Have an almost-five-year-old that you want to convince you are the coolest person on the planet? Just follow these simple steps:
- Get a raging UTI. At midnight, of course. Send your poor husband to the 24-hour drugstore at 4 AM with instructions to
smash the pharmacy window and steal all the antibiotics he can findget whatever he can find that has cranberry juice it in. - Start taking cranberry and some other shit too but who cares because oh my hell this sucks pills that turn your pee orange.
- See your doctor and score a prescription for sweet, sweet antibiotics and something or other else that turns your pee red.
- Invite the almost-five-year-old into the bathroom to admire your hot pink pee.
Ta-da!
Comments (13)
OMG! Freakin' been there!!! UTI's are the WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unbelievable and what mother has time to be running to the flippin' potty every 30 seconds? I sooooo hope you are feeling better. Those antibiotics kick in real quick with UTI's!!!!!!!!
Posted by Luvily | May 27, 2010 3:24 PM
Works every time!
Posted by Maribeth | May 27, 2010 3:34 PM
I so hope you feel better soon! UTI's are the absolute worst. I am normally the nicest person in the world to customer service people/people on the phone, and I actually yelled at my doctor's on call physician one time when she refused to call in an antibiotic for me late at night over Thanksgiving weekend and I was in agony from a UTI. She kept saying she couldn't be sure that's what I had, and I was shrieking back that I had no doubt. My mom's doctor was kind enough to call one in for me so I could avoid the ER (which surely would have cost me $500 minimum with my crappy insurance).
Posted by JCF | May 27, 2010 4:00 PM
Haha colourful! I'd be impressed too ;)
Posted by Heather | May 27, 2010 5:12 PM
Next time skip the UTI altogether and just eat a bunch of beets. Colorful pee and colorful poop! (And "challenge" your kid(s) to a race to see whose pee turns pink the quickest after eating beets. It's science!)
Posted by nrbp | May 27, 2010 10:55 PM
Ouch!
Posted by Heather | May 28, 2010 12:21 AM
I feel for you Beth. I get them easily, what cured me was drinking Cranberry Juice every am with breakfast. The last UTI that I got was in London that about did me in.
Posted by One Mom's Opinion | May 28, 2010 10:40 AM
Ouch! I feel for ya.
Kids are so easily impressed.
Of course, when I was 18 I had some weird medicine that made my pee look like a sunset. I swear. Maybe you could try to find that.
Posted by debb | May 28, 2010 11:03 AM
UTIs are the WORST!
But - um - hot pink pee? That's just cool!
Feel better!
Posted by Mindy | May 28, 2010 12:31 PM
I've had some luck with this stuff:
http://www.azoproducts.com/products/azo_cranberry
In fact, I had some luck with it two days ago, when I had the same middle of the night screaming UTI you describe. (Seriously, when you're peeing and biting nearby towels in an attempt not to scream.) I already had it in the house so I took two doses before I got to the doctor the next morning...peeing was actually tolerable by the time I got there.
Posted by Danell | May 28, 2010 9:27 PM
HA! Next time invite her for the sans-asparagus smell!
Posted by Aimee Greeblemonkey | May 29, 2010 2:38 AM
I actually had plans for the weekend, but I'll go ahead and cancel them in order to start working on ways to infect my urinary tract.
I think I might get in trouble when I get to the part about showing a 5-year old my pee, though. You may be setting me up for jail time, there.
Posted by You can call me, 'Sir' | May 29, 2010 10:37 AM
Sorry. They are teh suck in the worst way. I had one not that long ago that hurt so bad, I was eating percs like pez until the doctor called the antibiotics in for me. It beat getting orange stains all over my underwear.
Posted by statia | May 31, 2010 8:50 AM