Have an almost-five-year-old that you want to convince you are the coolest person on the planet? Just follow these simple steps:
- Get a raging UTI. At midnight, of course. Send your poor husband to the 24-hour drugstore at 4 AM with instructions to
smash the pharmacy window and steal all the antibiotics he can findget whatever he can find that has cranberry juice it in.
- Start taking cranberry and some other shit too but who cares because oh my hell this sucks pills that turn your pee orange.
- See your doctor and score a prescription for sweet, sweet antibiotics and something or other else that turns your pee red.
- Invite the almost-five-year-old into the bathroom to admire your hot pink pee.