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This is why I'm always exhausted

I got up this morning thinking that Owen had slept pretty well last night. And then I played it over in my mind and realized that he woke up five times between 8:00 PM and 6:45 AM. Five times. And I consider that a notable success. Hey, two of those times were before I went to sleep, so he really only woke me up three times.

(Oh yes, I know you are just dying to give me sleep advice right now, and I appreciate the kindness that I know is behind that impulse, but any sleep advice will be immediately deleted with no exceptions. Harsh? Probably. But a) I am so not in the mood, and b) you have no idea what is going on with my kid or what his temperament is like or what his exact sleep issues are, so really any advice you could offer would be a random shot in the dark and I've had more than enough of that in my career as the mother of non-sleeping babies. Thanks anyway.)

On a related subject, is it normal to be able to clearly see a tooth just under a child's gums and for it to then take a month or more for that tooth to cut, or is my child just the slowest teether in the entire history of time because the sleep thing isn't enough torture and I need to deal with inconsolable weeping and biting too? Oy, the biting. The biting had stopped except for when he was exceptionally tired, but this last weekend I have had teeth planted in my skin on a regular basis. His favorite thing to do is to crawl over, pull up on my legs and bite me on the ass. Which would be funny if it weren't for the TEETH. (Advice on teething will not be accepted, see above.)

Ok really, I've got nothing, except that I thought you should know my youngest child is annoying the everliving crap out of me. Good thing he's cute.

As you were.

Comments (38)

Re: the tooth thing (but not sleeping or teething!)

I swear my son's teeth would come through so you could just feel them and then go back down and disappear completely--back and forth FOR WEEKS. Like peek-a-boo teething. It was soooo bizarre. So I'm thinking the just-under-an-amount-of-gum-that-you-can-see-but-not-feel is quite possible, too.

I think the babies were in cahoots last night. I blogged about non-sleeping kids today too.

I promise not to offer any advice, just sympathy. I too had a non sleeper, my son who will be two next month didn't sleep until a year and it was up every two hours until he suddenly decided to start sleeping. Wish I could tell you what made him decide that, but to be honest I don't think it was anything I did. Anyhoo, he is also the slowest teether ever. He has been working on his clearly visible top canines since well before christmas and they are still annoying the piss out of him. The bottom ones came in fine, but the top ones are killing me, and him. Maybe the teething and sleeping go hand in hand.
BTW we are expecting no. 2 in two weeks and I read your blog because it is really funny, but also because it makes me think I might make it through the next year!

Here is some advice-free sympathy! I would have no advice even if you WERE asking for it---sleep issues suck and I don't think I've ever "solved" one.

I could see my daughters teeth clear as day under her gums for a year. A WHOLE YEAR. And then she woke up one morning asking for steak.

I'm guessing it's normal, or we both have freak kids.

I wouldn't have advice for you if you WERE asking for it, because if my kid was doing that on a regular basis I would probably end up throwing myself down the stairs for the relief of a hospital stay. And I figure that's not such good advice. Good luck.

THANK YOU for saying what you did about not giving ad(ass)vice. If I hear one more time, "Give her cereal/formula instead of just breastmilk and she'll sleep through the night." I'm gonna scream. Kids sleep when they're ready. End of story. Everyone can STFU.

(Sorry. I promise to vent my anger elsewhere going forward. Like maybe Chris' blog.)

'On a related subject, is it normal to be able to clearly see a tooth just under a child's gums and for it to then take a month or more for that tooth to cut,'

yes. sorry :(

re sleep solutions - I'm not sure they exsist, actually. i think that the issue passes eventually when it's ready to - and that may or may not coincide with you implementing something ground breaking...

I would have bet you money that my Owen's tooth was arriving "any day" every day for a month. In fact, I would swear that it actually took a week for it to completely cut through. Like, I though I saw/felt *actual* tooth, and then a week later what the rest of the world would call a cut tooth was there.

As for the sleep thing, I won't preach, I'll just commiserate. I had one great sleeper, and two crappy sleepers. I totally gave the first crappy sleeper a pass based on her reflux, but the second crappy sleeper has no such excuses. I believe I heard 6 screeches last night, although I'm so exhausted at this point that I no longer trust my ability to count.

