January 17, 2005

Battle!

I’m living in a war zone.

My front porch is home base for one side in the wide-ranging conflict. My front porch makes an excellent base as the surrounding terrain makes it easy to defend. Also, you can hide behind the hedge rows and launch a surprise attack when the enemy passes by. However, as far as I can tell the soldiers have walkie-talkies but no weapons, so I’m not entirely clear what they use in the attack.

The retaining wall in my back yard appears to be some sort of holding cell. There have been interrogations taking place there sporadically for several days. I expect there will be a sneak attack from above before long, and I think the occupying army should pay careful attention to what is going on in the junipers above their heads. Also, as long as they are down there, they should take my trash and recycling up to the curb.

It has been rather stressful trying to live my life while surrounded by battles. I can’t decide whether I should barricade myself in a closet or invite the commandos in for hot cocoa. You see, it’s very cold today and I’m sure their mothers would be upset to know they weren’t wearing their gloves. I’ve also considered loaning them my set of walkie-talkies, but I am concerned doing so may change the balance of power in a conflict that I do not fully understand.

Perhaps I should call the U.N.?

Posted by Beth at January 17, 2005 11:52 AM
Comments

Don't call the UN. They won't do anything.

Posted by: Willful Expose' at January 17, 2005 11:59 AM

Uh, it feels like it's 6 degrees outside. My children are chained down in front of the TV and I'm forcing them to play PS2. Why in the world would any parent let their kids play outside on a day like today?

Or am I one of those totally unkewl moms?

Posted by: Kristie at January 17, 2005 12:20 PM

I don't think the UN is going to be of any help with your dilema! lol good luck :)

Posted by: Jade at January 17, 2005 12:55 PM

Forget the U.N., go outside and beat up on some grade school ass. Go out and build up a nice snowball aresenal and then launch an attack from an upstairs window.

Snowball fights. Awesome! Damn Texas.

Posted by: smartjuice at January 17, 2005 01:01 PM

Hey! I'm for hot cocoa (is that what it's called these days) in a closet with a couple of commandos! Or have I missed the point of this post altogether? ;)

Posted by: Amber at January 17, 2005 01:20 PM

Haha :) Lovely post! I'd go for offering the troops hot cocoa.

Posted by: Sweety at January 17, 2005 02:25 PM

Ah...I remember creating war zones! that was fun! Maybe I will do that today too...and freak my neighbors out! *grin*

Posted by: Gypsy at January 17, 2005 05:36 PM

I would definately call the UN, but if they take took long to respond, I'd go get Chris and go down there and beat the crap out of the biggest kid (and say he was using iceballs), steal his gloves, then stand there and let his buddies pelt you with snowballs until you have frostbite. No matter what, don't admit you were wrong.

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at January 17, 2005 09:12 PM

see, the problem with calling the UN is that they'll have meetings, and committees and endless discussions about such and such. then they'll just call in the US.

i recommend gallons of hot cocoa with thoise little marshmallows and a nice cozy chair.

Posted by: monique at January 17, 2005 09:41 PM

I'm so excited! You're going to be the coolest mom ever! You already HAVE the walkie-talkies!

Posted by: alektra at January 17, 2005 10:12 PM

That was a great post. I hope you at least made some hot cocoa while you were watching them.

Posted by: jenorama at January 18, 2005 01:05 AM

at least you had the day off, right? :) being in the middle of a war zone is probably better than work, i would imagine. hehe. :)

Posted by: tiffanie at January 18, 2005 01:33 AM

YO. Am drunity. and thought I'd sat UP. wait that was supposed to be YO.

Am method wirter. S' means...if character drunk in chapter I am writing so am i....

I sooo need to thank blog pals in my dedicaton for putting up w drunkignhy posts.

YO.

Did you smile? Bien mon amie, bien. Au revoir. A Bientot. Apparently can onyl speak and type french when drunkity/
Bonne soir.

Posted by: amy at January 18, 2005 05:19 AM

Yes, please don't do anything without U.N. approval.

Posted by: DeAnn at January 18, 2005 05:40 AM