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Screw Radio Silence

Yes yes, I know, and how are you? Good, let's go.

Owen has been doing this little camp thing this week, basically a preschool prep where they go through all the motions (line up, sit on the rug, play with other children, try not to hit them, do a craft, eat a snack, wet your pants, etc.) but don't actually try to teach them anything at all. After all the drama we had with Mia in her first year of preschool, and her second year of preschool, and her first couple of weeks of kindergarten, we thought a little dry run would be a good idea.

And oh, I was so hoping that Owen would be one of those children who tripped merrily off to school with no more than a warning not to let the door hit me on the hiney on the way out, but so far at least it is not to be. Day 1 was ok, Day 2 he was leery, Days 3 & 4 he had to be physically pried off my body by his teachers. And once he gets through that he does ok, really well even, and he is always happy when I come to get him and has lots to report and his teachers swear that he bounces back quickly and is having wonderful days. So we keep doing it, because he is ready for school and it is good for him and he needs to learn that I can leave and still come back, but having a three year old beg me not to take him to school and then cling to me while screaming hysterically breaks my heart into a million pieces every single time.

And of course, Mia comes along with me for drop off, and I have been trying to explain to her why we keep doing it, and what she was like when she started preschool and why we kept doing that and how sometimes it is my job to do things that make my children unhappy and that also make me unhappy because I have to do what is right for them even when it sucks all around. So she asked me how I knew this was right for Owen? How I knew he really needed to go to the camp that makes him sob instead of just waiting for school in the fall.

I told her the truth - I don't know. I have no idea. I know Owen and how he is and I know what things I think might be good for him and I know how things were with you, but then I just take all of the things I know and close my eyes and hope and guess. Which is what we all do, I know, and then we open our eyes and hope that it was right, and if not right, then at least close enough.

Comments (10)

Oh wow, those two really are cut from the same cloth aren't they? I'm so sorry you have to go through this again. I remember how hard it was for you the first time around.

It takes Kyle about two weeks in every new class to adjust, and even after a long break (vacation, even a long illness), it takes that long to re-adjust. He loves school, loves his buddies, loves his teachers, but those first two weeks are always super-duper tough. And, I'm always super-duper glad we push through them. The other side is much sweeter than the start.

The last paragraph, by the way, is precisely why you are (officially!) one of my top 5.

Hugs to you for going through this (again). I was thinking a similar thought recently- regarding my little ones getting shots. Explaining to my 4 and 5 year old that yes it hurts but only briefly. Ugh! Here's to hoping that Owen settles into this new idea and is all the more ready for preschool in the fall :) We really are all just making our best guess, right?

No advice, just heartfelt sympathy from another mom who's never sure she's doing the right thing.

I've been struggling with this kind of thing this week as the kids start swimming lessons up again. Three kids are doing fine, one is sad but plowing through it and seems okay, and one is FREAKING THE FLIP OUT and it's very hard to know if I'm doing the right thing by leaving him in. I THINK I am. I THINK swimming and water safety is crucial enough that he should continue with this. I THINK that this is one of those times to push it instead of backing off. But I could be wrong. I could be COMPLETELY WRONG. I don't like that kind of thing, so I wish it wasn't happening ALL THE TIME.

You're doing the right thing because he's ok, he's loved, and he's getting to toe into a new environment without getting a shock to his system.

You are a wonderful mom. Now stop it. Big hugs.

No no! She is too young to know that we don't know what we are doing! I didn't realize that my parents were just winging it until I became a parent.

I remember those days...... Horrid in every way, but it does get better. Agree totally that admitting you don't know is good but also agree with Michelle :) You're a great Mum, try not to beat yourself up, and hugs xx

Don't worry about the fact that you told her that you don't know, etc. That won't register with her as a true statement, because no matter what (or no matter what I may or may not have heard as a kid), kids still believe their parents have this huge store of wisdom and really know all the answers. After all, we ARE about four times as large as they are (at this age), and a jillion times older, so OF COURSE we must know mostly everything.

Don't worry about the fact that you told her that you don't know, etc. That won't register with her as a true statement, because no matter what (or no matter what I may or may not have heard as a kid), kids still believe their parents have this huge store of wisdom and really know all the answers. After all, we ARE about four times as large as they are (at this age), and a jillion times older, so OF COURSE we must know mostly everything.

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So the Fish Said...

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