March 03, 2005

Miss March

Patricia suggested it, and Autumn provided the honest to goodness questions, so here we go.

My bio in the format of a Playboy Playmate of the Month.

Name: Beth Fish
Bust, Waist, Hip: None to speak of, round as a beachball, when they say “hip” they really mean “ass,” I have a smokin’ ass.
Height, Weight: 5’6” and pregnant so no way in hell
Birthdate, Birthplace: 11/14/74 Los Angeles, CA
Ambitions: To not kill my unborn child by sleeping the wrong way, to insure that my cat Callie is immortal because I could not deal otherwise, and to someday find a job that challenges more than my patience. Oh, and world peace.
Turn-ons: Clive Owen, someone rubbing my head, my husband telling me I look nice (which he should do much more of, hint hint), and anything to do with the side of my neck which usually causes me to fall down, in a good way.
Turn-offs: Men who yell at you on the street (does that ever work?), parsnips, not being able to drink for 9 months (ok, 8 months), and pants that are either four inches too long of half an inch too short for my legs.
You can win me over with: Oatmeal cookies and humor.
My idea of fun: Going out. Anywhere. I just like to go out.
Favorite movie: The Princess Bride
Some random personalized question: The best random personalized question for me would be “Why are you such a bitch?” The answer is “Because I can be and you know you love it so bite me.”

Come on now, you know you all want to do it.

Posted by Beth at March 3, 2005 03:51 PM
Comments

But the real question is, what part of your body is the staple covering up?

Posted by: patricia at March 3, 2005 04:26 PM

This is the best thing I've read all day. Now you just have to wait for your lonely male readers to come out of the woodwork and demand a centerfold.

Posted by: Dawnie at March 3, 2005 04:40 PM

"I feel happy when" - that's the weird one. I'm adding it into mine. :) (and, the link to my site doesn't work...)

I can't track back, but here's the link:

http://www.perfectiononacurve.com/post.html?post_id=86

Posted by: Autumn at March 3, 2005 04:40 PM

so, if you married Clive Owen and he rubbed your head, told you that you looked nice and then maybe brushed his lips on the side of your neck... i'm guessing your head would explode. in a good way.

Posted by: monique at March 3, 2005 05:10 PM

That was a great entry. Also extremely happy that you love The Princess Bride. Wonderful, wonderful movie. I think my favorite line is either "Inconceivable!" or "'No more rhymes now, and I mean it.'...'Anybody want a peanut?'"

Posted by: Heather at March 3, 2005 09:28 PM

Heh, heh. The Princess Bride. "As you wish." Yes, we know why Beth likes that movie. :)

And I just realized you are younger than my baby sister who is also pregnant. Egads. How the heck did I get so old?

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at March 3, 2005 10:17 PM

Isn't it time for you to get a new pretend celebrity boyfriend? Clive Owen is so last week.

Posted by: melman at March 4, 2005 12:14 AM

Beth is a centerfold... Loved reading your answers Miss March!

Posted by: Tricia at March 4, 2005 08:46 AM

that was hilarious I am going to put that in mine :) thanks for the great idea....

Posted by: mojavi at March 4, 2005 09:30 AM

Oh my God! How in love with Cary Elwes was I when I saw The Princess Bride? I think I may still love him. Yummy! Who has a name like Buttercup, anyway? That stupid ho doesn't deserve him.

Posted by: Gweny at March 4, 2005 01:10 PM

Love this idea and may have to steal it for myself. Great answers!

Posted by: Krush at March 4, 2005 02:59 PM

Yep. That's cool. I'm gonna do it!

Posted by: Ginny at March 6, 2005 08:22 PM