April 26, 2006
The Cat Who Walks Through Walls
We named Pixel after the kitten in the Robert Heinlein book who walked through walls because he didn't know that he couldn't. He walked into our apartment one day 12 years ago and curled up in a chair and decided to stay, so it seemed appropriate. He was literally starving when we got him, and even on a steady diet of cat food four times a day he would still stalk and eat french fries, pizza, tortilla chips, cheese and doughnuts. At one point he tipped the scales at somewhere north of 18 pounds, but lately he was just a bit more than eight. He mellowed a bit the last few years, but you still had to watch yourself around him as he never fully got over his time as a stray and having to fight for his life and he could take a chunk out of you when the mood struck. He's the only cat I have ever known who came when you called him.
Pixel did not do well after the surgery yesterday. It seems he had a pretty nasty infection hiding in his lymphnodes along with the cancer and overnight the infection took over. This morning, we had to decide whether to keep going with treatments that might buy us a little time, might even buy us enough time to treat the likely very advanced cancer and possibly get Pixel another six months, or to just let him go. We decided to let him go. A little while ago, we sent him off to find Callie.
I want our cats back now, please.
Posted by Beth at April 26, 2006 01:17 PMI'm so sorry, Beth. I wish our friends could stay with us forever.
Posted by: ben at April 26, 2006 01:29 PMI am so sorry, Beth. This is making ME hurt and cry, so I can't even imagine the pain and loss you feel right now. This is devastating. Truly, truly sorry. (((hug)))
Posted by: Ms. Q at April 26, 2006 01:31 PMI am so sorry.
Posted by: witchy_puppy at April 26, 2006 01:31 PMOh Beth I'm so sorry that you lost both of them, and so close together. I'm thinking about you guys.
Posted by: Laura at April 26, 2006 01:32 PMOh God. I am so sorry.
Posted by: Jen at April 26, 2006 01:33 PMI'm sorry. So very sorry.
Posted by: Julie at April 26, 2006 01:35 PMThis entry and PMS are not a good combo. I am so so so incredibly sorry. My heart is breaking for you and Chris....
Posted by: Lisa at April 26, 2006 01:38 PMOh Beth, I am so so sorry. It just isn't fair. Snuggle Mia extra tight today.
Posted by: erin at April 26, 2006 01:39 PMI knew when I saw you and Chris up on my RSS reader just now that something had gone wrong with Pixel. This is me hugging you and hoping things start looking up soon!
Posted by: mom on a wire at April 26, 2006 01:39 PMI'm so sorry. What a terrible loss.
Posted by: marymuses at April 26, 2006 01:39 PM{{{{{huuuuuuuuug}}}}}
gadamn, no fair no fair.
If it is any consolation, my coworkers must think I'm crazy for sitting here with tears streaming down my face.
Oh Beth, "the pooh" goes on, another cat or 3 will wander into your life, and this will happen very soon.
Posted by: Betti at April 26, 2006 01:41 PMI am so sorry.
Posted by: Busy Mom at April 26, 2006 01:42 PMOh man, I am so, so sorry for you all. That's just not fair.
Pixel's story sounds a lot like my Gracie's and they even look alike. I think I need to get both my cats in for check-ups.
Posted by: Beth in StL at April 26, 2006 01:44 PMI am so so sorry. I can't imagine how much you guys must be hurting. Take comfort knowing that Callie and Pixel will be together again, now.
Posted by: Kell at April 26, 2006 01:48 PMI feel so sorry for you guys! That's rough.
Posted by: Jessie at April 26, 2006 01:50 PMI said this on Chris' blod, and I'll echo it here-
Oh, Beth, my heart breaks for you and Chris. To lose both cats so close together is horrible for you and little Mia, who doesn't understand.
My thoughts are with you.
Posted by: Jodi at April 26, 2006 01:55 PMOh god, that sucks so much. I know it doesn't help, but I'm sitting here now with tears rolling down my cheeks. I really feel for you.
I am sure that Callie and Pixel are curled up somewhere together now, sleeping.
