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Apropos of nothing, including itself:

I have new favorite Bad Baby Names, given to children I have personally met in the past two weeks: Canyon and Fable. Canyon. Fable. Now, I clearly prefer very traditional names myself (hello, Amelia and Owen), however, I am willing to walk pretty far down the road of It Is All A Matter of Personal Taste. But I'm sorry. I would give up on that road and hail a cab for Target long, long before I got to Canyon and Fable as appropriate names for human beings. A yellow lab and a standard poodle, sure, but someday those adorable, charming little children are going to be grown up people submitting resumes and I just can't get behind it. You tell me though, charming? Edgy? Modern? Or just bad? (Decorum prevented me from begging to know the name of Fable's older sister, and you'd better believe I am still kicking myself for not finding out.)

I cut my hair a couple of weeks ago. It is to mid-neck now with a little bit of layering and was a chop of about seven inches when all was said and done. I keep meaning to post a picture, but I hate all but about three pictures ever taken of me. And I feel like that is a typically boring stupid female thing to say, and I am trying to be one of those women who just smiles for the camera and doesn't worry about it and looks lovely, but then I see the picture and I wonder who attacked it with an Uglystick filter. I think the problem is that I actually have a good opinion of myself, appearance wise. Sure, these days I'd always like to lose a couple of pounds, but I do understand that I'm a size six and thinner than average, and when looking in the mirror if forced to articulate an opinion I would say that even after five years of sleep-deprivation I am better than average looking, but man do I hate pictures. I don't know if I am too harsh or photograph badly or just don't like to confront the harsh reality of what I really look like that I don't see while looking in the mirror, but that is why you don't have a picture of my new hair. Which is too bad, really, because I am loving it hard.

Mia is just about two weeks into to swim team, and this kid is blowing my mind. She is the youngest by over a year and the smallest by at least four inches and damn but if she isn't in there every day swimming her heart out, lap after lap, and listening to the coaches and working hard and improving by the day and all-out loving it. This is the kid who whines for an hour if you cut her pancake too small in the morning or ask her to pick up her own shoes and carry them three feet to the closet, but she works her little butt off at swim team and talks for the rest of the day about how much she loves it. And yeah, most days I feel like I have to just lie down on the pool deck and die of pride, because that little peanut over there showing the eight-year-olds how it is done is my kid, and she rocks.

Living with Owen these days is like lolcats made flesh. My can has doot dack, he says. My can has appa juitch. And if I say no? Yetch, I can has, he screams. He has a pink sponge he got from my mother in law that he calls his spongebob. He has a set of blocks that can be hooked together in a circle and he walks around the house saying he is Handy Manny and asking us to admire his seatbelt. He is at the absolutely infuriating what I hope is the height of his twoness and is frequently impossible to deal with on any level, and at the same moment is so perfectly adorable and charming that I want to smother him in marshmallow and eat him with a spoon.

I miss you guys, I'm hoping this is my comeback.

Comments (27)

"Yetch, I can has" is my absolute favorite! :) Glad you're back to blogging!

Yetch, I can has!

Love it! Glad you're back!

I miss you. I just wanted to say that.

We can has moar Beth? ;) Me likes!

I had to read aloud the Owenspeak to Paul, and we both laughed and repeated our favorite parts to each other for awhile.

I am the same with photos. I think I look pretty cute, and then I see myself in a photo and my heart sinks.

I can't BELIEVE you didn't ask the older sister's name, although I wouldn't have been able to ask either so I guess I CAN in fact believe it.

I named my kids more traditional names, but I have to admit that I like the name Fable. That's the name of the most adorable toddler daughter of Rebecca Woolf at And it just sounds lovely.

Ooooo ME TOO!

Canyon? Really? I am much more for traditional names too. Fable isn't quite so bad but still maybe better as a middle name.

I read you every (very new) husband and I are trying to have a baby (but having problems); we live for your beautiful posts every day. Please don't stop!

The names are awful and the parents should be dragged into the street and beaten.

