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Two sick kids, no sleep, shut up

You people crack me up. I do this whole post about how I ain't never gonna Twitter, and a bunch of you go and follow me on Twitter. I'm up to 76 now. I mean, even my own husband did it, and he certainly gets more than enough of me as it is. You just can't help it, can you? Admitting that you have a problem is the first step.

When I first started reading blogs, one of the very first posts I read was all about how the author liked soup. Soup. 500 words on soup. And not even 500 inspired words on soup, but just "hey, I like soup, it sure is tasty." It was six months before I ever read another blog, because I just don't care that much about soup. And Twitter, to me, seems like a bunch of people talking about soup, but at least they can only do 140 characters instead of 500 words. Now obviously I came around on the blog thing and there must be something to Twitter than I just don't see because you all like it so much and I know you to be smart people, but I just don't get it, and I don't think I ever will.

That said, I am torn between "Twitter is boring" and "Stop following me" for my token tweet. Actually, I am torn between "Twitter is boring" and "Stop following me" and just leaving it eternally (by which I mean another eight months or so until you all get bored with it and move onto something else because Twitter was soooooo 2008) blank as some sort of protest against dedicating so much bandwidth to soup.

Hey, is consternated a word? Spell check totally says no, but spell check also doesn't recognize contractions lately so I am beginning to doubt that spell check is the infallible modern oracle I have always presumed it to me. Anyway, I am consternated that you all said I couldn't email my ex-boyfriend. Because I totally should email him, and I didn't see how you could be so smart and still so wrong. And then I realized that I left out a few highly pertinent facts. First, we dated when I was fifteen. Fifteen! There are no skeletons in this particular closet. He wrote me some poems, we watched some tv, we went to a movie or two, and then I dumped him. That and some decidedly non-strenuous kissing was the extent of the relationship. Also, Chris met him, and his wife, years ago and when I told Chris I had found this particular ex online and was so gonna email him he didn't even look up from Twitter to register even the mildest of interest. There, see? You have changed your minds.

Finally, hey! You know what I did? I decided it would be really fun to put Owen to bed all weekend with angry and ravenous wombats in his pajamas, which is the only possible explanation for why he's accepted screaming all damned night long as his personal savior. Cruel of me, really.

Comments (18)

oh, 15? Go ahead and email him. You're right, that changes everything. You guys shared your childhood, practically. I was thinking he was your first college boyfriend or something. That could get weird.

Well, I guess i musta been in the minority, then. I told you to email him... but... I talk to most of my exes, and it's so harmless, so, I guess you can take that for what it's worth!

Thank you! I though I was the only one not allowed to use contractions anymore!

I would email him, but I have also been called masochistic.

i am so with you about twitter. i mean, so many people like it that it has to have some redeeming quality, right? but even on facebook, i rarely "update status" because i just don't think people care about my comings and goings and i get tired of other people's boring statii as well... "i love my sweet husband and sweet kids blah blah blah" (come on people! i want something witty! and then whenever i think of something to write i have to think about how half of my friends are going to be offended, etc... too much!

so i think you should just write "not having a headline is my headline"... that's my favorite.

oh and i agree. just email the guy. :)

If it makes you feel any better I have never even been on twitter.

I don't think there is anything wrong with sending him an email, that was another lifetime ago, you were teenagers. I had an ex from college send me a message on facebook to see what had happened to me since we'd last seen each other and I didn't see anything wrong with that.

Ooops, that anonymous was me.

I am so there with you on the twitter thing. I don't get it. It's like listening to 10 conversations at once and no one is actually talking to me. Oh, and the ex-15 year old boyfriend. I totally did it this week. Well, on Facebook I befriended him & then we talked. Do it, no big deal.

1. As far as emailing the ex, I'm sure it's safe. You guys were practically embryos when you "went out."

2. I don't do Twitter. I don't get it, either.

3. Maybe you can make your token tweet, "I hate you! Don't leave me!"

1. As far as emailing the ex, I'm sure it's safe. You guys were practically embryos when you "went out."

2. I don't do Twitter. I don't get it, either.

3. Maybe you can make your token tweet, "I hate you! Don't leave me!"

1. As far as emailing the ex, I'm sure it's safe. You guys were practically embryos when you "went out."

2. I don't do Twitter. I don't get it, either.

3. Maybe you can make your token tweet, "I hate you! Don't leave me!"

I had a Twitter for about 2 weeks, and then I woke up and realized that no one really even cared.

Email the ex! You dated when you were in high school, which automatically means you can be friends as adults. At least in my rulebook.

Do it! Email him. You know you won't stop thinking about it until you do it. Then you can tell us all about it anyway.

And to be honest, when I joined Twiter I didn't know why and I still don't know why. It really does seem pointless. I guess it just seemed like the 'in' thing to do, I'm such a follower.

In this case, I would agree that it is okay to email your ex.

I hope the kids are well soon.

oh, you were 15..then yes, go ahead and email.

I admit it, I love the twitter.

Wombats, least you didn't put rabid squirrels in his pj's.

You should never post on twitter ever and see how many people follow you anyway. Like a personal quest or something.

With the added info about the boyfriend, I think it is totally fine to email him. Except you probably already did, right?

So, your tweet? Should totally be about soup. Obviously.

Also, I have seriously cut back on the contractions lately. I was beginning to think that it was some new rule that I hadn't heard about. No more contractions. Spell check is SUCH a jerk.

Wombats hey? Poor kid.

I just became your #99 follower!

A boyfriend from when I was 16 contacted me, and I was freaked out, because we only dated for 2 months or so. I just figured (hoped?) he forgot about me (as I forgot about him). I ignored his message.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
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