I can't imagine. I wish you all well with your healing.
Posted by: jaime at April 26, 2006 01:57 PMi can't stop crying.
Posted by: RzDrms at April 26, 2006 01:58 PMI just came over from Rude Cactus where I left an overly long comment. I don't cry much but I have tears in my eyes for your pain and my memories of kitties I want back.
The girls believe in a kitty heaven with lots of grass and trees, yummy food. All of our past kitties will meet up there and best of all, no dogs. They have their own.
Much love,
Ann
Posted by: ann adams at April 26, 2006 02:06 PMI'm so sorry. Losing a pet is so hard but 2 so close just sucks.
Posted by: Jules at April 26, 2006 02:07 PMI'm so sorry for all of you. No matter how long family members are around, it's never long enough.
Posted by: Melissa S at April 26, 2006 02:07 PMI want your cats back now, too. :( *hugs* I'm sorry, hun. :(
Posted by: Manda at April 26, 2006 02:08 PMI am almost crying after reading your post and Chris'. I'm so sorry. This is just not fair. I'm proud of you for making the really tough but humane decision. I'm thinking of you.
Posted by: donna at April 26, 2006 02:10 PMoh no i'm so sorry beth. *big hug*
Posted by: averil at April 26, 2006 02:12 PMI'm thinking of you.
Posted by: MoMMY at April 26, 2006 02:15 PMHere's to Pixel and Callie...I hope they're tearin' it up together up there. I'm so sorry for you guys.
Posted by: Pammer at April 26, 2006 02:17 PMI'm sorry, Beth...so, so sorry. They must have needed each other more than we can understand. It's not fair.
Posted by: JuJuBee at April 26, 2006 02:19 PMOh, I'm so sorry, Honey. That's so very, very unfair.
Posted by: Emily at April 26, 2006 02:25 PMThat last sentence made me cry. I'm so sorry.
Posted by: samantha at April 26, 2006 02:28 PMI'm really sorry for your losses. It just isn't fair.
Posted by: Sarah at April 26, 2006 02:30 PMoh man. this one hit home. we just put one of my cats to sleep two weeks ago -- he was on his third hunger strike in 9 months and I just couldn't do the force feedings to get him back to health again. I suspected that he didn't react well to our baby (who is now 8 weeks old), or more specifically to the fact that I was too busy with the baby to coddle him like I used to. He had a hard time with stress. When he was put down, the vet said that he felt a mass in his stomach, so maybe it was cancer afterall. Who knows. I'm sad that Bennett won't ever get to play with him; he was a great cat.
I'm sorry that you lost your little guy.
Posted by: lori at April 26, 2006 02:31 PMOh, Beth. My sweet friend. I'm so, so sorry. I don't even know what to say, except for I'm sorry.
Posted by: Sherry at April 26, 2006 02:34 PMI'm so very sorry. I will kick the powers that be if I ever see them.
Posted by: erika at April 26, 2006 02:42 PMthe universe is mighty unfair sometimes. My sympathies to you, chris and mia.
I hope pixel and callie, where ever they are, are warm and curled up together.
Posted by: suze at April 26, 2006 02:42 PMDamn girl, I'm sorry.
Posted by: Sheryl at April 26, 2006 02:44 PMI am so very, very sorry, Beth. You made the right decision but damn what a horrible one it must have been to make. Losing two family members so close together is very sad.
We are all so very sorry for your family's loss.
Posted by: Jacqueline at April 26, 2006 02:45 PMI'm so sorry. Lots and lots of hugs.
Posted by: Traci at April 26, 2006 02:55 PMI am very sorry for your loss.
Posted by: fauve at April 26, 2006 02:55 PMoh Beth. i am so so sorry. my heart breaks for you. no one should have to go through this so close together.
Posted by: monique at April 26, 2006 02:56 PMThat is just so unfair. I am sorry. So, so sorry.
Posted by: Nicole at April 26, 2006 03:05 PMmy heart is breaking for you, Beth.
Wow. I am so sorry.
