March 11, 2005

Hank

Have I told you guys about Hank? I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about Hank! Hank is my new boyfriend. No, I have not replaced Clive. Trust me, if Clive showed up and offered to fill in for Hank, Hank would be kicked to the curb before you could say lickable chin dimple. However, since Clive has yet to show up on my doorstep, I’m making due with Hank.

Hank is the perfect boyfriend. He likes to cuddle, but he never puts his cold feet on you. He doesn’t snore or hog the covers or drool on your pillow. He never falls asleep while you are talking to him. He never tells you that you are wrong. If you need a little more space, Hank is perfectly happy to sleep on the floor. Really, kick him right out of bed and you will never hear him complain.

Now sure, everything isn’t all peaches and light. Hank isn’t a very interesting conversationalist and he’s a pretty lousy dresser and he is kind of short. I mean, he’s a good couple inches shorter than me, so I feel like I can never wear heels when we are together. But even so, I think we can make this relationship work.

Hank. My boyfriend. My body pillow.

Posted by Beth at March 11, 2005 11:56 AM
Comments

oh yeah a prego girls best friend...well that and Mr Hagen Daz

Posted by: Pamalamadingdong at March 11, 2005 12:04 PM

aw, i wish you and hank all the best. let me know when you guys get engaged! ;)

Posted by: kat at March 11, 2005 12:13 PM

Doesn't Chris get jealous at Hank? :)

Posted by: Sweety at March 11, 2005 12:27 PM

i wish you and Hank only the best... i had a friend like that when i was pg. his name was George, he wore flannel. by the end of our relationship he was all smelly, rumpled and frumpy. i miss him, even the hubby still asks about him... if only i remembered where i stuffed his lifeless lumpy body...

Posted by: monique at March 11, 2005 12:36 PM

"peaches and light"?

I never heard that expression before...

Posted by: alektra at March 11, 2005 12:53 PM

When I was preggie, I had a bed-partner named George. He was soft and squishy in all the right places. But alas, he didn't make it through the final cut. I've had to replace him with a newer model. George the Second. Who is also about to be replaced with a new model, only mum's the word, because he doesn't know it yet.

Posted by: Queen of Ass at March 11, 2005 01:50 PM

Has Hank forgiven you yet for punching him repeatedly in the middle of the night?

Posted by: Jenorama at March 11, 2005 02:07 PM

I suppose Chris would be sleeping on the sofa if they came out with the Massaging Hank?

Posted by: Jon in Michigan at March 11, 2005 02:53 PM

Ah yes, I had one of those called Bob. It wasn't any pillow in particular, just whichever pillow I felt like cuddling with that night. My ex was actually really jealous of Bob, and used to put Bob in the corner. It was very distressing, because what did Bob ever do to hurt my ex and dude, he was jealous of a stupid pillow.

Posted by: Gloria at March 11, 2005 02:54 PM

I couldn't get through a night without my body pillow. Oh wait, I can't get through a night WITH the body pillow. Hmmm... Well, without it there would be major hell to pay.

Posted by: RockStar Mommy at March 11, 2005 03:43 PM

Does Hank get to stay out when company comes over, or is he relegated to the closet like most body pillows?

Posted by: smartjuice at March 11, 2005 06:11 PM

I knew you would love Hank!

Posted by: Tricia at March 11, 2005 08:34 PM

4 years later, I still have a body pillow, I got used to it when I was pregnant and now I can't sleep without one....then again, there aint no hubby beside me LOL

Posted by: Nina at March 11, 2005 09:21 PM

well it took hank bloody well long enough to show up....I hope you gave him a good talking to before you welcomed him with open arms

Posted by: Casey at March 11, 2005 10:07 PM

this new love affair will be never ending.
my daughter is now 18 months old and i aint giving my SausageRoll up for nobody!!!!!

Posted by: Bella at March 12, 2005 07:03 AM

Oh the stories I could tell about my body pillow, this is not the place though as I imagine you want to keep it at least PG in here. ;-)

Posted by: Jeff A at March 12, 2005 09:12 AM

Ah, yes. My pillowy honey was Fergus. Love. Love love love.

Posted by: Jenny at March 12, 2005 10:42 AM

I love the names everyone has picked out for their mates: Bob, Fergus, Hank, and George. Ironically, they are very funny-sounding names and when you picture a Hank, a Bob etc. you think of a crinkly, bumbling old man. At least I do.

What a wasteless/senseless theory I just conjoured.

Posted by: Maureen at March 12, 2005 02:23 PM