I keep wanting to quit you. It just all seems so... unpleasant, lately. We aren't in Kansas anymore, I suppose.
So I want to throw it all in, but then I remember You. Not all of You, but most of You. I guess I would have survived my first year of motherhood without You, but it would have been so much harder, and it was incredibly hard even with everything You gave me. And You are so brilliant. Like yesterday, I threw up something about Mia reading, and then Em (oh, my old and faithful friend) left a comment about how reading is power, about how some people are not taught to read so that they won't have power, about how reading enables you to go anywhere and do anything. And my god, I hadn't even thought of that. And my god, I wanted to drive to Mia's school and pull her out of class and tell her that. And my god but I did tell her that last night - how proud I was, how amazing it was, how she could learn anything and do anything and be anything. And I might not have thought to tell her that, not right now, except that Em has been sending me her wisdom for the past five years and I finally got smart enough to listen.
And so, my darling/despised internet. I hate you a lot of the time lately, but I love you a lot too. And you deserve the love so much more than the animus. I can't be here the way I was before, but I have eternal optimism that you will take me the way I am now.
Love and other indoor sports,