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Games People Play

When you are a stay-at-home mom (hey, do I get to call myself a work-at-home mom? Some weeks I work not at all and some weeks I work about six hundred hours. Work for money, I mean, since we all know I change poopy diapers just for the glory) you frequently have to make your own entertainment. My favorite game is that old stand-by, Fuck With Your Husband. Not familiar with it? Here's how it works.

Step 1: Make some change to the house. Can be minor or major.
Step 2: Wait for your husband to notice.
Step 3: Lie about how long ago you made the change.

Need more to go on? Here are some examples.

Example 1: Hang a new chandelier in the dining room. Husband notices on the second day, which is pretty good since the dining room is seldom-used. Say "oh yeah, I put that up three weeks ago. You like it?"

Example 2: Move the bed in the guest room to the opposite wall. When husband notices and asks when you did it, say "did what?" When he clarifies that he is asking when you moved the bed, you say "Honey, the bed has been right there since we moved in. Maybe you should go rest or something."

Example 3: When your husband, in late January, goes out one afternoon to take down the Christmas lights, neglect to mention that you took them down two weeks ago. When he returns to inquire about how long he failed to notice that the lights had been taken down, respond with "the lights are gone? Dammit, who steals Christmas lights?"

You should try it. And then you should come back here and tell me about it, because I am always looking for new ideas.

Comments (28)

Evil. I LOVE IT.

heh, I love it. We play this game at my house too, but it isn't quite as fun because my husband travels for work--typically 3 weeks out of the month. Still fun to tell him we've always owned that entryway table when he asks (when in fact I bought it last week, when he was out of town).

Does Chris read your blog?

my Halloween decorations were stolen, so you never know.

That is absolutely hilarious. I've only done something like that to my husband once, but he got so upset that I haven't tried it again since. I guess he just doesn't have the sense of humor to deal with it.

That is absolutely hilarious. I've only done something like that to my husband once, but he got so upset that I haven't tried it again since. I guess he just doesn't have the sense of humor to deal with it.

I moved my husband's grandfather's golf clubs to the attic three days ago. My husband never golfs -- they've just been "decorating" the three homes we've had together for the past ten years. I finally got sick of looking at them.

He hasn't noticed yet and they were in a heavily trafficked area.

Ha. I totally do that...

OMG, too funny! My husband has gotten so, when he notices something new/different, he asks me how long it's been that way. He KNOWS that I mess with him!

My hubby only seems to notice sexy and/or new clothes, a clean house and a few other odds and ends.

Beth, how did you find the time to take down the Christmas lights? That sounds like a nasty, time-consuming job.

I moved the couch SIGNIFICANTLY 2 weeks ago. So far? No comment.

Ha.
My husband doesn't like to be dirty, he's a touch fussy about it.
I don't drink coffee but sometimes I wake up early and make it for him, it makes me feel very "wifely."
So the other morning he's dozing in bed watching the morning news and I come in with an empty cup, holding it like it's steaming full of hot coffee. I reach out over the bed to hand it to him, he sits up and carefully reaches out back to me, and I fake a trip and toss the empty cup on the bed, and it was hilarious.

I TOTALLY do this and yes it is fun :) In coordinating our schedules, we sometimes hit a snag. Whenever possible, I try to blame my husband (who does have a crappy memory and is not attentive to detail). Like when I say that I reminded him about something several times- when it fact I mentioned only briefly. It works about 70% of the time.

Heh wonderfully evil. Of course, now you're busted :P

lol! The thing is, now that my Hubby has had a stroke, my day is like this every day and I don't have to do a thing!

Haha! Classic. I remember hearing about this woman who opened all the cabinets at night and her husband went downstairs in the morning and asked wtf and she'd pretend she didn't know wtf and that it was ghosts. Sort of the same...? I tried it myself, and it didn't work.... Because I always leave the cabinets open -- so my hub barely noticed....

I have been married for 4 years now, and it has NEVER occurred to me to do this!

This is going to be so much fun!!

I do this with things he claims not to remember me telling him. Sometimes I DID tell him, sometimes maybe or maybe not. But either way I say in an exasperated voice, "REMEMBER?? I told you ALL about it WEEKS ago! We had a WHOLE CONVERSATION about it!"

Ha. That sounds like a fun thing to do.

Next week I am going to drop one of my kids off at your house and then leave.

When Chris gets home tell him you have always had three kids.

If he happens to recognize my child, just say "Sarah, who?"

OT...No more Altoid love? And not so flexible anymore?

I need to watch this post to see if Nadine replies to it :)

LOL, you are an evil genius. Good thing Chris has such a good sense of humor, lol.

I do this too. My husband doesn't like it so much.

I remember my mom doing something similar-- she would move the furniture in the family room while my dad was at work (he was a cop and worked crazy shifts). He'd come home in the middle of the night (in the dark) and trip over the newly-placed coffee table, sofa, etc.

Heh...

Do NOT, under any circumstances, tell my husband about this game. God.

It's funny when you do it, though.

Okay, I rarely comment because you have so many and really can't possible have the time to read them all. But I just gotta say, I love reading your blog...off to go rearrange the guest room.

Am totally doing this! You're a genius!

I like this one.

Me: I did something to the house today.
Him (haunted look): What?
Me (mild irritation): Can't you SEE?
Him (scans room with distinct nervousness): Um, you moved the bookcase.
Me (sigh): No, it's always been there...hang on let's see whether the children notice anything.
Him: No, wait, wait, did you em...

Continue until husband begs for mercy.

cynthea - I did something like that to a coworker. I was carrying an empty box and I pretended to struggle with it and asked her (in a strained voice) "Can. you. help. me. with. this?" and she took it. I thinnk she almost fell down because she was expecting it to be really heavy. I think I peed my pants after that. sigh. goodtimes

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So the Fish Said...

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.


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