Posted by: Robyn at April 26, 2006 03:14 PMI'm so sorry for you all. I'm crying over your lost kitties, too. I wish I could say something to make it better, but I know it doesn't work like that. So sorry.
Posted by: Kate the Shrew at April 26, 2006 03:14 PMOh Sweetie, I am so sorry. My heart is breaking along with yours. How awful it is to say goodbye to our beloved pets. There will be others who will come into your life and make you smile again, but right now, I know that doesn't help.
All I can do is send you a big {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}
This is so not fair. And I'm really sorry you both had to go through this again. Pixel was beautiful.
Posted by: Vicky (Desperate to be a Housewife) at April 26, 2006 03:14 PMMy God you guys. I am So Sorry this is happening again, so soon. Putting all religious beliefs aside, I believe in the Rainbow Bridge and I believe Pixel is there now, with Callie, basking in the sunlight.
Im crying.
Posted by: alfredsmom at April 26, 2006 03:16 PMI'm so sorry.
Posted by: Jaycie at April 26, 2006 03:20 PMI'm so so very sorry for your loss. This is just so unfair. Maybe Pixel just missed Callie so much it was time to go find her. I don't know, I just know that this sucks. We'll be keeping you in our thoughts.
Posted by: Elaine at April 26, 2006 03:21 PMOh hon, I am so sorry...
Posted by: Amber at April 26, 2006 03:22 PMOh Beth, I am so, so sorry. *huge hugs*
Posted by: ku nkiko at April 26, 2006 03:33 PMSo sorry to read this, at least he isn't in pain anymore.
Posted by: Katherine at April 26, 2006 03:43 PMI'm so sorry Beth. We've had to make that desicion too and it's never easy.
Posted by: Sherri at April 26, 2006 03:45 PMBeth I'm so sorry for you all. That's so rough, especially so close together.
Posted by: hannah at April 26, 2006 03:46 PMAs I commented on Cactus' site, I am so sorry for your family's loss!!
Posted by: Liberal Banana at April 26, 2006 03:55 PMOh, I'm so sorry. Take care.
Posted by: Sara at April 26, 2006 04:02 PMThis is so not fair. He looks just like my dear, departed Zelda in that picture, which only made me cry even more than your sweet post already had. I am truly, deeply sorry, Beth. I hope that Pixel is happily cavorting with Callie and Zelda, and all the other cool kitties, wherever they may snooze. My sincere condolences for your loss. *sniff*
Posted by: shelley at April 26, 2006 04:07 PMYou've had more than your fair share. My thoughts are with you.
Posted by: Liz at April 26, 2006 04:18 PMI'm so sorry Beth, it must be so tough losing both of the cats so close together. Best wishes to all of you.
Posted by: Kerry at April 26, 2006 04:19 PMI'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Jenny at April 26, 2006 04:22 PMI am so sorry. I know it's awful.
Posted by: Alissa at April 26, 2006 04:23 PMI am so sorry.
Posted by: JJ at April 26, 2006 04:25 PMOh, god. I have serious tears for you guys.
Posted by: Jodi at April 26, 2006 04:28 PMWell, shit. This really, really sucks Beth. Which you know. Oh geez. I'm so, so sorry.
Posted by: Heather at April 26, 2006 04:46 PMI'm so sorry, Beth. It's very obvious that you took wonderful care of both Pixel and Callie. You gave them each a lovely life, and dignified exits. I hope the hurting fades very soon.
Posted by: Vaguely Urban at April 26, 2006 05:21 PMOh no! That's SO not fair.
Not fai
(oops Noah hit the enter key)
not fair at all
I am very sorry about Pixel. I was sure that your next post about him would be happier. You did the right thing even though saying goodbye is so sad.
Posted by: Irene at April 26, 2006 05:48 PMSHit girl, that sucks so bad. I'm very sorry for you, Chris and Mia.
Hugs.
Posted by: Melissa at April 26, 2006 05:50 PMI am so sorry for your loss.
