so the fish said...
  home links archives about contact

« Wishing my DVR had a "Play All" function | Main | The Internet is my Moral Compass »

Multiple Choice

WHEREAS Owen is approaching thirteen months old; and

WHEREAS he has taken a grand total of five steps; and

WHEREAS those five steps consisted of two instances of a single step and one instance of a series of three steps; and

WHEREAS he has henceforth exhibited not the least bit of interest in walking; and

WHEREAS it is clearly preferable to have Mommy carry you everywhere you want to go and Mia run and fetch anything you point to while screaming;

It is THEREFORE determined that Owen is:

a) a baby, age notwithstanding
b) a toddler, lack of toddling notwithstanding
c) a baddler
d) a grumpy little monkey
e) able to clear a three mile are with the smells emanating from his bottom

(This is a bit of a trick question, as d and e are both unequivocally true. Also, I used to be a paralegal.)

Comments (10)

f: Outsmarting you?

I'm going with f.

I once had a rather pudgy kiddo too and my pediatrician told me that as long as he could a) take steps *if he wanted to*, and b) stand *if he wanted to*, then he would eventually walk, *when he wanted to*.

This child was 20lbs at 3 months, nicknamed Jabba-da-Hutt, and eventually did walk (more than a step here and there) -- at 16 months, when his big brother caught on to the run-and-fetch game and Mommy was plumb worn out from carrying a 40+ lb 15 month old!

btw- he's 22, 6'5.5", 165 lbs and wears a size 15 shoe now :)

All of the above?

I just had horrible flashbacks to my legal secretary days.

I'd use your whereas-es in a concurrent resolution and add:

Now, therefore be it
Resolved by Beth Fish (Chris Cactus concurring) That the Fish-Cactus household --
(1) recognizes the cuteness of even the grumpiest of monkeys;
(2) honors the ability to produce powerful smells;
(3) directs Bump and Lumpyhead's Mom to drink more beer; and
(4) congratulates Owen Fish-Cactus for taking his own sweet time.

What? I wanted an earmark.

I am so amused by Owen, as my son took his first steps (walked across the room like a professional) at 14.5 months, and then didn't even stand independently nor take steps again until 16 months, and now at 16.5 months can only be coaxed to walk with proper incentive (i.e. playing with a Blackberry or iPhone). He can, however, walk all over the damn house if said Blackberry is held just inches from his grasp. I have a 6 week old as well, so I REALLY want him to walk now!

g) defies labels? ;)

or a debate team member. Was waiting on "be it then resolved..."

*hangs head in shame*

I'm going with F as well.

Post a Comment

Remember personal info?

So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

World's Most Beautiful Child


World's Most Handsome Child


Other Important Things

Clive Owen

Clive Owen
Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend

RSS Syndicate this site (XML)

Design by Emily

© Copyright 2004
All Rights Reserved.