So the Fish Said...

Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem, I whisper with my lips close to your ear.

- Walt Whitman

Meet the Fish

I want to get a pet duck and keep it in the bathtub.
I am addicted to chap stick and altoids.
I am freakishly flexible.

World's Most Beautiful Child


World's Most Handsome Child


Other Important Things

Clive Owen

Clive Owen
Pretend Celebrity Boyfriend

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so the fish said...
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About Me, Pretend You Care

Hi, I'm Beth and I rock the suburbs of Washington D.C. with my husband of eight years, Chris, and our kids - Mia, born in July 2005, and Owen, born in February 2008. I am partway through 29, for the fifth time. I like books, cats, purple, starchy food, roller coasters and really bad television. I dislike parsnips, dogs in handbags, paisley, local news shows and snobbery. I am cry-like-a-little-girl terrified of horses and termites. This ends the centerfold portion of the introduction.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronomer until I figured out it was boring. I studied Art History in college, which in no way prepared me for my career in telecom. I once got an A in Calculus. That has nothing to do with anything else, but I am very proud of it so I drop it in wherever I can. In order, I have worked as a check processor, retail minion, restaurant cashier, grocery store assistant manager, substitute teacher (I always made the kids cry), legal flunky, corporate flunky (that was the telecom part, seven years), and mommy extraordinaire. The mommy bit is far and away my favorite, but the hours and the salary suck.

The rest is around here somewhere, so feel free to look around. Just raise your hand if you have any questions, and I'll call on you as soon as I finish my ice cream.