November 12, 2004
Caution: Tedious navel-gazing ahead
I wrote this long post about despair and hardship and crying on the floor and holes and pits and hills and crossroads and relationships and faith and trust and learning to love myself, but it was boring as all shit so I deleted it.
The short version is that I have been freaked out about turning 30, because it’s 30! Oh my, 30! Did you hear me? I said 30! I don’t know why I've been freaking, I don’t have any good reason. The truth of the matter is that 29 really sucked for me. I hope to one day look back and think “oh yes, 29, ha-ha, that was the worst year of my entire life. Thank goodness it got better from there.” So I am looking forward to 30. I am looking forward to putting some distance between me and this terrible year. I am looking forward to making all of the hard and vulgar things into lessons learned rather than injuries.
I’m ready. I have learned a lot this year about who I am and who I am not. I’m ready to stand up for myself, to take risks, to believe that I will be ok. I understand that life goes off the tracks sometimes, and that is not always a bad thing.
Look out 30; I’m going to make you my bitch.
Posted by Beth at November 12, 2004 10:14 AMYOU are a mere pup... LIke has just begun for you... trust me... You have lots of wonderful years ahead of you -- just don't screw them up! :-) We'll be watching...
Posted by: Bob at November 12, 2004 10:20 AM30 isn't really so bad. It happened to me 2 years ago. What I'm going to hate is 40, which is in 8 very short years from now. My son will be 20 then and my daughter will be *sucks in breath* 14. I will feel like killing myself then.
Posted by: Swt GA HunnyB at November 12, 2004 10:21 AMSo, seriously, I saw "pits" and thought "armpits" and got confused.
Then I got a clue.
Have a fabulous birthday! And you will, indeed, make 30 your bitch. I'll even help.
Posted by: Dawnie at November 12, 2004 10:30 AM"tell it girl"
ok, see - that's the problem with comments. if i said that out loud, it would come across as a strong little statement and you might think i was a little nuts, but you'd get it. whereas, typed out, it's just dumb - LOL!
but yea - i'm turning 30 soon too and i'm looking forward to leaving my 20s behind, but still... i can relate to the freakage :)
Posted by: zalary at November 12, 2004 10:32 AMYay you!
And when you're done, will you come over here and make 40 your bitch, too? I'm not sure I'm up to it. Thanks for the assist.
Posted by: ben at November 12, 2004 10:37 AMI turned 30 in May. Was also freaked out. BAD. But in truth? It hasn't been so bad.
As long as nobody asks how old I am.
Posted by: The Other Beth at November 12, 2004 10:40 AMYou dont look a day over 21. :)
Posted by: Zoot at November 12, 2004 10:54 AMI'm with Zoot...at least you have your looks. Hehehe, could that have sounded any more shallow?
Posted by: JuJuBee at November 12, 2004 11:20 AMI turned 30 in July.
Ummm.... that never freaked me out until just this minute when I typed that. Shit.
Posted by: donna at November 12, 2004 11:31 AMFeliz Cumpleaños!
I so looked forward to 30. I wish I could have made it last a little longer. :D I'm quite jealous that you're hitting this milestone.
I have no doubt that 30 is gonna rock hard. I'm excited for you. Can't wait to read about how well it turns out.
Posted by: Patricia at November 12, 2004 11:32 AMThirty rocks. Seriously. Just think, you're a mere five years from your sexual peak!
(Happy Almost Birthday!)
hey, it could be worse. you could be less than 2 weeks away from your 29th birthday, still be single, have absolutely no prospects whatsoever, and be seriously considering freezing your eggs!
ok, i know, comparing yourself to others doesn't always work, but you're lightyears ahead of a lot of people so you should be proud.
Posted by: laura at November 12, 2004 11:43 AMI made 30 my bitch back in March and its been great! It's been so great that I'm pretty sure 40 will find me curled in a fetal position on the floor sucking my thumb.
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Wendy at November 12, 2004 12:04 PMWork it, own it ... 30 is going to be so you!!
Sorry my keyboard was taken over by Isaac Mizrahi.
Posted by: LOUP at November 12, 2004 12:09 PMHappy almost birthday. :)
And you know what? 30 actually turned out to be awesome for me. You will totally make 30 your bitch, and it will be fun!
Posted by: bad penguin at November 12, 2004 12:12 PMDon't sweat it Beth, I was upset when I hit 30 too but got over it with some advice from a friend. He reminded me that its the rhyming birthdays that are the worst!! You know the ones where you end up with a yard card from a "dear friend" that says Lordy Lordy look whos 40, those are the ones that really suck!
If that doesn't help you then try this. Go to your mirror and take a look at your face and say damn I'm hot, a few hundred internet stalkers can't be wrong!
I hope you have the best birthday ever, at least you know you got some serious bling this year!!
30 freaked me out too. But I got (drunk) over it.
My 30s have kicked my 20s ass, I've loved almost every minute...I'm sure they will be the same for you! (And I'm almost 1/2 way through them.) Happy Birthday!!!
