Owen is sick. Yesterday he woke up at 4:00 AM, coughed for an hour, finally went back to sleep at 5:00 and then popped up at 5:15 ready to get a jump start on the day. I was not so excited. A massive sleep debt plus being awake for the day at 4:00 made for a very zombiefied mommy, so I decided to throw caution to the winds and drink my first cup of real coffee since January 2004.
Did you get that? Five years.
I gave up coffee when we started trying to get pregnant on the theory that I was going to be pregnant soon and have to give it up anyway so may as well do it now. Turned out I could have waited almost a year, but whatever. Giving up coffee was hell for a week - worse than quitting smoking in some ways. When I quit smoking, I wanted a cigarette, but I had a nicotine patch so other than breaking the behavior it wasn't too bad. When I gave up coffee I had to go to bed for a week. Seriously, I would go to work, go home, eat dinner, go to bed, sleep. When it was over, I swore I would never be a caffeine addict again.
That decision is reinforced every time we run out of coffee. Chris drinks coffee and I don't, so I don't so much notice when the supplies are depleted. Chris believes that all household chores are accomplished by magical psychic pixies, so that all he needs to do is bother to notice that we are out of coffee and it will be miraculously replenished by the next time he needs it. This leads to a somewhat frequent conversation where I tell Chris to go out and get himself a cup of coffee and drink it immediately because I am not willing to deal with Asshole Chris all day. I've gone so far as to make it a household rule that he must drink a cup of coffee within 30 minutes of waking up or else I will smack him and withhold sex for a week.
Quitting coffee sucked, and I had decided that I would never go back.
But oh, yesterday. Yesterday was a revelation. A dream. A shiny, rainbows and unicorns dream. I wasn't (so) tired. I wasn't (so) bitchy. The children were less annoying, playing with them was more fun, I got a buttload of work done. It is almost as if I drank a little cup of Prozac mixed with meth rather than a cup of (half) caffeinated coffee.
And I know how is escalates. I know that (half) cup of coffee to feel fabulous soon becomes four cups to feel normal. But I spent all day yesterday looking forward to the coffee I could have this morning.
Ah well. At least the cigarettes are kicked for good.




Comments (26)
Oh... how I feel your pain. I kicked coffee for a year... caffeine in general. Once I took my first sip of that dark, aromatic brew a year later... Yeah... I'm up to 12 cups a day now... sigh
Posted by NotAMeanGirl | February 4, 2009 8:58 AM
I gave up diet coke, I haven't had one in a year and a half...but coffee, I don't smile until my first cup is consumed and my family is well aware of this. I seriously have to have coffee first thing every morning!
Posted by Kami | February 4, 2009 9:08 AM
I have a very emotional attachment to my coffee. I am definitely Asshole Sassy without it. Welcome back to the dark side.
Posted by SassyPants | February 4, 2009 9:24 AM
I gave up caffeine back in September (I was on an expensive Starbucks espresso-based drink habit, as well as Coca-Cola), and haven't looked back since. Chocolate is the sole source of caffeine in my life these days, and I like it that way. I gave it up because it's an inflammatory and I'm trying to control my tendinitis better, and I'd gladly choose pain-free elbow over caffeine.
That being said, there are days when I think it'd be wonderful to have some caffeine, and I don't have kids. I can't imagine dealing with toddlers without some sort of self-medication. At there are lots of studies out there that show coffee is relatively healthy for you. Not so much with cigarettes.
I'm impressed that you could drink coffee after five years and not go completely bazonkers.
Posted by Kelly | February 4, 2009 9:35 AM
Aw yes, I'm back on coffee as well, after giving it up b/c caffeine was causing migraines. I even have an expensive shiny new coffee maker to prove it. And now I can't live without it.
Posted by jodifur | February 4, 2009 9:36 AM
one of my coworkers (and friends) said to me recently that she drinks coffee for the sake of her family and those around her. it's a sacrifice she makes FOR THEM :) i thought that was fantastic!
my god, how much did you enjoy it??!?!?!? (do i even need to ask? ha)
Posted by ali | February 4, 2009 9:50 AM
magical psychic pixies
Seriously made me laugh so hard I snorted. Thanks for that :P
And that whole thing is why I Save coffee for days when I really, really need it. Maybe a couple times a month, usually when I've had less than three hours of sleep. I really appreciate it then ;-)
Posted by Heather | February 4, 2009 9:53 AM
I've never had a cup of coffee in my life (just don't like the taste!) but I'm sooooo addicted to Diet Coke.
Posted by aimee | February 4, 2009 9:54 AM
I didn't give up coffee during pregnancy. I tried -- I really, really tried -- and was waylaid by debilitating migraines within minutes, and finally, my doctor was like, OH MY GOD HAVE COFFEE. THIS IS SO UNNECESSARY.
But I never need more than a half of a cup (I drink it with half a cup of milk) to stave off the headaches, so I guess she was right -- there wasn't much of a risk. But if I don't have that half cup in the morning, I am passed out cold with a migraine the size of Texas by 2 p.m. I'm not proud of this.
Posted by jonniker | February 4, 2009 10:16 AM
I'm also very recently back on coffee. It does make the tired feel so much more manageable.