Posted by: angela at April 26, 2006 05:55 PMGod, I am so sorry...that is so awful, to lose both of them in such a short amount of time. At least Pixel and Callie both lived long enough for Mia to meet them.
Posted by: Ryan at April 26, 2006 06:02 PMWhen I saw your post I was hoping it wasn't what I thought it was. I'm so sorry it was. I'd be completely crushed if I were you. I'll hug our animals extra tight tonight and am so very sorry for your loss.
Posted by: Heather at April 26, 2006 06:07 PMBeth, I am so sorry. I wish I could give you your cats back.
Posted by: keepergirl at April 26, 2006 06:20 PMI'm so sorry you guys.
Posted by: Rhonda at April 26, 2006 06:29 PMI'm so sorry you've had to go through this again so soon :(
Posted by: Emily at April 26, 2006 06:56 PMSo sorry.
Posted by: Susan at April 26, 2006 06:59 PMSorry for another loss. I'm sure Pixel is with Callie now, chasing mice. Peace.
Posted by: Milly at April 26, 2006 07:00 PMI'm so sorry, Beth.
Posted by: bmh at April 26, 2006 07:33 PMOh, gosh! That suck! I'm so so sorry. Callie & PIxel up in Heaven together.
Posted by: Magnolia Mom at April 26, 2006 07:37 PMthe same thing i told chris...i can't imagine losing two pets in such a short time. i hope they are happy together now...
Posted by: tiffanie at April 26, 2006 07:44 PMI realize that I don't "know" you but I am still crying. I gave my cat an extra hug and I didn't even yell when I found a surprise in my new shoes.
Posted by: Dee at April 26, 2006 08:16 PMOh, I'm so sorry.
Posted by: patricia at April 26, 2006 08:44 PMPixel, Callie, and the entire Cactus-Fish family are in our thoughts...
Posted by: Liz at April 26, 2006 08:57 PMOh goodness Beth, this is just horrible. I am so very sorry.
Posted by: Emily at April 26, 2006 09:08 PMso sorry for your loss....
Posted by: ::c:: at April 26, 2006 09:30 PMI'm so sorry this had to happen on the heels of Callie. So, so, so sorry. I hope that someday, when the pain fades a little, that you are able to be as excellent of a pet-mommy to another feline baby--not to replace these two, but because you so obviously love having cats around and they love you. So, so sorry that you have to go through this.
Posted by: wavybrains at April 26, 2006 09:37 PMBeth... I'm so, so very sorry about your loss. My heart is breaking for you guys. Please let me know if you need anything.
Posted by: Corinne at April 26, 2006 09:49 PMNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! God I'm SO SORRY. Totally not fair. Not one bit. Going to hug my really old cat now...
Posted by: kara at April 26, 2006 10:03 PMI'm so sorry to hear this. I had no idea your kitty was so sick. You made the right decision in letting Pixel go. I hope you and your family heal quickly from this.
Posted by: haley-o at April 26, 2006 10:08 PMThis is not fair. Not at all. I'm so sorry, Beth. It's so soon after Callie for you to have to deal with another loss. I hope you guys feel better. I think Pixel may have just missed Callie too much. You guys are in my thoughts.
Posted by: catbird at April 26, 2006 10:31 PMI am so sorry.
Posted by: Beth at April 26, 2006 10:35 PMVery sorry, Beth. :(
Posted by: Jon in Michigan at April 26, 2006 11:48 PMI'm so sorry, Beth.
Posted by: Kathryn at April 27, 2006 12:01 AMSo sorry Beth, take care hun.
Posted by: Mary Jo at April 27, 2006 12:10 AMOh, I'm so sorry to hear that. It is so incredibly hard to lose a pet!!! My heart goes out to you...
Posted by: Natalie at April 27, 2006 12:29 AMso sorry to hear this news. At least you have alot of good memories.
Posted by: kristied at April 27, 2006 12:50 AMI just had to go and hug my cats. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you and Chris many hugs.
Posted by: jayne d'Arcy at April 27, 2006 12:52 AMHugs...I know how much this hurts...and I know it isn't right that the world keeps going on...when it stopped in a moment in time for you... Know that so many of us care...and that we will miss the furry baby stories!
