Hey! Do you guys want to hear all about my new diet in total and excruciating detail! Ok then, moving along.
No wait, we're not moving along. I'm hungry, and I can either sit here and tell you about it or go into the kitchen and snarf the rest of the children's Easter Candy. Guess which one I pick? Yup, settle in people.
Anyway, it's Day 4 of my Hey, I Finally Weaned the Baby/I'm Going to the Beach in Two Months/Oh My God I Happened to Look Down While I Was Driving and Vowed to Never Eat Again Diet, and I haven't gone on a shooting spree yet, so looking good. Except that you already know I am some sort of gun-hating hippie who would like to collect all the guns the whole world over and melt them down and turn them into public art installations and playgrounds, so by "I haven't gone on a shooting spree" I mean "my husband is still speaking to me."
And! I think some guy maybe almost checked me out a little bit at the grocery store today! Which I am officially Opposed to On Principle, but which can also be something of a confidence booster on Day 4 of your new Lifetime Healthy Eating Plan ha ha right stupid fucking diet where the hell did I hide the pudding cups? Oh, and they guy was TOTALLY old too, I mean, probably FIFTY, at least, so does that even count???
Sorry, I crack myself up sometimes. I had a conversation with Sarah a while ago about how hitting the mid-thirties makes forty seem like this totally reasonable and still entirely young age instead of, you know, FORTY. And I find that I am starting to feel the same way about fifty. I mean, I'm quite happy that fifty is still a long way away, but it doesn't seem as ominous as it did ten years ago. Pretty soon, I'll be going man, eighty sounds like a blast, doesn't it?
And wait, weren't we discussing my
smokin' fat ass? Why yes, yes I believe we were. And I really did have a point here, or rather, a question. I've never done much dieting, what with being young and genetically lucky in the metabolism department and then pregnant and then nursing and then whoops, pregnant again and whatnot, so I'm a little inexperienced.
How much would you expect to lose in two months of dieting? I mean, everyone is different, of course, and there really is no predicting, but if you personally were on a low-fat, low-carb, low-calorie, Not Starvation But Certainly Rather Hungry diet with moderate daily exercise, what would your goal beach weight be two months hence?