Posted by twirl | February 4, 2009 10:17 AM
Oh well, you know, you'll be able to kick your old habit again when the children are older. I drink two cups a day. MAX. Usually I've had both cups before 10 AM. And the rest of the day I drink tea.
I am impressed that you can threaten Chris with no sex for a week. That will not impress FreezeM. LOL!
Has Owen been talking to Roo? It's been the same her. Waking up at night, crying, drooling, hungry..
Posted by Nadine | February 4, 2009 10:23 AM
Just give in and do the meth. You get really skinny.
Posted by k8 | February 4, 2009 10:31 AM
Wow. I've never drunk coffee, but your description makes me want to start. I could use a day like that.
Posted by Amy | February 4, 2009 10:34 AM
Tea is my vice. I like a good coffee every now and again, but without my tea I'm useless.
Posted by Michelle | February 4, 2009 10:35 AM
I drink my single little cup of coffee every day, and I'm not at all willing to go without it, nor do I feel the slightest bit guilty about it.
My husband, on the other hand, is a multiple-cup a day (I don't even know how many anymore, but he's willing to drink work coffee, so it must be pretty bad) drinker. His sleep-in day is Saturday, and I have to make sure to wake him up and get coffee in him before 9 or I know the day will just go to shit.
Posted by heels | February 4, 2009 12:21 PM
You kicked coffee AND smoking? AND have kids?
I can't even conceive of that. You clearly have superpowers, and not just those 'spontaneously reproducing' once like I got saddled with.
Posted by Mr Lady | February 4, 2009 12:32 PM
I've never liked coffee, but think I might have to just force it down if it means less tired and more work done. Sheesh, I don't even have kids and I'm tired.
Posted by Dianna | February 4, 2009 1:30 PM
Wow! We have the same magical psychic pixies. They also pick up wet towel and socks that get strewn about.
After watching my husband feed his morning addictions of coffee and nicotine I am thankful every day that I never liked the taste of coffee and kicked cigarettes years ago.
Posted by Kelly | February 4, 2009 1:40 PM
At one point in college, I was so hooked on caffeine I almost impaired my ability to function. I clearly remember realizing halfway through a study session that I had the shakes because I had consumed a 2-liter of Mt. Dew. I, too, kicked caffeine with my first pregnancy. I went the whole Caffeine-Free Coca-Cola route. Trick the brain, and all. I didn't do too badly until the real sleep deprivation kicked in once Zoe was born. It was then I realized that a little to function wasn't a bad thing.
I did not quit caffeine with #2. Probably not the best idea, because now? With 2? I'm becoming seriously dependent. Not just a little here or there. I've been up since 2:30 this morning, and got to work by 7. A colleague said, "Gee - you look pretty bright-eyed!" Yeah - 32-oz. of Wild Cherry Pepsi will do that.
Posted by kate | February 4, 2009 2:35 PM
Welcome back to the good life. Coffee is the elixir of the gods as far as I am concerned. I cut back for the past few years due to preggo/nursing, but I am looking forward to the days of reckless abandonment with my favorite drug.
Posted by phoebe | February 4, 2009 2:41 PM
I have given up the cigarettes but the coffee... never.
Posted by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | February 4, 2009 3:02 PM
I love me some Diet Coke. I drank far too much in college and after, and gave it up before getting pregnant and stayed off it until I stopped nursing (no idea how I did that since I was getting NO sleep). One a day soon became two which became 2 20oz bottles a day. And I sleep like crap now so then I need more to keep me awake. It's a bad cycle but I just love the taste. My day is better when it starts with one. I don't smoke or drink coffee or drink much alcohol or eat chocolate so I figure everyone gets one thing and this is mine.
Posted by Laura | February 4, 2009 4:05 PM
I gave up caffeine totally for both pregnancies and for breastfeeding. But when I had #2 two months ago there was a sweet ass coffee on my tray in the hospital - and I drank the damn thing. And each day now I drink at one coffee before I switch to decaf.
Both times I got off the juice, it was like being on a massive drug withdrawl. I had the shakes for days on end.
Posted by SleepyNita | February 5, 2009 1:23 AM
I've never been a coffee drinker and oh do I wish I were! So I congratulate you! And hey, you're not having any more kids so you won't have to quit eventually :-)
And congrats on the smoking--yeah, that's gone for good.
Posted by samantha jo campen | February 5, 2009 10:49 AM
I go in coffee cycles. I drink it until I need a whole (4-cup) pot and still don't feel anything---and then, because I don't feel anything, I just stop and no big deal. And then one day I dust off the coffee pot and make a single cup, and I'm all, "WHY DON'T I HAVE A COFFEE *HAT* WITH TWO MUGS AND TWO STRAWS IN IT???"
Posted by Swistle | February 5, 2009 11:42 AM
Mmm coffee. I love coffee. I spend a lot of time scheming how I'm going to get my next cup. I plan errands around the special event of Starbucks/Dunn Brothers/ Borders Cafe. Even with my obsession, I only drink a couple cups a day.
Posted by Lisa | February 5, 2009 5:53 PM