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Don't F Up

For the second time in the span of one week, the early hours of this morning found me doing multiple loads of laundry. The stomach bug that has been running rampant through kindergarten and caught Mia last week finally felled Owen at 4:00 this morning. Fortunately, Owen wants Daddy when he is sick, so I got to return to my own bed once the sheets were changed and the laundry started, but I cannot listen to a vomiting child without bolting up to help, so there wasn't much rest had by anyone. (I feel I must point out that Chris is perfectly happy to sleep when I am tending to a night of Mia vomit. He has many other good qualities, though.)

Owen is better, we think, knock wood, etc. And as we were shuffling the short people off to bed tonight, Mia said to him "Good night, Owen. Don't f up." Yup. Good night and don't f up. And I'm wondering which charming kindergarten classmate taught my child to say f up, but I play it so cool. I ask her to repeat herself, yup, don't f up. And then I feign total confusion. But Mia, what does that mean? I don't understand.

You know, she says. Don't frow up, but it is more polite to say f up than frow up. Mia still has trouble with the "th" sound. So when she wants to council her younger brother to try not to vomit, she advises that he not f up.

I couldn't even look at Chris for fear we would both be on the floor having hysterics, and it almost made up for all the times today that I actively encouraged Owen to vomit all over me (really doesn't bother me anymore at this point, made it easier for him, oh the 21 year old me would lie down and die if she knew).

Don't f up, people. Mia says so.

Comments (5)

Haha I'll take that under advisement ;-)

Good for you for not reacting with your first (and what would have been my only) assumption! I can only imagine I would have launched into some stern lecture about not cursing or something.

(PS. Please don't send the stomach bug over this way. I'm not as strong as you are!)

That is hilarious! At least it is pretty situationally specific so you don't need to worry about her coming up with it someplace you would have to explain.

I always said when asked when you know you are a mother, "It is when you see your child about to vomit and you put out cupped hands so it doesn't hit the carpet". Vomit is never nice but it loses some of its power after kids. Must be the constant exposure (aka immersion therapy. EW!).

The stomach virus killed the first half of March in our house and I find I am still doing clean up from it (not the gross stuff but blankets I had put on the floor by their bed, face clothes that made it to the bathroom but not the hamper, etc.). I hope everyone in your house is feeling their very best soon!

Love reading both versions of the story and both make me laugh, wish I could have seen your faces...PRICELESS!!

My five-year-old also has trouble with the "th" sound - also replacing with "f." She told me "three" was spelled "free."
I can honestly say that if she had dropped "Don't f up" on me, I would have been rolling on the floor with laughter. That was my reaction when she informed her father, "Daddy, I didn't say 'f*&k' at school today." Good job, baby. Gold star.

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

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