You would think that after five years of mothering I would have seen this coming. You would think that after all my experience with wearing torn pants and forgetting to redress myself after nursing and various children pulling various bits of my clothing off at various inappropriate times, I would have spotted this one a mile away. But no, there I was playing ride the horsie with the kids, where Mommy is, of course, the horsie, and the children attempt to break my back. And Mia was riding and Owen was jealous, and it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't been wearing yoga pants, or if I at least hadn't also been wearing a thong, or if the front door hadn't been wide open leaving only a glass storm door between me and the world, or if the UPS guy hadn't been heading up the front steps. But none of those things were different, and that is how, when Owen tried to get his turn by grabbing on and pulling hard, I mooned the UPS guy.
I figure I will either get all of my packages very quickly from now on, or else I will have to switch to FedEx because UPS will refuse to come near my house. Probably that second one.