Melonhead

As I have mentioned, lately my biological clock has been ticking like a freaking time bomb and giving me the uncontrollable urge to procreate. So I find myself making mental lists of reasons why I should and should not have a baby. For example: Pro – baby eyelashes. Con – baby poop. Last night, I had a startling and disturbing realization that changed the entire equation.

I have a great big melon head.

I got it from my father, who also has a great big melon head and who apparently comes from a long line of melonheaded people. I have been melonheaded since birth. In fact, my mother had to have a cesarean entirely because of my freakishly large head. As if the idea of childbirth isn’t scary enough, I now have to deal with the very real possibility that I will be giving birth to a Talosian.

I am so getting a puppy instead.