almost 3 and dh & I have both been fixed since shortly after she was born. It still breaks my heart to part w/ the baby stuff, especially outfits that I've seen pass through all 4 of them and now have no more babies to pass them on to. So, uh, good luck w/ those twinges!

I won't even TRY to answer this!

I gave some maternity clothes to goodwill this past weekend and TRIED really hard not to blink about it. But, blinked. A few times.

We're totally done, too. Decidedly. But... twingey.

Too early for me to tell about the twinges going away but can I suggest donating them to a shelter here that helps women and children after they've fled an abusive situation? They often leave with nothing at all and you know how much baby stuff you go through in just the first year. That way you'll get to know that you've done some good for someone who could really use a break right now and it might overwhelm any remaining twinges you feel about getting rid of some things. Let me know if you'd like the info. for the one we donate to.

Maybe try leaving all options open for now.. at least in your mind. That way, you won't be thinking about every milestone as the last time you'll experience it with your children. And anyway... you're allowed to change your mind. Maybe. If ya wanna... or not.

I can't decide if I want them to go away because I'm sort of afraid that if the twinges are gone then I'm officially old.

I'm in the same boat. We have 2 - one is 4 and one is 1.5 and I'm really getting the itch for a 3rd but I'm not sure I'll ever convince Chris or myself that we should do it. Packing up baby toys recently sent me in a major spiral.

I've been trying, with no luck, to convince the hubby to make another baby. Our son is 2 1/2 and all his baby gear is packed in the garage, my maternity clothes are in the bottom of the closet and I don't want to take the crib down, even though The Boy sleeps in a twin bed now. I'm afraid if the crib goes away, so does my hope for another baby. Twinges suck.

hmmm, tough one.

I had the twinges until after Baby Baby arrived, and now Sweetie and I both look at our family and feel it's complete.

Of course, *disclaimer!* I don't know what will happen when Baby Baby turns one year, which is when we seem to get into trouble, but FOUR kids seems like a big jump to me and I'm pretty sure we're not going there. Still, seems like a pretty big decision to make permanently to be "done." I also think there are so many stages and memories tied to your baby stuff that it's really hard to part with it. Sigh. Did I just go around in a big circle or what?

i used to get the "just one more" twinge just before Isabella turned 2. but now that we are past the no sleeping and we are out of diapers and out of the baby stage...i don't get it anymore. i enjoy other peoples' babies...but totally don't want another one.

They better go away!

Of course, until mine do, I'll just keep packing up the baby clothes and storing them in the attic...

My DD was five before i reluctantly got rid of her crib and other baby paraphernalia. Two weeks to the day after it was all gone, we discovered we were soon to have a son.

God does stuff like that. Lots.
:-)

My daughter is 12.5 and I still have some of her baby stuff I just can't part with.

Our littlest is about to turn 3, and Jen has only recently given into the realization that we're really really done. And she may be lying to me.

I'm very happy with 2, and don't want to go for 3, and I've known that for a long time.

BTW, some (most?) Craigslist transactions take place in a public setting like a coffee shop for the reason of privacy.

Even though I'm pretty sure I want a third, I'm still not 100%. It's hard to make a true decision with all the little baby stuff still out. It talks to me- the footed jammies, the little blankets- all urge me to have another. Hello, I have a 4 month old. What am I thinking!

My husband hasn't even made his snipping appt. yet and I'm giving away all my maternity clothes, breast pump, small baby clothes.

I feel the twinges, but then I think about how hard the first 3 months postpartum are, and the twinges subside. But I had PPD issues with both boys, so that craving for a sweet little girl are pretty easy to push back.

It takes as long as it takes.
I've had my tubes tied and my son is 17 and I still have his baby clothes packed away in the attic. I just keep telling myself I'll pass them on to the grandkids.

Oh, man, are we done! The matter has been permanently taken care of. But every time I think I won't have any more babies (nevermind that I don't like being pregnant much, and while I love babies they limit pretty much every. single. thing. I want to do) I get a little panicked and teary. It almost killed me to donate all the girls old clothes when Owen was born, and I'm still trying to come up with reasons to hold onto his baby stuff as he outgrows it. Don't even get me started on the gear, I'm going to keep it in my closet until my husband notices that there isn't any more space in there!

My oldest is 10-my middle is 6, and
my youngest, my girl, will be 5 in a few weeks. I have boxes of baby clothes I cant part with, I have sweatshirts with their names on them that they will never wear again, and I have her crib bedding that every time I think about it, I get a little sad that there will never be another baby in my house...

I gave away/donated all our baby stuff before my daughter turned 1 because I was so certain we were only having one. I am still almost as certain, have no regrets about getting rid of stuff, but I do still feel the twinge from time to time. Not going to have another, but still, the cuddly newborn syndrome is hard to resist when you discount all the other stuff that goes with it.

I have two boys, 6 and 10, and will have no more children. I don't WANT anymore children. Period.

I cried like a baby when I sold my sons' crib.

I don't think the twinges go away. We knew before our 2nd was born that we were only having two, so I've been donating/giving away as she gets done with stuff. But there are a few outfits, blankets, etc...that get relegated to the back of the closet.

It does feel good to clean some stuff out, but I think the little tiny twinges will always be there no matter what.

And I don't think it is really that we are not having any more, just that mine are growing so quickly and I miss so many things already...

The twinges are there when you least expect them, but there nonetheless. After I had my tubal done, I really went through a week or two where I questioned my decision. Jeff and I spent that week pretty hyper-aware that we were not ever going to have another baby in the house, but after we mourned that loss, we knew it was the right decision and felt ok with it. I hated being pregnant, I hated being up all night, I hate the diapers. We are almost out of the baby stage and I couldn't imagine starting it all over again. My sister in law is pregnant, and I will be getting all of my baby fixes at her house...and then I will go home an d sleep soundly all night long. Three is plenty for us, for our smallish house and for our finances.

