so the fish said...
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Where I Flash People. Again.

You would think that after five years of mothering I would have seen this coming. You would think that after all my experience with wearing torn pants and forgetting to redress myself after nursing and various children pulling various bits of my clothing off at various inappropriate times, I would have spotted this one a mile away. But no, there I was playing ride the horsie with the kids, where Mommy is, of course, the horsie, and the children attempt to break my back. And Mia was riding and Owen was jealous, and it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been wearing yoga pants, or if I at least hadn't also been wearing a thong, or if the front door hadn't been wide open leaving only a glass storm door between me and the world, or if the UPS guy hadn't been heading up the front steps. But none of those things were different, and that is how, when Owen tried to get his turn by grabbing on and pulling hard, I mooned the UPS guy.

I figure I will either get all of my packages very quickly from now on, or else I will have to switch to FedEx because UPS will refuse to come near my house. Probably that second one.

Comments (12)

You're probably get faster delivery :)

Haha my vote would be with the first one, too. All the UPS will be rushing to your door to try to get a glimpse of your smokin' ass ;)

Oh, my!

that is hilarious, I laughed out loud reading it. That would definitely happen to me!

I hope the UPS guy remained courteous and professional while you pulled your yoga pants up. I imagine he said thank you as well upon leaving from your glass storm door.

My response when I saw the title:

Seriously? AGAIN?

Now, if the UPS guy starts showing up in his cute brown shorts? With his Fireman friend? I'd take that as a compliment.

Your address will now be synonymous with 'bare mommy ass' throughout the halls of UPS in the greater metro area. You may even draw in drivers as distant as Baltimore or Richmond with your moon's gravitational pull.

I read this entry to my husband because hello? Hilarious! And his response, "lucky ups guy!"

I was thinking of you recently when I took my "good" blue pants out of the wash and held them up in such a way that I could suddenly (and with some horror) see that there were two spots on the back that were basically worn through. Which meant that my students had probably been seeing my underwear through these worn spots for some time. And, of course, none of them said anything.

I'm pretty sure this is second on every UPS guy's fantasy list of on-the-job awesomeness. The first being the subject of classic adult films (so I'm told).

Sorry, Beth. Had to laugh. Just think you probably made his day! Good reason to wear a belt and keep your glass door closed.

You just make me laugh! :)

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
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