1. Leave me a comment saying you want to be interviewed. (I'll take the first ten or so.)
2. I’ll email you five questions of my choosing.
3. You update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. They will answer these questions. If they don’t, you can post naked pictures of them on the internet. (I can help with the Photoshopping.)
The following is courtesy of Sir Jason.
How do you maintain your sanity when surrounded by so much bodily fluid and knowing, every morning, that your day will involve various combinations of poop and boogers?
Let's see, so far today (and as I type this is it just past 8 AM) I have wiped two snotty noses on my sleeve, changed one poopy diaper, fished bits of partially-chewed orange out of Mia's mouth when she decided it was no longer to her liking and threw a screaming hissy fit about it and oh yes, had to take a break from typing this sentence to wipe up a puddle of yogurt/grape/cheerio vomit. Quiet morning, then. It just... isn't an issue. And while there are certainly days where I think if I have to deal with one more poopy diaper I am going to go well and fully around the bend, and I try to avoid changing the diapers of other peoples' children, when they are your own kids you just get inured to it.
Also, we used to have cats, and I had to deal with their poop every day of their lives. At least the kids will someday require no poop intervention from me.
What did you do before you were hired as a full-time mom and do you ever miss the other job?
I worked for the first company to sell retail internet service. Then I worked for the company that bought them and stayed through what was at the time the largest-ever case of corporate fraud leading to the largest-ever corporate bankruptcy. I mean, we handed those guys at Enron their asses on a silver platter. Looks like we have since been bumped down to third, but that record stood for six years. (God, that was a miserable time.) Then I worked there when they changed the name to the name of one of the large companies they had acquired along the way and left just before they were purchased by the former-Baby-Bell-turned-telecom-behemoth.
Anyway, I started off in Billing managing "major accounts," which at the time meant anybody who bought a T3, which retailed for $54,000 a month. Now they run you about three grand. Then I moved to Sales and did Project Management, which was part flunky, part making decisions well above my pay grade, lots of process improvement and sales rep training and putting out fires (if all else fails, pee on it). After the bankruptcy I bounced around a bit and had three or four jobs in the space of a year and then ended up doing what I had started out doing for the same sales team and I never once had to move out of my office. I loved that office. I haven't missed the job for a hot second.
How does your current life differ from what 10-year old you thought you'd be doing?
When I was ten, I thought I was going to be a professional poet. A good one. Like, a Nobel Laureate by the time I was 30. I'm a lousy poet. I also was convinced that I would be finished having my four kids by the time I was 30, and instead I had my first when I was 30.
Or else I was going to be an astronomer.
What were the best and worst experiences you've had via your blog?
I haven't had any really bad experiences via my blog, although other people's blogs have occasionally ruined my day. The first few trolls were a little rough on the psyche, but after enough of them they just start to seem funny.
Best experiences are all the times I've posted that one of my children turned bright purple with green spots and then started speaking in tongues and had all the lovely, wonderful internet people tell me that a) their kid did the same thing, b) it didn't last forever, and c) it is not strictly the result of my incompetent mothering.
Although tied with that are the comments and emails I have gotten who said they got some degree of relief or comfort or reassurance or just a laugh when they really needed one from some stupid thing I wrote here. The internet totally rocks, man. Except for when it sucks.
What question do you wish I'd asked, but didn't and how would you have answered?
Q. What's the best thing you've seen on the internet of late?