so the fish said...
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Last Night

10:30 Beth falls asleep, exhausted from a day of child-wrangling, double pool trips, and hours in the heat working to deforest the completely overrun and embarrassing back yard. Some people claim that Beth begins immediately to snore in a loud and impressive manner, due certainly to above mentioned deforestation, but those people are dirty lying liars because Beth does not snore.

11:00 Mia turns up claiming to have had a bad dream, climbs into bed next to Chris, and falls asleep.

11:30 Chris moves to guest room to escape actual kicking and totally made up snoring.

12:00 Owen wakes up, Chris soothes back to sleep.

12:30 Owen wakes up, Chris soothes back to sleep.

2:30 Beth wakes up to answer a call of nature. Returns to bed and is shocked to discover the mysterious lump buried in the middle of the bed is her oldest child and her husband is nowhere to be found.

2:45 Beth climbs back out of bed, walks around to Chris's side, and climbs back in to escape the Kicking Feet of You Are Never Sleeping Again Doom. Beth spends the next 45 minutes trying to determine how a not-yet-five-year-old child can fill the entirety of a king sized bed.

3:30 Beth foolishly dozes off. Owen starts singing. Beth finally goes to see what his deal is and Owen demands to be taken, with blanket, to Beth's bed. Beth complies in the hope of ever getting to sleep again.

5:00 Owen finally goes back to sleep. And starts snoring. Actual snores, not the total bullshit snores of which Beth was previously falsely accused.

5:15 Beth retreats to Mia's bed. Not her favorite place to sleep, but pickings were getting mighty slim.

5:45 Beth foolishly dozes off. Owen starts to scream. Beth sprints down hall to gently quiet him before he wakes up his sister goddammit only to discover Owen sleeping peacefully when she gets there.

6:15 Beth finally goes back to sleep.

6:30 Chris gets up for the day and conducts a scavenger hunt to locate various members of his family.

7:30 Owen wakes Mia up to get her help locating their missing parents.

7:35 Beth starts mainlining coffee.

Comments (17)

That sucks, I'm sorry. :-( We have similar sleep adventures here, except we haven't gotten around to buying a bed for our guest room, so the options are a toddler bed in the boy's room, bunk bed in the girl's room or the couch. (Although I've actually considered the floor in the guest room, at least it's quiet in there.) Last night I finally made a bed on the floor of my room and the kids sang themselves (and me) back to sleep at 1 AM while the hubby snored.

People keep assuring me that someday I'll miss having small children who want to be attached to me at all hours of the day and night, mostly I just really want to get a whole night's sleep....

sounds so much like our house :)

I've had nights um, pretty much... EXACTLY like that. I'm not sure if this helps, but our kids are 7 and almost 4 and it's been AGES since we've dealt with that kind of night. Sometimes ONE child will need night-time help (usually for either sore legs or a bad dream) but our days of musical beds and someone-awake-at-least-every-hour seem to be a thing of the past.

And now I'm off to furiously knock on wood. ;)

Oh my gosh. I don't know how you made it through the day. I hope you have a wonderful sleep tonight.

Oh, wow. I hope you are sound, sound asleep as I write this! (I kind of wish I was heh. But it's 12:32am here, and I don't have to be up til...9ish, so I'm okay!)

I am so sorry. REALLY!

Sometimes Thomas has a night where he wakes up and will not - CAN NOT - go back to sleep. He lays (lies?) next to me and cheerfully sings and talks and I want to bang my head against the wall. I don't GET IT - the random night wakeups. I never can trace them to sugar or anything like that. It's just weird.

Ha ha! I love this! I mean, I hate it for YOU. But I love the funny reading.

Good luck with the coffee. And put a movie in and play "Is Mommy Sleeping?" on the couch.

You poor thing. I still have those days night before last in fact, and mine are 12 and 10.

Of course, they are few and far between but still happens.

Also, I have been thinking about Mia's birthday and what about a wall decoration featuring a swimmer?

I found a great wall hanging. It is a little expensive for a 5yr. old but really nice.

It is at under wall decor.

Maybe, you could find something similiar but more Mia-aged.

Now that's a bad night. I hope you got a nap. Those days are mostly behind me, thank goodness, because Lilli is 9. But if she has a really bad nightmare and really wants to sleep in our bed, also king size, I just move to her bed. She's way too wiggly for all three of us to be in the same bed.


It always amazed me what a woman can do on no sleep!

o wow. that just sounds so exhausting.

I'm exhausted just reading it, but I'll admit it made me giggle. :) Hoping you have a more restful night, tonight!

you poor love, hugs and wishes for a better night tonight go our to you.

your entry is like straight up birth control reading for me.

I'm blog stalking you, hoping you'll post again soon. Just thought you should know.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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