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I'm boring. Don't say I didn't warn you.

My new iPhone just left Anchorage! The kids and I will be sitting at home all day tomorrow awaiting delivery. Did you know that new iPhones are being individually FedEx'd from Shenzen, China? It seems like there should be some more efficient way to do that, doesn't it? Like ship them all to Duluth and then go from there?

I was thinking that I was finally going to be ever so slightly cool with my fancy new iPhone, but then my twelve year old babysitter told me that most of her friends have iPhones. To which I replied "Are you fucking kidding me?" so now I need a new babysitter as soon as she tells her mother. But that is ridiculous, yes? And also proves that I am still not cool, but at least I have the new one and most of the twelve year olds probably have the old model.

But the thing that does make me cool is that I finally have some lovely, amazing, hard-core drugs for the fucking miserable dyshidrosis on my hands, and it took all of a day and a half to give me a new lease on life. If I ever start to waver on the third child thing, I think I will just have to remind myself about the possibility of another two years of my hands turning to hamburger with no access to steroids and that will cure me. I've even been wearing my wedding ring, which I haven't done for more than an hour at a stretch since I was five months pregnant with Owen. The dermatologist even told me that if it gets really bad again, I can go in for a shot of prednisone. My response was "You know, that is the hottest thing anyone has ever said to me." People are no longer eyeing my hands and sheltering their children when they see me in public, and it makes me happy.

(Every time I mention the dyshidrosis, I get a couple of helpful and kind emails from people sending me the same two or three links to non-steroid treatment options with the sometimes veiled and sometimes blatant expression of horror that I would even consider steroids when a couple of nice herbs would clear me right up. And I appreciate that you people are so kind and so helpful, but I had 20 solid months of this crap without a single day of relief while pregnant and breastfeeding so therefore banned from steroids. I tried that. I tried that too. Yes, I promise you, I even tried that. Holistic, organic, ancient Chinese secret, crackpot, potentially dangerous, just plain stupid, I was desperate and I tried them all. I'm blissfully happy with the drugs.)

Comments (17)

I constantly tell my husband I would leave him for the iphone. You better warn Chris. If he doesn't do that um, thing, he has been promising.

OMG I Googled it and then I clicked image search and then I saw a very scary picture of a dishydrosis-y penis. THANKS.

oh, god, just take the drugs!

and i mean that in an eff what anyone else says kind of way

You have dishydrotic eczema? My Son was diagnosed with it a few months back and he is miserable. He's 5 years old and the dishydrosis takes a lot of fun away from him. I was wondering what's working for you! We were told not to use steroids because they supposedly don't work.

Ew! That's gotta be rough. Jake and I are going to the dermatologist Friday to have his scalp checked out, because he has some nasty skin condition on his head. So lovely when you're 13 and want to pick up girls. He was BORN with it.

I wonder if they'll give him drugs too. Or me, maybe. LOL.

Hi, delurking here to let you know how EFFING jealous I am that you get an iphone... I have to wait until my contract is up in December before I am as lucky as you!
But I'm not jealous of your dishydrosis so maybe we're even... just maybe!

I'm glad you are finally getting some relief.

I'm no longer cool. I still have the first generation iPhone.

I may have mentioned this before, but my wife has the same problem. It took about 6 months out of diapers and her hands cleared up to pre-kid health. Summertime is a bit worse because of the constant water and other summertime busy-ness, but it's nothing like it was before when she wore cotton gloves all of the time.

Best of luck. Have Chris change all of the diapers when he's home, I'm sure he'll love that!

What about Vaseline Intesive Care? Ya TOTALLY kidding. (Besides, even if I wasn't you may as well just use butter. Regular, cow-boob butter is less greasy than VIC.)

I got a blackberry just before my oldest's ninth birthday. I asked her what she wanted for said birthday and she said "Blackberry". I said "No effin way". She said "Well then, when? For my twelfth birthday?" My instinct was again "no effin way", but I had to say "we'll just wait and see what the world is like then" Dear FSM! A twelve-year-old with an iPhone? (I hope that sentiment doesn't sound old and stodgy in two and a half years!)

I just got my husband the new iPhone for father's day and I want one now. I hope you enjoy yours!

I just got my husband the new iPhone for father's day and I want one now. I hope you enjoy yours!

I just got my husband the new iPhone for father's day and I want one now. I hope you enjoy yours!

I got my very first iPhone on Friday! It's my beautiful precious and I do not like when I cannot spend every waking second playing with it.

Also, just so y'all know, you can download a free app called My Vibe. It's...exactly what it sounds like.

I love my iPhone, and its even the old model (I get all my husbands hand me down techie toys, but I still feel cool...

And i hear ya on the babysitter stuff - our last sitter, who was a high school senior, could never be here because she was always in Europe or on a ski trip or some other thing I myself couldn't afford to do. Yeah....we live in snoburbia, Beth!!! Have you seen this blog?

Fucking Hilarious.

I had to laugh at your "Holistic, organic, ancient Chinese secret, crackpot, potentially dangerous, just plain stupid, I was desperate and I tried them all." I have done the same for my horrible insomnia, and now take Lunesta and sleep at night. Yet, every once in awhile, some helpful person will tell me something about warm milk, melatonin, or, my personal favorite, "thinking really serene thoughts". I'll take the drugs, thanks!

Yeah for the steriods! Believe me, I am all for trying non-drug/mild drug remedies for stuff as opposed to jumping directly to the hard stuff, but you've exhausted the other options and it's time to kick the damned dyshidrosis.

I bought an iPod Touch last weekend, which is essentially just the iPhone with no phone service anyway, and I am loving it! Hoss was totally unimpressed when I told him about it, then I let him touch the screen. He was no longer unimpressed. So, the eight-year-olds of the world still think we are cool.

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So the Fish Said...

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