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Groupthink Gardening

Number One:

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Number Two:

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For each plant pictured, please select the appropriate response:

  1. Those are weeds, dumbshit. Pull them.
  2. Those are weeds, but not horrible, ugly, take over the yard overnight weeds. You should pull them, but work on that stupid mint whatever and the fucking creeper that keeps coming over the fence from the woods first.
  3. Those are weeds, but they look nice enough. Leave them
  4. Those are beautiful, highly-prized, well-cultivated plants for which I am about to tell you the full Latin names. Don't you dare touch them, and I don't even want to know how many you yanked out last summer.
  5. Those aren't weeds, but they sure are ugly. Pull them and put in an azalea or something.
  6. Damn, your ass looks good today. You must have lost at least six pounds in the last two weeks, and I, for one, would like to take this opportunity to heartily congratulate you and offer you some of my special secret stash of calorie-free brownies and wine.

Comments (46)

#6 for sure!! :)

Wow you made that easy... #6!!!!

Definitely #6...

#6, and I'll be checking back to see if smarter people than I have answered. That top one looks familiar from my own yard.

FWIW, I pull it out, but I don't have a damn clue what it is.

2 and 6. Though, as a warning, the upkeep on the mint may well kill you. It's hardy, and evil.

I always wait for things to bloom before I decide whether or not they are weeds. I mean, a "weed" is just something YOU don't want in your garden. So its worth giving the leafy things a chance to prove themselves. Also, you have until they go to seed to decide if you don't want them to spread; and by then you'll know what type of flower they have.

oh, sorry, I have to pick a number... well, #6 !

#6, definitely. Though I'm pretty sure I've seen the top try to take over a yard or two.

First, the answer is ALWAYS #6.

But remember what a weed is: It is ANY plant where you don't want it. Yes, it could be a highly expensive, prized whatever, but if it is in the way, then it is a weed.

How's that for a non-answer.

pull out one of each and ask someone at the nursery? (the plant nursery, not a baby nursery:)

well of course 6, but i'm still searching for the calorie free brownies and wine (can i get carb-free, too, please? since my asthma medicine makes my blood sugar high?)
our tiny yard full of weeds would make you feel better about your yard, for sure. i wish more people wanted moss and clover lawns. couldn't that get kind of trendy? :)

I vote 2 & 6

CLEARLY, number 6 is the correct answer. And I have clue about the plants. Everything I touch keels over and turns brown.

Well totally #6! But really though, I'm thinking #4 for group 1 and #1 for group 2. The ones in group 2 are weeds, we have them here as well. In group one, they are not weeds but I certainally cannot tell you what they are.

Dang computer ate my response!

Or if not this will magically appear twice.
The first is a salvia of some sort. It is put in gardens because butterflies, bees and hummingbirds love it. So you get the flying flowers around it. ;) But it is related to mint and invasive shit. If you don't love it be very agressive in getting rid of it. (It moves by runners)

The second I don't have any idea, it looks like a grass but unless it gives a really pretty display in the fall, poof balls or something I'd rip it out.

Oh and #6

Definitely #6, I'm glad you made that easy! I'm pretty sure #2 is a weed, it looks really similar to one we have here, and #1 I have a strong suspicion of weediness too - it looks like one of the "what kind of goat do I have to sacrifice to the lawn gods to make these die" kind of plants, but I'm not positive. So I'll just stick with #6 and let you decide. ;-)

That first thing looks like basil to me, but I'm guessing it doesn't smell like basil, or you wouldn't be asking.

Did you try smoking it?

It also resembles a weed that thrives in our community garden. If it's what I think it is, it pulls out pretty easily, even when it grows over four feet high (ahem, not that I would know about that from experience), but you should wear gloves to pull it out because the stems can tear the shit out of your hands. Especially if you've got sixty square feet of garden covered with it. Ahem.

The second looks like a wild grass to me. Again, did you try smoking it? Does it send out runners, or is each little clump an individual?

#6 very clearly #6
My FAVORITE thing that a new neighbor left to grow in his flower bed,not knowing if it was a weed or a rare exotic plant, nurturing and watering daily until it bloomed or did something else interesting....was a corn stalk. By the time he had me come to see what kind of plant it was it was 6ft high. It was great!
He pulled it though when I identified it and didn't wait for it to manufacture a corn cob. (sigh)
I agree that the first thing looks like basil. The second thing is almost certainly a weed. Did you have that bed last year? And did you plant anything that should look like that? If not, it's a weed. Says 20+ years of gardening and still got fooled by certain weeds EVERY friggin spring. LOL

#6 if course but they closely resemble what we refer to as "weeds" in our garden so I'd pull 'em

Um, #6 OBVIOUSLY.

#6 for sure.

Also, that's mint? Truly? It looked like basil to me, but obviously I know nothing about mint. I want to plant mint along my front fence where it can run wild and annoy no one.

The first one sort of looks like echinacea. If it is, it will get pretty tall and bloom a beautiful flower in a few weeks.

The second, I have no clue.

So the only answer that truly fits would have to be #6!