Well, I have to give you the absolute final word on sleep. And after months of sleepless nights, my mom looked knowingly at me and said, "Really smart babies aren't good sleepers". Accurate? Doubtful. Helpful? Yes, at the time. Yes it was.

Sounds like a teething sleep regression to me. But who knows. I sometimes think that they just do it because they know they can get away with it.

*faxes you coffee*

FIVE times. And this is on a GOOD night? I cannot even comprehend that. You still manage to be funny though :)

I have two year old twins and one was a super fast teether while the other was slower than molasses. He is 2.3 years and only has 11 teeth. He always has taken over a month to cut one tooth. His molars took 3 full months from the time I felt a nub to actually coming in. I feel your pain and I sympathize. =(

Sabrina's teeth played hide and seek - drove me (and her I'm sure) nuts.

And sleep troubles? SUCK! Sorry about that.

Oh, I am delurking today to sympathize with you! My daughter did not go without waking me up at least 5-6 times until around Christmas, and she is now 17 months old. I never understood the power of a good night's rest until now, but I know the sleep advice was really annoying, so I offer you nothing other than sympathy!

Cole had the peek-a-boo teeth, too! Fucking miserable- him and me both.

Freaking same boat right now. Sleep deprived and bitter and teething and biting and crap some days I wish it would end but then it would end and there would be no more baby which is sad and makes me weepy so there is NO winning here.

No advice, but my youngest who is mia's age has always been the world's crappiest sleeper. We joke that had she been born first, she'd be an only child. We're joking, yeah - but mY GOD - she's a rotten sleeper.

Crappy sleeper and excruciatingly hard, slow teether over here. (Working on the same darn molars since SEPTEMBER!) Much sympathy and virtual chocolate sent your way :)

Just sympathy from me. My older child was a non-sleeper. He didn't sleep through the night until he was about 2.5 years old. And then we had a baby so I figured things would be just delightful, being kept up by 2 children. But miraculously, that's when Kieran decided to start sleeping from 8 pm until 7:30 am. Yay. So it's just the baby keeping me up at night. She also has been up an average of 5 times per night lately (four of them after I'm asleep) so I hear you. Do you drink coffee? I don't and there isn't enough Diet Coke in the world for me.... :)

I have totally been bitten on the ass by a teething child too. Not my child, somebody else's. I don't have any children yet, but I suppose its never too early to learn to watch your ass when teething toddlers are lurking around.

No advice here, just commiseration. My oldest was the same way. Hang in there.

In the old days they would use paragoric. That's a mixture of opium and alcohol they give to poor addicted newborns in withdrawal nowadays. Sometimes I wish I could give mine opium so she would sleep through the night. But no.

My second is a worse sleeper than her brother, which I honestly didn't think was possible. I wouldn't care so much but I am pregnant and it is a major drag to be pregnant and sleep deprived so what I'm saying is that I feel for you! My girl is just a wee bit older than Owen and she too is the slowest teether ever. She went into her first year a few weeks ago with three teeth, and she is working four more, including a molar, canines, and a front tooth. UGH. I hope you get some rest soon.

That sucks. Plain and simple. I feel your pain....however, let me distract you with some useless info.

It was a public holiday here yesterday. Australia Day.

I have found lately that when I swim laps I sweat whilst swimming. In the pool. Weird hey?

I mopped my floors this morning and it gave me MUCH pleasure. I feel like I can do anything when the house is clean.

I proposed to my husband. 4 months after we met.

I am currently trying to get pregnant with number 2. It actually involves having sex which sucks. But I guess you knew that...with having Owen and all that.

We have great names. Don't you think?

Ok, before you hit delete, you have to read this... my advice for teething for sleeping is alcohol... split a bottle of your favorite choice and all will be good.

Ok, only kidding, if I thought that worked with out getting me arrested, I would have tried it... again... KIDDING!

Good luck on the sleep thing. All I can say is btdt. the teeth thing... sorry only thing that's ever bit me on the ass... oh, guess you really don't want to hear about that...

