10:30 Beth falls asleep, exhausted from a day of child-wrangling, double pool trips, and hours in the heat working to deforest the completely overrun and embarrassing back yard. Some people claim that Beth begins immediately to snore in a loud and impressive manner, due certainly to above mentioned deforestation, but those people are dirty lying liars because Beth does not snore.
11:00 Mia turns up claiming to have had a bad dream, climbs into bed next to Chris, and falls asleep.
11:30 Chris moves to guest room to escape actual kicking and totally made up snoring.
12:00 Owen wakes up, Chris soothes back to sleep.
12:30 Owen wakes up, Chris soothes back to sleep.
2:30 Beth wakes up to answer a call of nature. Returns to bed and is shocked to discover the mysterious lump buried in the middle of the bed is her oldest child and her husband is nowhere to be found.
2:45 Beth climbs back out of bed, walks around to Chris's side, and climbs back in to escape the Kicking Feet of You Are Never Sleeping Again Doom. Beth spends the next 45 minutes trying to determine how a not-yet-five-year-old child can fill the entirety of a king sized bed.
3:30 Beth foolishly dozes off. Owen starts singing. Beth finally goes to see what his deal is and Owen demands to be taken, with blanket, to Beth's bed. Beth complies in the hope of ever getting to sleep again.
5:00 Owen finally goes back to sleep. And starts snoring. Actual snores, not the total bullshit snores of which Beth was previously falsely accused.
5:15 Beth retreats to Mia's bed. Not her favorite place to sleep, but pickings were getting mighty slim.
5:45 Beth foolishly dozes off. Owen starts to scream. Beth sprints down hall to gently quiet him before he wakes up his sister
goddammit only to discover Owen sleeping peacefully when she gets there.
6:15 Beth finally goes back to sleep.
6:30 Chris gets up for the day and conducts a scavenger hunt to locate various members of his family.
7:30 Owen wakes Mia up to get her help locating their missing parents.
7:35 Beth starts mainlining coffee.