Strings

Ok, I’ve never done this before, but I do occasionally read through the search strings that bring people to my site. Lately, I am getting lots of hits looking for playmates, thanks to calling myself Miss March, and lots of hits looking for pictures of naked pregnant women. So apologies to anyone who came here looking for boobies, but I can offer you a really lovely belly shot if you hit the archives.

Anyway, yesterday I saw a search string that made me laugh so hard I nearly fell out of my chair. I tried it myself and found that I was the third hit for this particular query, but that there were three pages of results, which made me laugh even harder. I really wish I could tell you what the search string was, but I just can’t. Instead, I decided that since I had gotten so much entertainment from my search strings, I would share some of my favorites with all you dear people.

rent my boobs
Thanks, but I don’t need to anymore. I finally have my own.

falling down the stairs when pregnant
I got this one like 8 times. Yes, I fell down the stairs while pregnant. Is there anybody who didn’t fall down the stairs while pregnant? I’ve never met them.

can you touch pregnant woman’s belly?
Not if you are attached to that hand.

pictures of whine poo
I really hope this was supposed to be Winnie the Pooh, because otherwise I just can’t imagine.

beth naked pictures
I already said no. I know it’s crushing, but you need to get over it.

why are people short waisted
Because someone has to compensate for my 4 foot long torso.

men forced to wear maternity clothes
It was only once. How did you find out?

how to get a fatter belly
Because this is something you want?

things not to say pregnant woman wife
Pretty much anything

cutest belly
I know, but I hate to brag.

beethoven moo
Moo? Moo?

is it ok to poke the baby while pregnant to make it move
Yes! As much as you like! But don’t ask your doctor because she will tell you to stop.

a cranky wife
You’ve been talking to my husband, right?

flaming butt
Ouch

ugg boots and pantyhose
Ok, Ugg boots were hideously ugly to start with and have also been thankfully over for at least a year. Also, pantyhose are disgusting.

amnio wine
I might have agreed to the amnio if I knew it came with wine.

what is the difference between a pregnancy belly and bloating?
You mean other then the fetus?

random facts about boogers
I just wanted to say boogers on my blog.

how do twinkies get babies
Probably has something to do with the creamy filling.