Good luck. Just hope it passes quickly.

Funny that you would post about teething as we just experienced it here for the first time over the past few days.

Baby J has 4 teeth but #5 was the first one to really seem to bother her. She has always been an oddly good sleeper and then 3 nights ago she woke up at 2 AM and stayed awake which was really odd. And she was weeepy which was really odd. Being new at this we were not sure what was going on. So we walked and rocked and sang until she fell asleep in bed with us. Which is really odd (she has never liked to sleep anywhere near us). The next night she woke up unhappy again so we gave her some ibuprofen for the first time. And she slept. The next night we gave her some ibuprofen before bed. And she slept. This morning a tooth popped out. And we we like a-ha!! It was a tooth! I could have used some of the advice that you don't want! :) Where are all of these advice givers you speak of. I only know one other parent! And she never gives me advice!

I have to admit it was so sweet to cuddle with her at night when she wasn't feeling well. I can't believe she slept in bed with us!! Now that she feels better she is all about her crib again. When J was born I was all gung-ho about the "family bed" concept. and, of course, J is a crib addict. In her own room no less. The best laid plans..

Anyhow I am procrastinating so that I don't have to get ready for bed. G'nite!

Aubrey

Oh, all of these issues are just so fun, aren't they? Teething wasn't too terrible for mine but our sleep issues are ongoing with my older one. And I have not found one fool-proof strategy anyway! So I feel your pain with the sleep issues--and pray that we will both experience a more restful night of sleep in the VERY near future!

Yuck! Beth (mine, a day younger than Owen) slept through the night early on, then gave that up in favor of getting up 5 times a night, every night, till about a week ago. Then she got a cold, and ironically enough, that seems to have turned everything around again - she's slept through the night, every night, for the last 4 days! Crossing my fingers for you that Owen has the same turnaround soon ...

Mine always seem to be just about to get their next tooth for months! I think it's pretty normal for teeth to kinda move up and down a bit.

I know where you are coming from, in theory I may have been in bed for enough hours, but when I take into account how many times I have woken up and had to get back to sleep it's easy to see why am so tired. Poor you.

Non-sleeping teething babies are the worst! My son (16 months old) was a terrible sleeper. Not long after he turned 1 he started sleeping through the night on a somewhat consistent basis. Hooray! Maybe Owen will follow suit. Although now he wakes up for the day at 5:00 in the morning. Hoping you are spared this lovely habit.

Hey, can I give you some sleep advice?

Just rub a little Jack Daniels on his gums. It'll double as a pain reliever for the teething and a knock-out potion. As his tolerance increases, move to giving him a cap-full, then later, a small glass, then by the time he's a teenager, probably a Big Gulp.

You're welcome!

LOL, no advice here. I've been there. It totally sucks... my youngest isn't such a big fan of sleep - well except during the day when I'm not sleeping. Hang in there.

I don't know how you do it... I have been going without sleep for the last three weeks having just given birth to our third daughter. I think I may be losing my mind!

My oldest girls were also the slowest teethers one cut her first tooth at 11 months and the other at 9 months. The baby has started chomping down on me while I am feeding her and that hurts. I don't even want to think about her having teeth. :)

My oldest was a terrible sleeper and a LONG teether. She's currently working on her 12 year old molars and it brings to mind bad baby days. Now, instead of expressing her pain by biting and crying, she annoys everyone in sight or within hearing that is related to her . . .

BUT at 12 she usually sleeps through the night and if not, can deal with it herself :) And, my eight year old started sleeping through the night every night last year so it will happen. Now I can't get them out of bed!

Dude - no advice here. Only sympathy, as others have said. And it would appear that your child's Chosen Method of Teething is also MY CHILD'S Chosen Method of Teething and we have these ouchy grumpy-making teeth bumps that sit under her gums for MONTHS. And I can SEE THEM. I want to CALL THEM OUT. If I could, I would bring them through the gums with the power of my MIND. We've had one like that since early December and there is still no actual above-gum tooth in sight. ARGH!!!!!

Hey five times is considered a good night over here too...that is so sad.

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So the Fish Said...

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