Posted by: Krush at November 12, 2004 01:35 PMBeth,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And... it is SO MUCH better on this side of 30. SO SO SO MUCH BEtter, so come on over and join the club!
:)
Amy
Maybe in another life you lived in a society which did not have a base 10 system. Maybe there, 29 was like our 40 and you're just experiencing reincarnative psychic trauma. But maybe their 30 was the bomb (metaphorically speaking). Or not. Anyway, at least you got the bling bling. Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Sheryl at November 12, 2004 01:49 PMThe 30's are really great. Really.
Posted by: Marcia at November 12, 2004 02:22 PMThat's it, Beth. You are much too young to be worrying about your age. You can be upset when you hit 60, but then you'll be old enough to know, that its a silly thing to worry about. I'll be hitting the big 4-0 next year. Do you think I'm freaking out? Ha! No really. I'm good about this. Honest.
Posted by: J at November 12, 2004 02:37 PM30!! I hope you have a very happy and pretty birthday.
Posted by: bmh at November 12, 2004 02:50 PM30 is no doubt shaking in her cute little boots now....I think 30 is going to be a great year for you..I have faith
Posted by: Casey at November 12, 2004 03:03 PMHave a great birthday weekend, Beth.
Posted by: New Jan Brady at November 12, 2004 03:19 PMThirty is nice.
Posted by: cassie-b at November 12, 2004 04:02 PMFor me, turning 28 was hard. I don't know why I picked that number to freak out about, but I did. So, for going on eleven years, I've been 27 years old. Go figure.
Happy birthday!
Posted by: Debbie at November 12, 2004 04:17 PMHappy Birthday :) Thirty is going to be a breeze- I'm almost through a whole year of being in my thirties (31 in January!) and I haven't had any crusing feelings of regret thus far. Hell, you're only as old as you act, right?!?
Have a great weekend!!!
Posted by: Kristi at November 12, 2004 05:52 PMWhat an awesome way to look at the future. I want to make 24 my bitch. This year has been one of the worse for me thus far. So many down times, but next year will be better. You may now commence beating me up for only turning 24.
Posted by: Mary Jo at November 12, 2004 11:45 PMDear Mary Jo: I'll go first. I want to make anyone who says they want to make 24 their bitch, well, my bitch.
Dear Beth: Dirty Thirty? Heh. Heh. Heh... oh nevermind.
Posted by: Patrick at November 13, 2004 12:58 AMHappy birthday Beth!! I'm sure this will be your year :)
Posted by: Sweety at November 13, 2004 06:00 AMHappy birthday. Worry not. 30 will be fab.
Posted by: Belgian waffle at November 13, 2004 08:42 AMIf you lived on Mars, you'd be, like, 13. Hope your birthday was everything you hoped for, and more. Sounds like the wisdom of age is settling in very nicely in your case.
Posted by: Carmi at November 13, 2004 09:26 AMThe 30's rocks. Although I'm partial toward the 40's since I'm creeping up on them. 20's? Not so good. I mean, goddamn was I stupid. I thought I was smart, but looking back from 38, goddamn.
And if I don't see you, happy 30th! :)
Posted by: Iki at November 13, 2004 10:20 AMI am approaching 42, and trust me when I say the thirties are great! I didn't do the things I wanted in my thirties, but the things I did do, wanted or not, were pretty damned fantastic. I had my daughter at 38, Worked as an educator for a color company before that, and had my one and only bar fight ON my thirtieth birthday! So things don't always go as you want them to, but they can still work as as they should! Have a GREAT thirtieth!!!!
Posted by: csm at November 14, 2004 08:32 AMHappy birthday!
30 hasn't been so bad for me, you know, besides the gray hair and the sagging. But I'm getting used to it.
Think of it this way: I would MUCH rather know me and have me for a friend after thirty than before. For one, I have more money and a better car, and for another, I have better stories to tell. Also? I am really, really good at letting people be who they need to be.
I have a feeling you accomplished most of that before 30, but some of us needed longer.
Posted by: Mindy at November 14, 2004 11:38 AMBeth, I want to make you feel better, but I have to be honest, 30 sucks, but probably a bit less than 40. All you can look forward to now is people saying in surprised tone, 'oh, you look good for your age'.
Posted by: aussiemama at November 14, 2004 09:36 PMI turned 30 in October - honestly - it's not much different than 29.
Happy Birthday! Enjoy!
Posted by: Em at November 14, 2004 10:48 PMi freaked more when the hubby turned 30 than when i hit it (2 years later)... its been a few years and so far it's been uneventful. it's all good... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Posted by: monique at November 15, 2004 07:58 AM"Look out 30; I’m going to make you my bitch."
That's the attitude to have! You go girl! Don't let 30 turn you into a whiney baby! Take it head on, ram it into the wall, and let it know who's boss!
Yes, the 20's are a preshow. Now is when your life begins!
