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Lick the Needle

I'm 38 today. I could be coy and just say that today is my birthday, but I got over coy roughly a decade ago, so now I am 38 and here we are. I debated and debated what to do with myself on my birthday since I have roughly three hours child and husband free, and after running through all my options I decided to sit on my couch for three hours and watch back to back to back DVR'd episodes of Sons of Anarchy. (Do not talk to me about Sons of Anarchy, I'm still five episodes behind.) Anyway, I watched one episode, but then I was bored with the couch so I went running, and then I headed straight back to the couch for more biker violence. Pretty ideal morning, if you ask me.

Anyway, things here are good. Mia is missing so many teeth that she is living on overcooked pasta and applesauce, but she is very happy in school this year and that is a huge improvement on all of our lives. Also, she finally has a warm-blooded pet and it suits her so well. He's a guinea pig named Andersen, and Chris and I have taken to calling him Andersen Pooper. Owen is very nearly five and I have to constantly remind myself of all the very nearly five children I have known and how badly most of them have needed a good throttling in order to avoid delivering said (purely hyperbolic) throttling to my own child, but when he isn't screaming on the floor because I didn't pour the precise amount of milk into his glass that he desired he is really a very sweet boy. Although he just refused to participate in his weekly swim lesson and both kicked me and hit me with his goggles for good measure, just to drive his point home. So there's that.

(I just updated their pictures over on the right there, so click through from your feed reader if you are interested. Poor Owen - add "impossible to get a good picture of cause they do that weird smile thing" to the burdens of being almost-five.)

A friend of mine died last month. It was neither sudden nor unexpected, but still far too soon and too young. She taught me that if life hands you lemons you should say oh well fuck you too and grab an awesome hat and sing some show tunes and make lemonade confetti and load it into a cannon and fire it straight back into life's face. She also taught me that, when you are threading a needle, you should never lick the thread. Lick the needle instead, and I swear that thread practically jumps through the eye.

I'm thinking of making 38 the year I blog again. It seems impossible from here, but maybe all I have to do is lick the needle instead of the thread.

Comments (22)

hello! Hi! Welcome back! I can't believe how big Owen is. My son is pretty much the same age and I have been reading your blog since a bit before they were born (oh wow that is pretty much FIVE years!) and yeah nice to see you back! You should stay! :-) (because yeah as if you need an invite to stay on your own blog) i'm just going to shut it now.
Wait p.s. My kid throws a fit at his weekly swim lessons EVERY SATURDAY. Like he wasn't just there 7 days earlier. I miss the summertime.

Happy Birthday!!!

Yay for blogging again. Hope you do. Miss you on these here interwebs.

oh Beth I miss you. You were my first blog friend.

Happy Birthday!

Mia and Owen are gorgeous. And yes, 5 year old boys are well, 5 year old boys.

How nice to see new pictures!

I'm sorry about your friend.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT ABOUT LICKING THE NEEDLE. I will try it!

Happy birthday and welcome back! We've missed you!

Happy Birthday - and welcome back, I hope you do start blogging again!

Nice to hear from you! Happy birthday.

Happy Birthday, Beth! So happy to see you pop up in my reader today. Mia and Owen are both beautiful, wonderful children and it's been a joy watching them grow! So have some cake and ice cream and a little champagne and enjoy! The best is yet to come!!!

Welcome back, Beth and Happy birthday! Hope you continue to blog- missed ya.

Happy Birthday!

You're the second blog friend (I hope I can call you that) who showed up suddenly in my Google Reader today. It's nice to read you again. Here's to licking the needle!

It was nice to see you in my feed reader again! :D Happy birthday!

Thirty eight has been good to me so far. Please write more!

Happy happy birthday! Glad to hear things are swimming right along for you all

Happy Birthday! It's nice to see a post from you :)

Mia and Owen are so grown up looking. And beautiful kids, too.

I'm sorry about your friend.

Happy Birthday! The late 30s are good years, and the number doesn't mean anything to me either.

One note about the boy. We considered throwing ours out with the trash more than once when he was four, and again at five. And then at some point at age 5, he stopped throwing himself on the ground in fits. He started acting, dare I say, responsible. Kindergarten came and he loved the structure of it all. In short: It Gets Better. Totally different than our girl, who, at age 4 became some sort of perfect child and has been that way for the last 5 years now. Boys vs. Girls, First born vs Second born, etc. I wish you luck and patience. :)

As the World's Most Infrequent blogger, I don't feel that I'm really in a position to vote as to whether or not you blog or not. I mean, perhaps if I could get my own poop in a group, it wouldn't sound so hypocritical to say, "Yes! Please! Re-interject your humor into every day of my life!" But assuming that you want my unsolicited opinion -- make this your blogging comeback year. Please.

And Happy Birthday. :o) I miss you lots.

Happy Birthday! I hope 38 is the year you blog again. Thanks for the updates, both in words and pictures.

Hope your birthday was wonderful!! Sorry to hear about your friend >

We've missed you around here!! I hope you do decide to come back to blogging! :)

Welcome back and Happy Birthday (a day late)! You share my daughter's birthday which makes a person extra special in my book. I hope you enjoyed your whole day as much as you enjoyed the couch portion. I have a 5 year old as well and I don't think it is overstating to say that the tantrums are EPIC. I'm hoping, after reading your post that it is age related and he'll outgrow it.

Happy Birthday! At least I know you will see this as I wished you a Happy Birthday on Chris's site.

Your children are gorgeous. So sorry to hear about your friend.

Must try licking the needle instead of the thread.

And, when life hands me lemons, I add vodka and sugar!!!

Happy Birthday! Lick the needle and come on through. So enjoy your blog!

I'm so sorry about your friend. I don't like life sometimes, not at all.

I'd love for you to return to blogging, though. You'll always be one of my favorites, even if you don't, though.

Happy birthday, too!

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So the Fish Said...

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