A thirteen month old baby is like that really bad boyfriend you had back when you were young and stupid.
You know, the one who you made him all his favorite foods for dinner and he just threw it on the floor and yelled at you and then never even apologized because he'd had a long day or something so you were supposed to understand. And then he walks off to play his
xylophone Nintendo while you clean up the mess.
The one who never had any money, so every time you go out you have to pay for everything. And soon you are buying him clothes and shoes and a new
The one who you don't hear from all evening and then there he is at midnight wanting to hop into bed with you and he's saying "Come on, we'll just cuddle" but you know as soon as he is there he's going to be grabbing your boobs all night.
The one who won't keep his hands off of you, and at first you thought it was cute but eventually you want to say "Dude, we are in the middle of the grocery store. Could you keep your hands out of my bra for ten minutes?"
And he won't let you see your friends, and when you try he always comes along and behaves so badly that you have to leave. He won't even let you talk to them on the phone. As soon as you try he's all wanting to talk to you or he needs you to
change his diaper iron his shirt and then he screams at you for no reason for hours and by the time he storms off to bed and goes to sleep it is too late to call back.
And he's always getting into trouble and calling you to bail him out. Like, Hey,
Mama Baby, I climbed up onto the kitchen table crashed my car again and I don't know how to get down I'm a little drunk, so can you come help me out here? And as soon as you help him, he doesn't even say thank you but just does the exact same thing again and you have to save his ass again.
And every time you are ready to throw in the towel, you think but he needs me, and just yesterday he brought me
a chunk of banana that he chewed and then spit out and then crammed in my mouth before I noticed what he was doing flowers, and he smells so good, and before you know it your resolve is gone and you are there for years.
But with the bad boyfriend, you know that as soon as you kick him out he's just going to do it again to the next girl. The baby you can at least insure that he will never be anybody's really bad boyfriend again.