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Can't Quit You

Dear Internet,

I keep wanting to quit you. It just all seems so... unpleasant, lately. We aren't in Kansas anymore, I suppose.

So I want to throw it all in, but then I remember You. Not all of You, but most of You. I guess I would have survived my first year of motherhood without You, but it would have been so much harder, and it was incredibly hard even with everything You gave me. And You are so brilliant. Like yesterday, I threw up something about Mia reading, and then Em (oh, my old and faithful friend) left a comment about how reading is power, about how some people are not taught to read so that they won't have power, about how reading enables you to go anywhere and do anything. And my god, I hadn't even thought of that. And my god, I wanted to drive to Mia's school and pull her out of class and tell her that. And my god but I did tell her that last night - how proud I was, how amazing it was, how she could learn anything and do anything and be anything. And I might not have thought to tell her that, not right now, except that Em has been sending me her wisdom for the past five years and I finally got smart enough to listen.

And so, my darling/despised internet. I hate you a lot of the time lately, but I love you a lot too. And you deserve the love so much more than the animus. I can't be here the way I was before, but I have eternal optimism that you will take me the way I am now.

Love and other indoor sports,

Comments (13)

Whee! A shout out! I am so honored and embarrassed (in a good way!). Thanks for making my day! I spout off all the time about nonsense, it's nice when something I say makes sense to somebody and makes them happy.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and baby pictures with us. I am just a couple of years ahead of you, parenting wise (probably age wise too darnit!) so many of your experiences are fresh in my my mind yet still make me go "awww! I remember that!" like it was a million years ago.

Bravo to Em! And to you! And to Mia!!!!

Blogging has changed, and not always in a good way, and it has something I've been talking about a lot lately. I miss the old blogging, before all the reviews and the "monetization" (man I hate that word) and all the other STUFF. I think about leaving once a week. But then I remember all I have gained from blogging, you and your beautiful family are included, and I stick around. I think you just have to do it on your own terms.

I really love your blog, even in its evolved state. I always wish you would post more, but am happy you post at all. Thank you for sharing a small piece of your life with us.

Also, love is not always an indoor sport. :)

The one thing I've always been really jealous about your blog and Chris's is the thought that someday, when your children are all grown up, they will be able to read back through all your entries and get an almost daily perspective of how they grew up, and who you were when you were the center of their world.

Whether you continue to share with the world, ( which I sincerely hope you do ( but could also understand why you'd want it to go away ) ), I hope that you continue to essentially journal, because you have created a rare gift for your children and future generations of Fish and Cactus's.

Keep on trucking Beth.


I'm glad you're still around the internets. And good call Em, on the power of reading - it really is incredible! What a great lesson to remind us just how blessed we are!

Pleased your hanging around, at least a little while longer! Im a occosional commenter and loooooooong time lurker and would be sad to see you go :(, its nice to learn not everyone is an evil troll on the internet!

Ack and a terrible speller when I can no longer reach the keyboard due to baby bum blugh!

Don't go. It would be like missing part of my daily ritual. Even though I don't always comment I ALWAYS check in and read. Congrats on the reading...Mia is always a gauge for me on what is *just* around the corner for us.

I used to sign letters that way! I can not remember which book I borrowed that little gem from. Was it a Judy Blume?

Can I tell you how glad I am that you're not quitting us? 'Cause I am.

I am very selfishly glad that you can't quit us. Yours is one of the first blogs I started reading, before Mia was born even. You have become part of my every day. Okay, my every week at this point. That may not be fair to you, but it is true.

I would miss you if you were gone.

(I used to be Alias Mother. I switched because I've convinced myself that changing it up is going to fix my internet blahs.)

And here I am catching up again. Largely because I am having the same love/hate war with the internet.

I'm always writing blog posts in my head but they never make it to the page.

Now I have this really in-depth online Biology course and so I take periodic breaks and catch up on things.

I can tell you that reading you & Mr. Fish/Cactus Dude for the last (oh, wow) almost 6 years...has always been an inspiration and a joy!

I still have the Christmas Card and some of your recipes have made my family quite happy.

My kids are teens(ish for Max) and I have always found the content to be refreshing and honest.

I hope you don't disappear for too long, but I know how it is. :)

Peace & Love!

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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