February 16, 2005

Now we are fatter

I looked in the mirror after I got dressed this morning and tried to figure out which was growing faster - my belly or my ass. I decided it was a toss-up.

We have a winner.

Today, at work, I popped the button clean off my pants. Fortunately it was at the end of the day so I only had to hold my pants up for a little while.

Posted by Beth at February 16, 2005 08:14 PM
Comments

So that would be the belly right? If it were your ass, your pants would've ripped? I wish I had an ass, but alas. I don't.

Posted by: Heather at February 16, 2005 09:53 PM

The question is, did you hit anyone with that button?

Posted by: etherian at February 16, 2005 10:06 PM

I hope nobody lost an eye. It's much easier to hide a popped button if there's no damage done!
Time to buy elastic waist bands!

Posted by: Jade at February 16, 2005 10:13 PM

Binder clips work wonders if you need to hold your pants shut. The same thing happened to me around week 15.

Posted by: Irene at February 16, 2005 10:20 PM

Ah-ha, but can you be sure you weren't walking around with a ripped out ass all day? I only ask 'cos it happened to me once. And I wasn't even pregnant. My shame.
Sorry, this next bit is totally unrelated but I've just wanted to know; do you guys have a show called 'Spooks' on TV over there? About British spies?

Posted by: emma at February 16, 2005 10:42 PM

Sorry, how rude; by "over there" I meant in the US.

Posted by: emma at February 16, 2005 10:42 PM

i second the binder clip comment. i caught my dress on the door going out of a meeting and tore the seam, and had to wear a binder clip the rest of the day to keep from flashing people.

Posted by: jen at February 16, 2005 11:13 PM

That is damn impressive.

Posted by: Dawnie at February 16, 2005 11:48 PM

For the pants that still have buttons... :) Take a rubber band..and put one end through your button hole...bring the two ends together and loop them over your button....now I'm gonna guess this only really works if your blouse is long enough to cover the rigged pants trick..but..it may save you a few buttons...and co-workers eyes ;) as well as dealy having to buy elastic waste pants...

Posted by: Jules at February 16, 2005 11:51 PM

Where are the pictures of the belly?? I need a visual, here. Maybe even a video of the button actually popping off. After you make the tape, you could always send it in to one of those blooper shows and make millions!

Posted by: Karen at February 17, 2005 02:07 AM

Time to call your mom and ask for maternity clothes. :)

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at February 17, 2005 08:31 AM

That was a great idea that Jules had! I don't think I'd want to use binder clips, they could pop off quite easily and really hurt someone! LOL

Posted by: Swt GA Hunny Bee at February 17, 2005 08:54 AM

hahahahaha....
Does it feel icky to wear anything tight on your belly now?

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at February 17, 2005 11:22 AM

i always have safety pins just in case.

and at least the growth is proprotional right?

Posted by: kat at February 17, 2005 12:25 PM

Elastic for everyone, I say. Don't they make yoga stretchy pants that look professional?

Posted by: Coleen at February 17, 2005 12:44 PM

At least you have a good excuse, unless some of us. And by "some of us," I mean me of course.

Posted by: Fraulein N at February 17, 2005 12:59 PM

I second Jules' idea. It really does work.

Posted by: Kelley at February 17, 2005 01:18 PM

oh my goodness...is it bad that i'm laughing out loud?

it's only because, of course, i could see this exact same scenario happening to me!

today i've opted for the elastic waist skirt. :) so comfy.

god gives us gigantic bellies in the end so to draw attention away from the ass... it's quite clever actually...

Posted by: Ali at February 17, 2005 01:58 PM

A common malady for people in your condition.

Posted by: cassie-b at February 17, 2005 04:00 PM

Can't you just tie them together with a semicolon?

Posted by: bmh at February 17, 2005 04:32 PM

Isn't there a law that states, "Pregnant women shall not worry about popping off buttons, nor should women be held responsible for putting someones eye out with said button"?

Blue

Posted by: Blue at February 17, 2005 04:43 PM

For the first 16 weeks my ass and tits definitely grew faster than my belly - but ever since then, my belly has been on a rampage to catch up. Yesterday I had the first "stranger" pat my tummy and ask me when I'm due :shock: For the first time in my life that comment didn't offend me.

It sounds like it's time to "make the switch". You know, from regular clothes to maternity clothes - trust me, no one will really know they're maternity clothes and they are SO comfortable. I wonder if fat women everywhere have been keeping maternity clothes a secret? I don't EVER want to give mine up!

Posted by: Marie at February 18, 2005 07:35 AM

Elastic all the way baby! It is so stylish!

Posted by: Tricia at February 18, 2005 08:56 AM

Oh Beth.. I've missed so much news!!! How inconsiderate of you to fall pregnant whilst I was offline!!!

Congrats!! Sweetie :) :)

Posted by: Amelia at February 18, 2005 09:37 AM

The winner over here is my ass. I wish it was my belly. Cause right now I just look fat, not pregnant. At least with a belly it kind of gives you an excuse to have a big ass because, "Oh, she's pregnant."
My ass is just making it look like been eating way too many cookies. And I have been.

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at February 18, 2005 11:21 AM

How far did the button fly? Bonus points for over a foot. A girl in my office is preggers and I overheard her telling someone she was using a rubber band to fasten her pants. Ingenious.

Posted by: smartjuice at February 18, 2005 11:40 AM

Not fair! Smartjuice stole my question. And that was all I had, too! Damnit.

Posted by: Granola Spice at February 18, 2005 02:32 PM

Just you wait. It gets worse. And if you eat creamy soups and chocolate milk like I did...way worse.

ENJOY! :)

Posted by: angela marie at February 18, 2005 02:33 PM

I'm sure you look very cute pregnant!

Posted by: Nina at February 18, 2005 09:22 PM

I'm sorry pretty lady...but I really laughed at that! You should come with a warning sign to those around you! *grin*

Posted by: Gypsy at February 18, 2005 10:33 PM

See, but this is not "fat" in the true sense of the word, because you have a human growing inside you.

It's awesome!

Posted by: DeAnn at February 19, 2005 02:17 AM

Heheheh :) It's a good sign though!

Posted by: Sweety at February 19, 2005 04:26 AM

I've done that..hehe...and I didn't even have a Bean to blame it on

Posted by: Casey at February 19, 2005 07:41 AM

The only thing I loved about being pregnant was the fact that I grew hips and an ass. Lost them both straight away and turned back into 'rake-girl' but it was good while it lasted. I wore low hipster jeans 3 sizes too big, unbuttoned, with long blouses and singlets. But, mind you, it was summer and I really spent most of my time in the pool.

Posted by: song at February 20, 2005 12:27 AM