WHEREAS Owen is approaching thirteen months old; and
WHEREAS he has taken a grand total of five steps; and
WHEREAS those five steps consisted of two instances of a single step and one instance of a series of three steps; and
WHEREAS he has henceforth exhibited not the least bit of interest in walking; and
WHEREAS it is clearly preferable to have Mommy carry you everywhere you want to go and Mia run and fetch anything you point to while screaming;
It is THEREFORE determined that Owen is:
a) a baby, age notwithstanding
b) a toddler, lack of toddling notwithstanding
c) a baddler
d) a grumpy little monkey
e) able to clear a three mile are with the smells emanating from his bottom
(This is a bit of a trick question, as d and e are both unequivocally true. Also, I used to be a paralegal.)
Comments (10)
f: Outsmarting you?
Posted by Mr Lady | February 26, 2009 2:45 PM
I'm going with f.
Posted by Shelly | February 26, 2009 2:48 PM
I once had a rather pudgy kiddo too and my pediatrician told me that as long as he could a) take steps *if he wanted to*, and b) stand *if he wanted to*, then he would eventually walk, *when he wanted to*.
This child was 20lbs at 3 months, nicknamed Jabba-da-Hutt, and eventually did walk (more than a step here and there) -- at 16 months, when his big brother caught on to the run-and-fetch game and Mommy was plumb worn out from carrying a 40+ lb 15 month old!
btw- he's 22, 6'5.5", 165 lbs and wears a size 15 shoe now :)
Posted by 3jaysmom | February 26, 2009 3:06 PM
All of the above?
Posted by sherri | February 26, 2009 4:16 PM
I just had horrible flashbacks to my legal secretary days.
Posted by Kelly | February 26, 2009 4:42 PM
I'd use your whereas-es in a concurrent resolution and add:
Now, therefore be it
Resolved by Beth Fish (Chris Cactus concurring) That the Fish-Cactus household --
(1) recognizes the cuteness of even the grumpiest of monkeys;
(2) honors the ability to produce powerful smells;
(3) directs Bump and Lumpyhead's Mom to drink more beer; and
(4) congratulates Owen Fish-Cactus for taking his own sweet time.
What? I wanted an earmark.
Posted by lumpyheadsmom | February 26, 2009 4:49 PM
I am so amused by Owen, as my son took his first steps (walked across the room like a professional) at 14.5 months, and then didn't even stand independently nor take steps again until 16 months, and now at 16.5 months can only be coaxed to walk with proper incentive (i.e. playing with a Blackberry or iPhone). He can, however, walk all over the damn house if said Blackberry is held just inches from his grasp. I have a 6 week old as well, so I REALLY want him to walk now!
Posted by Joceline | February 26, 2009 6:22 PM
g) defies labels? ;)
Posted by Heather | February 26, 2009 8:06 PM
or a debate team member. Was waiting on "be it then resolved..."
*hangs head in shame*
Posted by Pammer | February 27, 2009 12:08 PM
I'm going with F as well.
Posted by Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com | February 27, 2009 7:53 PM