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Alternately, "Oh my lands!"

Oh my lawdy! Owen is feeling better, which meant that I spent all day to chasing after him at a dead run to pull things out of his mouth (electrical cord, kleenex, entire grape that Mia dropped, etc.) and saying "No, Owen" about a million times. Tis exhausting. I remember this stage with Mia very well and she was exhausting too, but she never put anything in her mouth so at least she was exhausting without a death wish.

Took both kids to the doctor yesterday and left with a prescription for each of them - antibiotics for Mia and a new reflux drug for poor Owen who was suffering so badly that he couldn't even find the will to climb the walls. Not that I went in there looking for drugs, but leaving with two prescriptions sort of made me feel like I had finally won the pediatrician game. Honestly, if one more pediatrician snidely reminds me that you can't cure a cold while refusing to look me in the eye I'm gonna... gonna... well, I'm gonna do something. Probably smile politely, like usual. And anyway, what it is with pediatricians and eye contact? Now I get that when we see one of the other doctors in the practice who don't see us that often they may have interpersonal issues that cause them to avoid eye contact, but I have seen the Hotty Pediatrician regularly for over three years now, I would think he could bring himself to look at me. Or maybe I am just intolerant because I don't have that issue myself, cause hell, I'll sit in your lap the minute I meet you, I don't care.

Oh! Did I tell you how I totally offended the Hotty Pediatrician? It was awesome! I had hauled my snotty kids in one time or another a while back to have ears and noses and such checked for infection and he was checking Mia's ears with the otoscope and I said "now if I had one of those you would never see me again." Obviously, I meant that if I could check their ears myself I wouldn't need to have him do it and would save him the trouble of reminding me again that cold medicine doesn't cure a cold. But then he said something about seven years of training, blah blah blah, and yes sure, but how much of that seven years was really devoted to learning to recognize an ear infection? Five minutes, maybe? So now perhaps we know why he won't make eye contact, and also why I totally want an otoscope for Christmas.

Hey, do I sound a little manic to you? I sound a little manic to me. Likely it has to do with not leaving the house ever at all last week thanks to my two sick children. I do tend to be a hermit, but even I have my limits, and nine straight days at home with the kids is over that limit. Well ok, not nine straight days, because on Saturday my husband recognized that I was at the absolute end of my rope what with the never leaving the house and the never sleeping at all ever and booked me a massage. Which oh my god - you can keep your flowers and candy and romantic dinners and even the jewelry and I will keep the man who books massages.

Comments (18)

Chris is definitely a keeper :) Know where *I* can find a man who books massages? (Or gives them? heh)
And I think Hotty Pediatrician is either afraid to look at your lovely face lest he ravish you on the stop ;) Or, he's staring at your boobs. Pick one lol.

Oh...a man who books massages is worth keeping...

My husband has said to me, no less than 50 times in the past 4 days, "I really need to book that massage."

FOR HIM.

I'd offer to trade, but I think you're smarter than that.

You CAN buy an otoscope...
http://www.safehomeproducts.com/shp2/sc/shopexd.aspx?id=256569
Surprisingly, they're pretty affordable. Here's a compact, cheaper model...
http://www.amazon.com/Mom-Slimline-Stainless-Otoscope-Pocket/dp/B000J1FT4W/ref=pd_sbs_hpc_2

Can Chris shot Doug an email with that info? B/c I could sure use a massage.

So glad to have found you again (used to read you at ClubMom, but then lost you once Owen was born), like this blog even more than the old one! And Owen is adorable!
In fact, I like your blog so much I've just tagged you... Hope you don't mind!

I made a similar comment to the owner of the practice last Thursday when I hauled Kate in for a once over. She commented on the hundreds of ears examined before one becomes proficient at detecting an ear infection. Which, yeah, I get that... but surely some infections are more apparent than others?

Whatever, I'm sure if I actually bought an otoscope I'd be convinced all the time that there was a little redness and drive the doctors crazy in a whole new way. Likely trying to take photos through the scope and emailing them over for formal diagnosis, etc.

Oddly enough, I saw an otoscope for sale at CVS with all the thermometers and whatnot a few months ago... :)

I made a comment once when I was pg and trying to make an appointment with the OB/GYN. The hours available to me that day were something like between 10am and 2pm and I couldn't squeeze it in. I was frustrated and said something about wishing I had those hours. The receptionist quickly reminded me about overnight call and deliveries at all hours of the day and night (which I knew about but still. 10 and 2? Come on!)

I have a nice picture of my daughter at about 1.5 years sticking our otoscope in her friend's ear (they were totally supervised, I swear!) and he's giving her this "now where did you say you got your medical degree, again?" look.

I do think the otoscope's (and the fact that my husband, an erstwhile army medic, actually knows how to use it) saved us a few co-pays. It's not like you are going to start performing appendectomies on your kitchen counter (sterilize first!) and totally put the medical profession out of business.

I say: stocking stuffer. Also, ours doubles as a pinpoint light when we are pulling splinters.

I have partial hearing loss and once said to an audiologist that the only thing that could happen was that my ear would turn black and fall off. I am not sure why she didn't think that was funny. And the no eye contact...you are definately making him nervous with your hotness

I got one a few years ago and it even came with a little booklet with nasty photos of what various ear diseases and stages of infection look like. My daughter (who thinks she's already a doctor and can just skip med. school) loves it. The nasty photo book is her favorite part. I have memories of her sitting on her potty seat when she was very small studying the photos intently!
I say go for it. It's not like you're doing major medical stuff with it and it has to be less damaging than a q-tip.

I totally wear my lipstick and cute jeans for pediatric appointments in case our practice ever gets a hottie doctor.

Totally with you on the massage. For my birthday (when E was 6 months old) my husband got me a half day at the spa and I could have hugged him to death, at that point.

Hell yeah keep the man who books massages!

My mom went to medical school and had an otoscope. Interestingly enough, although my mom had the training, my dad was the only one able to correctly diagnose our ear infections. And he did not go to medical school.

Maybe the hottie pediatrician knows you call him that. I always feel like my one doctor knows I am in love with him and that accounts for his inability to look me in the eye. You know, because he would have to fight himself to not grab me and run away with me. I bet that's the reason for yours too.

My mom had an otoscope when I was little, because I got so many ear infections. But we always had to go to the doctor anyway to get the prescription. (Not if we DIDN'T have an ear infection, true. But I always DID.)

The hardest part of looking at kids' ears is the earwax, or, urh, cerumen (this word takes >2 years of medical education to pick up). Imagine trying to peek through a tiny hole, supposedly looking for a translucent membrane, but really only seeing pieces of yellow goo the size of meteors everywhere. All the while, the child is squirming, the parent is staring at you for making them hold their kid down, and you are deathly scared to let any part of the scope touch the side of the ear canal, since kids are rumored to bleed like the Nile with the tiniest of scratches there, and THAT, if it should happen, would make for very angry parents! Hotty Pediatrician is likely *very* scared and thus can't focus on anything as distracting as an actual human face.

Owen sounds just like Roo! The things I've pulled out of her mouth. Exhausting! Monkey never put things in his mouth so this chasing around the baby thing so much is kind of new.

I think I need to hint my husband that Chris booked you a massage! :)

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So the Fish Said...

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