Posted by: Gypsy at April 27, 2006 01:16 AMI can't fathom how horrible it would feel to lose my 2 kitties - you must be devestated. I was very sad indeed to hear that you'd lost Pixel, too.
Posted by: Kristina at April 27, 2006 02:46 AMI'm so sorry. It's even worse that you lost them so close together. Your post made me cry because it's just so sad and you're very right -- it's just not fucking fair. I hope you feel better soon... my warmest regards.
Posted by: Jennie at April 27, 2006 03:56 AMI'm sorry Beth....
Posted by: Snapper at April 27, 2006 05:54 AMBeth, I am so sorry.
Posted by: Kate at April 27, 2006 06:47 AMBeth, I am so sorry.
Posted by: Kate at April 27, 2006 06:47 AMI am so very sorry. I know that Callie and Pixel are up there watching over all 3 of you.
Hugs!
Posted by: Wicked H at April 27, 2006 06:55 AMI am so sorry for your family having to lose two of your best friends. Know that they are together and will be waiting for you when you get there. They may even come visit to make sure you are okay.
This is so sad! Having lost my dog years ago (which I have never gotten over) I don't even want to think about losing any of my kitties. I don't think I could deal with the loss of two babies, let along three, in such a short time from each other. My condolences!
Posted by: Red at April 27, 2006 08:40 AMThere's no words... simply sorry for the loss of your friend...
Posted by: Stephanie at April 27, 2006 08:41 AMI'm so sorry for you. I can't even imagine what it's like for you to have lost both furry friends in such a short time.
Posted by: Jen at April 27, 2006 09:08 AMBeth, I'm so sorry about Pixel. I can't imagine losing two cats like you have so close to each other. Thinking of you.
Posted by: kelly at April 27, 2006 09:44 AMBeth, this makes me cry. I am so very sorry. It is a strange thing how things work out. I heard a very sad story the other day about young twins dieing within two days of each other...and now this. It seems to me that sometimes there are people (or cats) who are linked in very special ways, and even death cannot seperate them. Maybe his time really came now, because he needed to go find Callie. It doesn't make it any easier on you, and for that I am so very sorry...try to take comfort that they have each other now. Thinking of you...
Posted by: Summer at April 27, 2006 09:55 AMSO.FLUFFIN.UNFAIR to lose them so close together.
Unsolicited advice warning: wait a little while before you replace them.
Posted by: speckledpup at April 27, 2006 10:06 AMI am so sorry for your loss. That is rotten that your two fury friends are gone in just a few months. I am glad you have Mia to distract you!
Posted by: Krista at April 27, 2006 10:20 AMI am so very sorry for your loss.
Posted by: kim at April 27, 2006 10:21 AMOh Beth, my heart aches reading this. I am so desperately sorry for your loss. To lose two pets within such a short period of time must be so difficult. I don't know what else to say, but you have my thoughts and prayers.
Jean
Posted by: Jean at April 27, 2006 10:26 AMOh Beth I am really so sorry. There aren't words to express anything really helpful here. Sorry, it sucks, my heart is with you.
I'm so sorry.
Posted by: wordgirl at April 27, 2006 10:50 AMBeth, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It sucks when you lose a furry baby... many hugs for the Cactus-Fish family.
Posted by: Karen at April 27, 2006 10:56 AM:(
I'm so sorry Beth. I know how hard it is to lose a kitty, but two? Big {{hugs}}.
Posted by: Bella at April 27, 2006 10:57 AMI just feel so sad for you guys. It's not fair to lose two beloved pets so close together.
Posted by: bad penguin at April 27, 2006 11:02 AMOMG, you guys! I'm so sorry this happened! You've had a really rough spring. I hope the rest of the year treats you more kindly.
Posted by: kristie at April 27, 2006 11:30 AMOh Beth, my heart hurts for you. I'm so so so sorry.