That was easy...#6

One of my favourite gardening books defined weeds as any kind of plant that isn't in a place that you want it. Therefore (squirm, squirm, weasel, weasel), if it makes you happy where it is, leave it! If not, yank it (to wit: my neighbour across the street just hacked & yanked four perfectly healthy and beautiful CEDAR bushes from their front yard)

Also, you neglected to include a photo of your ass, so I can only assume it is indeed looking fine and whole-heartedly invite you to partake in the wine/brownie combo with me. Here, I'll start.

6 definitely wins.

I can't even begin to comment on the weeds or no weeds. I've always had a self-proclaimed black thumb. I think it may be getting better, though!

My husband bought a plant about 6 months ago and I'm proud to report, it's the first plant I haven't killed.

About 3 months ago I saw these great little cacti in the store and I haven't killed those yet, either.

Baby steps.

duh, 6!

re plants - second one looks pretty. first one looks minty.

yeah, I'm a mine of info!

The first looks like a type of primrose that we have in our garden - I could be wrong, but see if it blooms...

#6!

And an explanation of how you accomplished this feat since clearly your methods are way better than mine.

Weeds? I have a backyard full of them. Can't help you there. Sorry.

#6 obviously, thanks for making that so easy for those of us who know nothing about making green things grow.

For both photos, number 3.

(Although, I am curious about one poster's thought that plant Number One is a salvia. I can totally see that, I think, except that I thought all salvia were annuals, so they wouldn't be growing there unless you planted them. [Do you need a mini gardening lesson? Annual=only grows one year, you have to plant it each year; think imaptiens, marigolds, cheap crap in 6-packs at Lowe's. Perennial=grows back every year, often thicker and nicer with time; this is totally the way to go. Little maintenance, they are always full and beautiful by the time you are in the clear to plant the stupid annuals, so why bother with annuals?] Anyhow, maybe salvia are just annuals in my climate, but I am in Pittsburgh which is not very different at all from DC climate, so I just can't see how that could be a salvia! But if it is, I totally love salvia! But, again, notice that response number 3 is that they are (probably) weeds, but so what?! LEAVE them! I personally love a full, abundant, wild-looking landscape, as long as the weeds are not the jaggy-as-shit fuckers that grow in my front garden. If a child fell into those, there would be hell to pay.)

Response number 6: not possible. If I had such a stash, my ass wouldn't bang into my thighs when I try to "jog."

Clearly, the votes for #6 have it.

As for the plants, I agree that #1 is very likely something in the mint family (to include salivia and basil). As others have noted, it doesn't care if you had one tiny plant 10 feet away from its current spot last summer. Many varieties of mint will happily thrive no matter what the conditions. We've had an ever-growing patch next to our driveway for 3 years now...all from one little plant - in a pot - that my father-in-law left sitting there for a few weeks. If you like it, keep it. Otherwise, I don't know how to get rid of it without lotsa icky chemicals, which is the route my otherwise organic self chose this spring.

Hey, this is just like the rousing game of "planted on purpose or weed?" that I played in my own garden on Saturday. Actual conversation with my neighbor "hey, what's the bright green ground cover you've got in the front there?" Me: "I have no idea, but it looks pretty, so I leave it alone."

And damn, your ass does look good today.

Thank heaven for option #6!

So, what are they, really?

I'm not sure what those plants are from the pictures. I follow a wait and see with stuff that appears in my garden as I'm bad about remembering what I put where. As far as #1 goes, the easy way to tell if it is in the mint family is to check the stem. Is it square? If so, then yes it is in the mint family, so no point trying to get rid of it because you will lose.

And of course, #6 :)

#6 totally

#5 for sure. I would venture to add #6 as well, but hey, we haven't met, so can't say for sure.

Ditch the plant/weed/thingys. Plant pretty flowers instead.

how about...
i don't know if those are weeds, but they look an awful lot like what has taken over every bit of intentional planting in my back yard that, when i attempted to pull the other day, gave me a rash up my entire right arm.

and your butt looks wonderful. ;)

Appropriate response? From me? lol Right.

I have no idea what the hell it is, but I'd pull it and slap some turf over it and call it good! I'm not much into guessing what is what. If I want something that is going to flower, I buy it, slap it in the ground, water it and let it do its thing. heh

Number 6, definitely.

Number 6, definitely.

I really think that's basil (or mint) in the first two picks (but if it doesn't smell like basil (or mint) when you've crushed a leaf, forget I said so)

We are playing this game as well! We bought a house in February and are playing the wait and see game. The terraced garden area is fairly "natural" and there are things that I would have ripped out long ago, except that they are flowering and clustered in spots throughout the garden.

I think Plant #1 is some sort of mint or basil. Those were my first reactions.

Plant #2 Looks like a weed and that son of a gun would be gone in a heartbeat if it was in my garden.

And yes, your ass is totally smokin' today! Wow!

#6 because you're ass looks mighty fine ;-)

Also, I garden by sniff test. :-) I can't work with photographs. Sorry.

The first one makes bright yellow flowers later in the spring/summer - i have them in my yard. They are "weed like" but pretty. I'd leave them for some color. I hope you didn't pull them already!

looks like basil and tarragon to me...but 6 is the obvious choice.

looks like basil and tarragon to me...but 6 is the obvious choice.

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