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State of the Union

My baby is five. Sure, he still says "lemember" for remember and "bigtar" for guitar but I know he's just humoring me because I have to buy him new shoes every three months and despite my best efforts he insists on learning how to read. He could happily eat nothing but meat all day every day with maybe some frozen peas thrown in for variety. He remembers every single thing that has ever happened to him since birth, as near as we can figure, and he uses it against us on a regular basis. Five. My baby. Five.

My not-baby made a chocolate cake with two kinds of frosting and decorated it pretty much entirely by herself. I figure tomorrow I will just teach her how to drive and then she can dispense with this whole parenting facade and get herself an apartment, except that she will have to come over every morning so I can strap the velcro on her shoes which she refuses to do for herself.

I bought a minivan. I know, I know, but I hate how much I love it. I'm working on developing some sort of minivan-mom gang signs that we can flash each other when we pass in the elementary school carpool lane. Something that means "yes I'm driving a minivan, but only ironically" or "we win cupholders" or "maybe you should put your latte in one of your many cupholders before you flash minivan gang signs next time." I'll host several convenient training sessions once I have them finalized.

Comments (8)

My goodness that went fast! My condolences on joining the minivan brigade ;) Haha, seriously though, happy birthday Owen!

the minivan gig is okay. Sometimes joining the herd just means the herd is smart and practical. Not always, don't jump off a bridge or anything!

the minivan gig is okay. Sometimes joining the herd just means the herd is smart and practical. Not always, don't jump off a bridge or anything!

Is he five today? If so, Happy Birthday! That would also make the cake a cake with purpose which is always slightly more delicious than a cake still finding itself (hint: check my belly, cake). We've had a minivan for a while but I have never been under the impression that I could be more cool without one. I'm pretty much 100% nerd whatever I am driving but I like being able to put everyone in it and then sit in the front and threaten to never leave if people don't get buckled. I have a book. It could happen. When we had a regular car, I had to stand outside the car just to get everyone to their seats.

Holy Wow. 5. If I think time flies for other peoples' kids, it is really going to go by in the blink of an eye for my own.

Except when he screams for 2 hours. Those are the slow times.

Thanks for documenting!

Would have never seen the minivan thing coming. Surprised at how much you love it.

Hard to believe how quickly time is flying by. It has been fascinating to watch Mia and Owen grow and change.

I never gave in to the minivan wiles. It remains a regret. Although now that my kids are 30 and 24, drivig one ironically might be cool.

I have lurked a long time. But there is no way it's been five years since you were anticipating your youngest child's arrival. No way. I refuse to believe it.


I am old.

Sigh...where do the years go? Thanks for the update :)

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So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

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I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

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