Posted by: halloweenlover at April 27, 2006 11:31 AMI'm crying for you inside, and trying desperately not to cry outside (might startle my colleague) - oh Beth, I'm so, so sorry.
I could say all the normal corny things that people say trying to comfort one another but I won't. Instead, my email address is Alice.Collison@bigroup.co.uk and if you want to (you don't have to, this is just in case you do want to) you can email me and shout and scream and swear and cry and say anything you want and I will listen. I won't interrupt and tell you I know how you feel, or tell you my own stories about losing my loved ones because that probably, almost certainly, isn't what you need right now. What you need is people who will just listen and be there, and I (along with all the other commenters I imagine) am here for you and willing to do just that.
*Hugs* xxx
Oh, how awful, Beth. I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Kris at April 27, 2006 11:34 AMNot again! Oh Beth I'm so so sorry! I really won't say much more, I think everyone else has said enough. Big Hugs to both of you.
Posted by: Sabrina at April 27, 2006 12:45 PMI am so very sorry.
Posted by: Shelly at April 27, 2006 01:22 PMAww I am so sorry. I'm crying so I can only image what you are going through.
Posted by: Mindy at April 27, 2006 01:24 PMI'm so sorry, honey.
Posted by: Karen at April 27, 2006 03:46 PMAwww, I'm SO sorry hon'. Hugs to you & your family!
Posted by: Sweety at April 27, 2006 03:50 PMI'm so sorry, Beth. :( That is SOOO sad. Hang in there.
Posted by: Jaime at April 27, 2006 04:11 PMMy sympathies...I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
Posted by: Mel at April 27, 2006 06:19 PMI'm so sorry for your family's loss. Having been there myself, I know how difficult it is.
My thoughts and hugs are with you guys.
Shash
Posted by: Shash at April 27, 2006 06:32 PMI'm really sorry...
Posted by: Jenn at April 27, 2006 08:00 PMOh Beth, I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking and I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face. I hope that Pixel & Callie can reunite soon and share the good sleeping spots.
Posted by: carrster at April 27, 2006 08:04 PMI'm sorry, Beth. Evidently, my powers with the universe did not work.
Posted by: Stephanie at April 27, 2006 09:33 PMI don't know if you'll remember me or not, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry about Pixel.
I hate that you're hurting so much.
Posted by: New Jan Brady (Lauren) at April 27, 2006 10:24 PMI am so sorry for your loss, Beth. Wonderful name for a great cat, no doubt. Pixel reminds me a lot of my Bear, whom we had to let go two years ago. (I miss the picture you used to have of him on the site.)
Posted by: Paulette at April 28, 2006 12:12 AMI'm so very sorry.
Posted by: iheartnewyork at April 28, 2006 08:16 AMI feel for your loss, having lost Watson two years ago to stomach cancer. I hope you have found the poem Rainbow Bridge on the Internet. Instead I offer you this:
"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temorary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept is awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan..."
The once Again Prince "From Separate Life Times" Irving Townsend
Feel free to write and we can talk about your cats, whenever you'd like.
Posted by: Monty at April 28, 2006 01:24 PMI'm so sorry.
Posted by: liz at April 28, 2006 11:45 PMI am so sorry. It's awful. We lost our dog of 12 years in February to cancer. Almost a year to the day when my favorite cat, that I had had for 14 years (longer than the kids, she was my first baby) lost her fight with kidney disease.
They really get under your skin, don't they? At least now Callie has a friend up there.
Again, I am sorry.
Posted by: TLC at April 29, 2006 04:47 AMOh my gosh...I've been a little behind in your blog and just found out about pixel...that is NOT FAIR. I am so, so sorry.
*cries*
Jessica
Posted by: Jessica at April 29, 2006 12:36 PMi HATE that this happened to you guys this past month. people without pets in their lives just wouldn't be able to understand how a tiny piece of yourself would have to be cut away to say goodbye to them.
so sorry. :(
Posted by: Sarcomical at April 30, 2006 11:06 AMI'm so sorry. I hope they found each other and having a great time.
Posted by: Katy at May 1, 2006 11:24 AM