I'm not a fan of pictures, either. Never have been. I've been told that this is ridiculous and I'm just being a damned fool. I'm inclined to believe them, but it doesn't matter. Neuroses that are buried deep are difficult if not impossible to unearth. So, I'll let others fawn over random snapshots. I hate them all. And I'm not even a chick, though in this way I certainly would make a pretty convincing one, I reckon. Except for the ovaries. I'd need to borrow those.

your paragraph about mia makes my heart hurt :)

I really love that Owen has his own Spongebob...and Mia on the swim team- I think that is the best case scenario for kids/sports. She is having a great (fun!) experience at a young age and I think that is so important. Oh and the names? I am also a 'live and let live' kind of gal but I find Fable to be worse than Canyon. Maybe they will grow up to be writers or rock stars and the names will actually help? I know what you mean about pictures-but post the new 'do anyway :)

Fable and Canyon? I honestly thought they were both boy names. What do I know? Bizzare.

However, my current two girl names of choice are: Amira and Violet. I'm not even pregnant. Nor do I have even a smidge of the Middle East in me. Am I even allowed to choose Amira? Violet's my grandma's name so no booing that one!

I have always said, give your kids user friendly names! Holy Moly, I even give my dogs user friendly names!

My brother is named CANNON. It is a family name so it never sounded far out there for us...till people started mocking him in public. People can be sweet like that.

Great post. I think it should definetly be your comeback. I miss you. Or, at least I miss pictures of your children. ;)

Welcome back! Missed you! Canyon? Fable? No thanks! I'm of the traditional mindset as well, in fact, had I had another girlie girl, her name would have been Amelia! :) Have a sunshiny day!!!

It's funny when you put it that way. I'm imagining interviewing a kid in 20 years for a job and seeing the name "Fable Williams" at the top and thinking, "holy shit, this kid had to have a fucked up childhood so how good can he/she really be?" I hope he/she has a family middle name like Tom.

I'd love to see your hair.

consider your back come-ed! er, hang on..

What do you think of Libby Jane ?
Thats what we've chosen for daughter number 2 due in 12 weeks, dont worry you can be honest, when we chose Imogen Mary for daughter no 1 NONE of my friends liked it lol but i would be interested in your opinion??
I'm always lurking here and hardly ever comment but i love your blog and your children are gorgeous :0)
Pol x

Okay, I did not know that Mia is short for Amelia.

My kids are Tyler (daughter) and Joseph.

I have missed you, I check every day for you. Well, not weekends.

Have fun with swim and Owen. My twos were not so bad, but hon I swear they are throttle em threes. 'Cause for me three was way worse than two. :)

OMG am DYING over Owen and his lolcats. I love love love love LOVE little kid speak. There is nothing in this world I love more. OMG, cracks me up and I wish I could catch it in a jar to listen to someday when my children are being infuriating and asking for later curfews and wearing too much makeup.

Dude. You go Mia. I love a girl who can hold her own, and then some.

Also, pictures? I feel like I always look like SUCH a goober in pictures. I only like pictures of myself when I'm not looking at the camera. For real. Our wedding shot is Sweetie and I clinking our champagne flutes and looking at each other, and I only agreed to posed pictures to make my Mom happy. Because I love her. I would take posed pictures for you Mom!

Best Worst Name Ever Heard In Real Life: Swan Lake. I shit you not.

I hope this is your comeback too.

I actually don't mind Canyon or Fable. And, yes, Fable is Rebecca Woolf's so, so, so, SOOOO adorable daughter's name. Honestly - she's the CUTEST!!! Most likely because of that, I have come to think of Fable as a really great girl's name. Don't know anyone by the name of Canyon, but - eh. It seems like a good, strong, unique boy's name to me.

Canyon is mildly annoying - living in the west I can believe that one ... But FABLE????? COME ON. Even the person with the Declan thinks that's fucked up.

Those are dreadful names. Am I an ancient reactionary? As it happens I am planning a dreadful names post myself but still in the process of passing under mental review the names of all my friends so that I do not lose any. I do have friends who have called their child Prosper which, I can say in the privacy of your blog is pretty dreadful even if his mother is French (where it is VERY MARGINALLY more common than in the anglophone world).

have to say, I have a soft spot for hippie names. I do. And I love Fable. Now, me, in my life, I could never get away with naming my child Fable. It just wouldn't make sense. But I am a big fan of Rebecca of Girls Gone Child and I think Fable works in her family. I can even see Canyon working, in the right family. It kinda reminds me of Dakota and Sierra and how those names seemed strange and exotic at the time. Now they're considered pretty tame.

As for name judgement, I have two friends who just named their daughter Jennifer. I was really upset about it - how could they choose such a boring name, in my opinion? I mean, didn't the 70s produce enough Jennifers? Anyway, that's my name judgement moment.

Love the Owenspeak! And that Mia is a swimming champion!

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So the Fish Said...

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