Owen is getting a molar. I know he's getting a molar. And yet, I am taking him to the pediatrician this afternoon so that I can have a medical professional tell me that he is getting a molar. This makes very little sense, I agree, but if you saw the thing that is bulging out of his gums I think you would agree with me that it was worth 10 bucks to be assured that it is indeed caused by a molar and not a previously undiscovered life form preparing to burst from his gums a la Alien. Speaking of, I saw the first chunk of that movie when I was 10 or so and it damaged me for life and I have never been able to even consider watching it now that I am a less-impressionable adult. See, I used to go visit my grandparents during the summer, and my grandfather let me buy any cereal I wanted (which I chose based on the toy) and rent any movie I wanted. After the Alien debacle, I stuck to renting cartoons.
Anyway, our appointment is at 4:20, and I am considering telling the Hotty Pediatrician that I suspect Owen is hiding his weed in there, but since it will probably really be 4:56 when we see him and he is very unlikely to make the 4:20 connection anyway I suspect I will just skip it. Good thing too, since it isn't very funny and also every time I try to joke with the Hotty Pediatrician I end up saying something horribly offensive instead. Although one time he basically said that everybody should just run around naked all the time, and that one is hard to top.
In other news, I took Mia downtown on the subway this week, and every time there was an announcement, she asked "What did he say, Mommy?" Which meant that I spent half an hour telling her "Orange Line, New Carrollton" about eleventy million times and half of our fellow passengers were laughing at me and the other half were trying to cram their briefcases in my mouth to shut me the hell up already. Then yesterday, Mia and I were talking about the train ride, and I asked her what her favorite part had been. And she said oh, that funny thing he kept saying. And I said what funny thing? And she said you know, the mousement. And I said Orange Line New Carrollton? And she said yes, and then she cracked up. So if you are every in need of a good ice-breaker joke, I hereby recommend "Orange Line, New Carrollton."