We probably aren't done yet but I already find myself making excuses to keep things after we are. You know, for the GRANDCHILDREN. Yeah, like my kids are going to want their old out of style and dangerous baby equipment.

whenever i use craigslist i always meet the person at a very public location so no giving out my address. that and i take my badass husband! :)

as long as the closet holds it, keep it for 10 years!

whenever i use craigslist i always meet the person at a very public location so no giving out my address. that and i take my badass husband! :)

as long as the closet holds it, keep it for 10 years!

whenever i use craigslist i always meet the person at a very public location so no giving out my address. that and i take my badass husband! :)

as long as the closet holds it, keep it for 10 years!

whenever i use craigslist i always meet the person at a very public location so no giving out my address. that and i take my badass husband! :)

as long as the closet holds it, keep it for 10 years!

Keep it and give it to Mia. And by "give it to Mia" I mean, of course, keep it until you have the third kid that you're not planning and don't think you want but really, as horrifying as it seems, it totally awesome in every way once you get over the shock of the whole thing. Which only takes about 18 months.

In case you hadn't noticed, you guys sorta make totally awesome babies. You could make just one more little one, right? :)

My baby is 5 months and there is just no way I'm giving things away. Chances are very very good that we are not having more, but never say never. I'd have a million babies, if they didn't turn into KIDS.

I get rid of EVERYTHING. I am very quick to throw something out if we don't use it. Drives my husband nuts. However, my *baby* just turned eight this month, and I JUST gave the baby swing and high-chair away last week.
*sniff*

Always knew I only wanted 2. Had my tubes tied during my c-section and now am a little sad that I don't have the option to do it again. I remind myself that I don't want more but still makes me sad. It will take me awhile to get rid of baby stuff I imagine.

Why not save it for Mia to use when she has children?

My oldest babies are turning 17 soon, and my youngest is 13 months. I just sold off some of his baby clothes, and today I took them to the post office. After I paid and walked out of the door, I felt like I forgot something, and I realized I was mourning the loss of my childrens' precious baby clothes. We also sold the co-sleeper. Now where will I put the clean clothes waiting to be folded (sometimes for a week)?

I did keep many cherished baby items and put them away in a box for my kids when they they have babies. My oldest has already chosen what she wants and put those things in the box. We kept wooden rattles, the boar bristle wooden baby brush, a bunch of all cotton clothing, blankets, a wooden mobile, among other things. We tried to pick things we thought would be classic. It has really helped the whole feeling of sadness over not having any more.

This coming from a woman who told her husband he best run, not walk, to get the snip if he ever wanted sex from me again. He did and it's a done deal. There are so many children in the world looking for a mom and dad, and I just don't feel right adding any more, biologically.

I wouldn't know if the twinges ever go away, as I really wish for a family with 3. Though I can't imagine getting pregnant anytime soon. But as soon as we're ready for the 3rd, I'll be sure not to go eat tapas with you! ;)

If you are anything like my mother, you will have that co-sleeper forever. Or until Owen and his wife finally convince you to let them have it for THEIR baby.

I am so eager to give every single thing I have to my SIL who is 40 and expecting her "caboose" child in December that I am willing to drive it over to her house this instant, but part of me is worried that she won't take good care of it all, and what if I need it again? I really really really don't want to be pregnant, give birth, nurse or have sleepless nights ever again, and seeing pregnant people who already have a little one gives me the shakes, and DH definitely wants more, but I am just not there at all. And might not ever be until it's too late (age wise), but what if? I feel like I need to hedge just a little...

I will never have another child. No desire whatsoever. NO NO NO NO.

A lot of stuff I gave away. But I still have both miracle blankets and there are clothes I cannot part with from the newborn phase.

The twinge-iness goes away.

We are very done with our 4; but with MC only a year old, the twinges are still there. I can say without a doubt they are less than when I was packing up the last of the baby gear from boy #3...I held on to my breast pump LONG after we were done nursing, for no other reason than it reminded me of that moment in time. I thought we were done with babies then. This time, I am more easily letting go of those things (probably because I have NO ROOM for them anymore lol), yet savoring their short-lived presence.

The twinges, they do not go away. I just had my third boy. 10 years after the last one. We had two boys 22 months apart, and I was done.
And I'm so glad for that twinge because I'm over the moon with my little boy.

I totally get you with the baby feelings. Meghan is hitting two next month and I am definitely getting those 'Do I want a baby? Do I not want a baby?' questions. At the moment it is totally out of the question because of financial (and space!) reasons but if I didn't have a baby right now, I don't think I'd want one. I have plans for my education and if I had one in a few years it would put me back for another couple of years. I don't think I'm prepared to do that, as selfish as it sounds.

Lilli's stuff all went into the attic while we were trying for another baby. While it was there, I loaned the bassinet to a family member and to a friend. We weren't able to have another baby so we ended up selling the crib, changing table, and pack-n-play to friends from church, plus we gave them stuff like our swing and some toys.

I've kept the bassinet and our friend who borrowed it previously is about to borrow it again. I'll probably keep it for Lilli to use with her baby since it's a cool bassinet. And I've saved some clothes and a few toys that I just couldn't bear to part with. If you decide to sell on Craigslist, you can arrange to meet the buyer at a neutral spot instead of giving them your address.

I have NO TWINGES. I'm done done DUNZO. 2 is perfect for me, and I know it. But, most people I know aren't sure, have twinges....

My boys are 13 and 5 and I still own the crib. It's tucked safely away in the attic. I don't expect the twinges to go away until I have grandchildren.

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